BritSpags, Explain your fucked up language

[Suu]

It's English. We invented it. We can do what we want, when we want. . If you want to change it all and add random zed's in there because you think it makes you from the future or something, by all means, be our guest. But then it's not English, it's...i don't know. Make up your own name for it. I don't know why you'd want to speak English anyway. You felt the need to kill us and send us back where we came from, why not abandon the language of the King you didn't want? YOU MAKE NO SENSE!

English was invented because the British Isles could never hold their own identity, so it's a pissing match of Germanic, Gael, French, Latin, and Norse dialects. Pretty much every culture that decided to invade left us a few nouns and verbs and some pissant grammatical rule that doesn't exist anywhere else.

Most of the rest from places we invaded ourselves.

No. I don't think there's any Aboriginal or Indian words anywhere....Admit it. The language is shit. It's okay really...I agree with you and I'm a native speaker.

Plenty of Indian words in English. Juggernaut, Avatar, Raj, Karma and Nirvana to name a few.

Yeah but a lot of them have traditional Hindu and Buddhist connotations. It's not like we adopted them into the English language to take the place of something. Heaven is still heaven, not Nirvana (I know, spiritually different but you understand what I'm getting at.)

[Zenpeanut]

I see you how you guys work...you send in a covert British Anatomy professor who says revising instead of reviewing and vit-a-mins instead of the values-instilled vite-a-mins.

And it's working. I just said that I needed to do some more revising in the morning for the anatomy test tomorrow

fuckers 

[Jean-Lustine d'Hadamard]

"Blagging" is not a word.

It bloody well is, Guv'na!

England needs to get it's shit together, or I'm going to write a letter to The Times.  Not kidding.

Telegraph too.

[MMIX]

while subtly disguised as a joke this incisive expose of British political beliefs should help you to send your letters to the correct journal

* The Times: Read by the people who run the country.

    * Daily Mirror: Read by the people who think they run the country.

    * Guardian: Read by the people who think they ought to run the country.

    * Morning Star: Read by the people who think the country ought to be run by another country.

    * Daily Mail: Read by the wives of the people who own the country.

    * Financial Times: Read by people who own the country.

    * Daily Express: Read by the people who think that the country ought to be run as it used to be.

    * Daily Telegraph: Read by the people who think it still is.

    * The Sun: Their readers don't care who runs the country as long as she has big tits.

Yes its old, yes its a joke, but that doesn't mean it isn't right, dammit.

[Jean-Lustine d'Hadamard]

Yes its old, yes its a joke, but that doesn't mean it isn't right, dammit.

It is largely right. Although Daily Express has morphed into a cross between something like a version of National Enquirer that takes itself seriously (viz. Diana conspiracy theories) and whole bunch of anti-immigrant rhetoric.

(I would point out that The Independent is missing from the list, but really, who gives a shit?)

[Aufenthatt]

We speak pretty much the same English as the UK, though with less "innit" and "bollocks"

Fuck off you twat, i'll kick your 'ead in down the gaff if you suggest for one arse numbing moment that anyone anywhere in albion regularly uses the word bollocks.


But the irish do.


Also, on the topic of Us and Zs, GO AND MAKE FILMS ABOUT YOUR OWN PIDDLEY LITTLE CULTURE. You just can't take it that the French sold those guns to the japanese, so you spend millions of dollars making a film about "the last samurai" (for some fucking reason you think the last samurai was American, idiots) to try and convince the world otherwise.

Braveheart was neither brave nor a scottish peasant, he was a drunken lout with too much money a big sword and a jeep powered by sloviakian cider, think TGRR but in a kilt. The scotish gave as good as they got, and started that war, king Edward was quite nice for the time, Robert the Bruce had claim to the throne though his Engish (and therfore Norman) ancestry.

While we're on it, Richard the Lionheart was both French and a total bastard (not unconected), and prince John was an alright. Robin Hood is a general term for a criminal which has fallen out of use because of the infamous criminal Harry Houdini, who use to (due to a funny speach impediment) take other peoples things and put them in his "blag".  

[Richter]

While we are at it, stop saying biscuit, boot, and lift when you really mean cookie, trunk, and elevator. And don't even get me started on how you completely misuse the words fanny and fag.

Arse vs. Quim confusion.  Common problem since the times in which "Rob Roy" was set, from what I've gathered. 

Seperate beef with Quim.  Yes, I can see how it is a bastardization of the old english vagina slang  "Quinte", (The 5th Element is pussy.  Suck it Willis.) as found in Chaucer.  It however, has degraded to the point where it sounds silly.  Stop that.

  I love rants about missue of my fucking language. 

[hooplala]

I am Canadian, and I loathe all the extra "U"s in our language.  I type them mostly because it was beaten into my brain in school, but I hate them and think they are idiotic and unnecessary.

Also, I say ZEE rather than ZED.

Zed is a name, Zee is a letter.  Get used to it.


(the above comments NEVER fail to start an argument in Canuckistan, which is -of course- my hobby)

[Aufenthatt]

I am Canadian, and I loathe all the extra "U"s in our language.  I type them mostly because it was beaten into my brain in school, but I hate them and think they are idiotic and unnecessary.

The truth is, a lot of Americans were illiterate in the early days. So when Engish was being rolled out you could get rid of some of the letters that didn't make sence because they'd changed from the latic/viking/french. Or they didn't fit the accent.
But its been so long now that English 1.2 is out of date too.

TGRR - ironically supports the progressives

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I am Canadian, and I loathe all the extra "U"s in our language.  I type them mostly because it was beaten into my brain in school, but I hate them and think they are idiotic and unnecessary.

The truth is, a lot of Americans were illiterate in the early days. So when Engish was being rolled out you could get rid of some of the letters that didn't make sence because they'd changed from the latic/viking/french. Or they didn't fit the accent.
But its been so long now that English 1.2 is out of date too.

TGRR - ironically supports the progressives

How did I get mixed up in this?

[Cain]

(I would point out that The Independent is missing from the list, but really, who gives a shit?)

Is Rod Liddle the editor there yet?  I cant wait for Indy editorials praising the BNP, Russian billionaire oligarchs and talking about kicking women Liddle doesn't like "in the cnt", to quote his Millwall forum postings.

[Iason Ouabache]

"Blagging" is not a word.

It bloody well is, Guv'na!

[hooplala]

The truth is, a lot of Americans were illiterate in the early days.

And a lot of the British weren't?   

[Jenne]

I am Canadian, and I loathe all the extra "U"s in our language.  I type them mostly because it was beaten into my brain in school, but I hate them and think they are idiotic and unnecessary.

The truth is, a lot of Americans were illiterate in the early days. So when Engish was being rolled out you could get rid of some of the letters that didn't make sence because they'd changed from the latic/viking/french. Or they didn't fit the accent.

Wha-huh?    Interesting revisionist idea on the great vowel shift, man.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I am Canadian, and I loathe all the extra "U"s in our language.  I type them mostly because it was beaten into my brain in school, but I hate them and think they are idiotic and unnecessary.

The truth is, a lot of Americans were illiterate in the early days. So when Engish was being rolled out you could get rid of some of the letters that didn't make sence because they'd changed from the latic/viking/french. Or they didn't fit the accent.

Wha-huh?    Interesting revisionist idea on the great vowel shift, man.

Also, "Sence"?