Fetishes

[Iason Ouabache]

A girl had me close my eyes and gave me a blowjob while she spole to me in a French accent, but it was so awful and so filled with "'ow you say" all the time that I had a hard time not giggling.  It was cute, but I think it's safe to say I don't share this one.

How rude.


Doesn't she know not to talk when her mouth is full?

You know if she had it might've helped the accent a little.


Also I shouldn't be reading this thread at work, I do believe I'm getting the vapors.

I did have a fling with a chick who would start speaking in fluent french when things got physical.
It was pretty confusing, to tell you the truth, but still pretty hot.

I dated a chick that would speak in fluent German. Not so hot.   

[PeregrineBF]

"85      ...removed the tag that says "do not remove under penalty of law"? "
Pedant: Actually, those tags say "UNDER PENALTY OF LAW THIS TAG NOT TO BE REMOVED EXCEPT BY THE CONSUMER." and their colour indicates the status of the material used. If it's all new material the tag is white, if the item (mattress, pillow, chair, whatever) was used before the tag is supposed to be yellow. There is nothing wrong with removing the tag on an item you have bought, it's just illegal for a store to remove the tag.

"122      ...been in public without wearing underwear? "
Yes, it's called a kilt. I'll not run around in a skirt!

"133      ...posed nude or semi nude for private drawings, paintings or photographs as a 'favor'? "
No, but my mother (& most of her friends) has. She's an artist, most of her friends are artists, they take turns modelling for sketch practice.
Anyone who thinks this is "impure" or "wrong" is ignoring over a thousand years of art history.

"176      ...worn body paint? "
Does woad count?

"211      ...urinated from higher that the fifth floor or equivalent height, above ground level, out of a building, or off a bridge or any such permanent structure? (e.g. the Grand Canyon) "
No, but this gives me an idea for an excellent terrible art installation: Open wall (with guard rail, due to lawyers) with a (big) urinal outside a floor or two down.

A good few of 285-350 or so: It's amazing how much pretending to fool around with another guy annoys some homophobes. Especially when they can't get away, and know you're both/all straight & are doing it to annoy them. Also, most of 280-365?? are "male-oriented" but some don't define gender. They then get repeated in the "female-oriented" section. Poor test design, they should either define gender or not repeat the questions.

"707      ...had sex with a religious officiary? (Priest, nun, mother-superior, cardinal, pope, deity, etc.) " Everyone who has had sex can answer Yes to this, thanks to the POEE POPE thing.

"752      ...been involved in the use of a penis as a leash or bludgeoning device?" The image this creates (think extendable doggy leash) gives new meaning to the phrase "well hung."

"791      ...inflated a condom? "
Yes.
"791.5 ...been in a condom water balloon fight?"

"848      ...drank blood? "
See "Black Pudding". Not really drinking, but if you make the stuff...

"858      ...fed live animals to pets (e.g. baby chicks to the pit bull)? "
I don't have a falconry license yet, but if you count a friend's falcon as a "pet" then yes. Similar for mice with a python.

"864      ...watched animals having sex?"
Welcome to the Discovery channel...

"906      ...whipped someone until they bled? "
Yes. Myself. Sport whipcracking is fun, and cutting targets is fun, but the first 4000 times you hit yourself with the whip hurts like hell. I need to get a shorter (6 ft instead of 10) whip to do the really precise stuff, like candles.

"956      ...taken opiate in any form? "
Go ahead, go to the doctor with hydrocephalus & get a craniotomy without them giving you any morphine. (actually, the morphine didn't really stop any of the pain. Nor do any of the other opiate painkillers I've been given (vicodin, codine, hydrocodone, etc) except for Reglan (metoclopramide) which is an anti-emetic primarily).

1001: Have you ever corrected the stupid questions on a test?
Yes.

85.1%, largely due to inexperience. And that largely due to depression-induced apathy.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I got 46% on the 500 question one. But I forgot to put yes to the religious one. Damn.

The drug questions always lower my score.

[Triple Zero]

OK, I confess I'm guilty of trying to steer the thread by disparaging things I don't like (specifically, who's-kinkier-than-who brag lists) instead of participating in discussion of things I do like.

Anybody here like to get peed on?

Hm, then posting the link to that kinky-percentage test was maybe not so good an idea?

I did the test and promptly forgot the percentage. It was somewhere in the 40-60 range. I bet you'd get a beautiful gauss-curve if you'd plot the score distribution as a histogram

Oh yeah and I saw the question about "necking", not entirely sure what it exactly is, kissing passionately on the neck or something? But if you wonder about juvenile terminology, it kind of makes sense to me, at the age where it is actually a question whether you have done it or not, it makes sense no?

[Triple Zero]

I dated a chick that would speak in fluent German. Not so hot.   

Must have been the chick's fault.

The female in Stereo Total, or Vive la Fete have totally cute hawt voices. Ok they're both french/german maybe that helps.

But really, "nur noch mit dir" .. just the sound of the words It's pure conditioning to think french is somehow the language of love.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

OK, I confess I'm guilty of trying to steer the thread by disparaging things I don't like (specifically, who's-kinkier-than-who brag lists) instead of participating in discussion of things I do like.

Anybody here like to get peed on?

Hm, then posting the link to that kinky-percentage test was maybe not so good an idea?

I did the test and promptly forgot the percentage. It was somewhere in the 40-60 range. I bet you'd get a beautiful gauss-curve if you'd plot the score distribution as a histogram

Oh yeah and I saw the question about "necking", not entirely sure what it exactly is, kissing passionately on the neck or something? But if you wonder about juvenile terminology, it kind of makes sense to me, at the age where it is actually a question whether you have done it or not, it makes sense no?

I posted the link as a joke, actually, because the Purity Test has been around for so long in so many forms that it used to be widely made fun of. But then for some reason I decided to actually waste my time taking it. 

[Triple Zero]

Yeah but it was totally to be expected that the thread would turn (at least temporarily) into a percentage fest

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

"Necking" is what they used to call "making out" in my parents' generation -- back when "making out" was slang for fucking.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Necking = snogging

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

I dated a chick that would speak in fluent German. Not so hot.   

Must have been the chick's fault.

The female in Stereo Total, or Vive la Fete have totally cute hawt voices. Ok they're both french/german maybe that helps.

But really, "nur noch mit dir" .. just the sound of the words It's pure conditioning to think french is somehow the language of love.

i think french sounds like snot

[Dysnomia]

I like the british boys myself...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah but it was totally to be expected that the thread would turn (at least temporarily) into a percentage fest

I actually kind of thought everyone would be familiar with it and would go "LOL purity test!" and ignore it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"Necking" is what they used to call "making out" in my parents' generation -- back when "making out" was slang for fucking.

"Making out" has never been slang for fucking. It's slang for heavy kissing and/or petting. "Necking" is an outdated term from MY parent's generation meaning basically the same thing. I think that "necking" dates at least back to the 20's, while "Making out" only dates to the 50's.

[Suu]

I dated a chick that would speak in fluent German. Not so hot.   

Must have been the chick's fault.

The female in Stereo Total, or Vive la Fete have totally cute hawt voices. Ok they're both french/german maybe that helps.

But really, "nur noch mit dir" .. just the sound of the words It's pure conditioning to think french is somehow the language of love.

If German is spoken fluently it's not scary or guttural at all.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

"Necking" is what they used to call "making out" in my parents' generation -- back when "making out" was slang for fucking.

"Making out" has never been slang for fucking. It's slang for heavy kissing and/or petting. "Necking" is an outdated term from MY parent's generation meaning basically the same thing. I think that "necking" dates at least back to the 20's, while "Making out" only dates to the 50's.

Seriously? It may have had a different evolution geographically. Around here, that's the way it was used.