Limericks

[LMNO]

Rat, I'm stealing some of these to post at TCC.

I'm gonna presume they're Kopyleft, just wanted to let you know.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Rat, I'm stealing some of these to post at TCC.

I'm gonna presume they're Kopyleft, just wanted to let you know.

Moar than happy to... you can attribute if you like, or not Do As Thou Will

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

"In circuits", did Leary once say,
"I can model the most likely way,
that people will act
though it may not be fact...
it seems rather useful today."

The first circuit imprints when you're born,
and you're hungry and alone and forlorn,
You'll learn flee or fight,
(if Leary is right)
when you're treated with love or with scorn.

Circuit two determines the way,
that territory will come into play,
Are you bottom or top,
will you fight, will you flop,
In short are you hunter or prey?

And the third of the circuits is said,
to help you map out your head
in symbol and sign,
as bound up with time
And that's how ideas can spread

Society and sex it would seem,
fall into the fourth circuits stream.
If you like it rough,
or you like to be tough,
or covered in cherries and cream.

And after, perhaps there are more,
than circuits one, two, three and four,
but the next quatrain it seems,
is of dubious means,
Since he was tripping his balls 'cross the floor.

Nonetheless,we move on to the fifth,
which may cause a reality shift,
Neurosmoatic indeed
as we're smoking some weed
Or maybe in freefall adrift.

Circuit Six, if the model's correct
may not be quite what we expect
It seems that dear Leary
held a post-terrestrial theory
about just how High we might get!

Neurogenetics (or learning from cells),
means hearing what DNA yells,
You can trip out on Lucy,
or learn from a Sufi
just where Yog-Sothoth dwells.

Circuit Eight, although it sounds odd,
might be our circuit to God,
it escapes space and time,
as you hit Ketamine
unless Leary was an old Fraud.

[LMNO]

I still find it highly amusing that, according to them, the "God Experience" is being stuck in a K-Hole.

[Suu]

EPIC FAIL LIMERICK BY SUU


So I went one evening to /x/
Trying to avoid the /b/-tard secks,
Creepypasta amidst
T-rex's in mist,
When you see it you're supposed to shit bri/x/?



...Wait, I could troll with this and see what the /b/-tards come up with to add to it?

[Richter]

INSIST YOU PERFORM THAT ACTION WHICH YOU HAVE JUST STRONGLY IMPLIED YOU WILL DO WHILE QUESTIONING YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE!

[Suu]

BUY A KABAR!
KABAR!
KABAR!



-Suu
Destroying 4Chan with Electric Six lyrics since 2007.

[Cramulus]

There once was a crusty old grump
whose posts were as short as a stump.
   He'd damage your liver:
   If a thread don't deliver
He'd send it right back with a BUMP



also, calling dibbs on a few of these for Intermittens: Lesser Poop. Dirty Limericks BELONG in a bathroom reader!

[Cramulus]

(not original)

There was a young sailor named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates
   but a fall on his cutlass
   rendered him nutless
and practically useless on dates



There was a young girl of Baroda
Who built an erotic pagoda;
   the walls of its halls
   were festooned with the balls
and the tools of the fools who bestrode her.



On a maiden a man once begat
Bouncing triplets named Nat, Tat, and Pat;
   'twas fun in the breeding
   but hell in the feeding:
she hadn't a spare tit for Tat.



There was a young man from Belgrave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
   He said "I admit
   I'm a bit of a shit,
But think of the money I save."



I met a lewd nude in Taluda
Who thought she was shrewd; I was shrewder;
   She thought it quite crude
   to be wooed in the nude;
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.



There was an old man of Blackheath
who sat on his set of false teeth;
   Said he, with a start
   "Oh, Lord bless my heart!
I've bitted myself underneath!"



A young trapeze artist named Bract
Is faced by a very sad fact.
   Imagine his pain
   When, again and again,
He catches his wife in the act!



There was a young man of Calcutta
Who had an unfortunate stutter.
   "I would like," he once said
   "some b-b-b-bread
and also some b-b-b-butter."



A very smart lady named Cookie
Said, "I like to mix gambling with nookie.
   Before every race
   I go home to my place
And curl up with a very good bookie."




A surly and pessimist Druid,
A defeatist, if only he knew it,
   Said, "The world's on the skids
   and I think having kids
Is a waste of good seminal fluid."




Let us now broach a firkin to Durkin,
Addicted to jerkin' his gherkin;
   His wife said, "Now Durkin,
   By jerkin' your gherkin
You're shirkin' your firkin' -- you bastard."




There was a young man of Eau Claire,
Enjoying his girl on the stair;
   On the forty-fourth storke,
   the banister broke
and he finished her off in mid-air.



In Summer he said she was fair,
in Autumn her charms were still there;
   But he said to his wife
   in the Winter of life,
"There's no Spring in your old derriere."



A fellow with passions quite gingery
Was exploring his young sister's lingerie;
   Then with giggles of pleasure
   He plundered her treasure-
adding incest to insult and injury.

[Richter]

There once was a young lad named Obad
Who played with food on his own nads
From pastry teabaggin'
His balls were left sagging
Serves him right for Dunkin the Donuts.

[fomenter]

there once was a dot com named Pee Dee
who's dwellers thought they were Erises sweetie
so a golden apple she tossed
and their delusions they lost
they were really quite decrepit and seedy

[Richter]

There once was a lonely Pork Pieman
Who was asked by a virgin walked by him,
If she'd sample his wares
If she'd acknowledge he's there
The deal?  She got food for her "Hi Man!"

[rong]

one evening while sipping a porter
and pondering thoughts of disorder
i googled P.D.
and soon i would see
you don't just walk into mordor

[AFK]

I was reading posts in Or Kill Me
Looking for something to thrill me
Rat from this board
Posted a limerick on fnord
Now you'll hate me like I'm Brian Kilmeade

[BadBeast]

The Limericks here are just fine,
But the best rhymes by far, are all mine,
I may just post some more,
just as soon as I'm sure,
I'm not casting my pearls before swine.