today I learned, in church, that...

[Dysnomia]

When God loves you, he gives you hodgekin's disease!

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

The Lord works in mysterious ways.
   \

[Adios]

Your sins give you the disease, it's part of gods plan.

[Salty]

God does these things to test us, to check for...spiritual soundness. Sometimes he does these things just to keep us in check or, like any parent, God must occasionaly punish his children.

The Good News is, God always forgives. There's always a way to redeem yourself if you put forth enough effort. A lifetime of effort, maybe.

Who can say but The Lord? His Day may come any day, so it's best to just be prepared.

[Cain]

Compared to Ass Ebola, it is good news.

[Iason Ouabache]

God is a dick with terrible aim.

[Requia ☣]

This does not give me good hope for the special mass being held for my cousin tomorrow 

[Dysnomia]

This does not give me good hope for the special mass being held for my cousin tomorrow 

JESUS LOVES YOU

[Adios]

This does not give me good hope for the special mass being held for my cousin tomorrow 

JESUS LOVES YOU

AND TO PROVE IT HE WILL GIVE YOU BUTTSECKS

[Dysnomia]

No really, that WAS the sermon.  That when shit happens to you, don't ask why because it's irrelevant, however the why is because God loves you. What the fuck?  Sometimes I hate people.  

[Dysnomia]

This does not give me good hope for the special mass being held for my cousin tomorrow 

JESUS LOVES YOU

AND TO PROVE IT HE WILL GIVE YOU BUTTSECKS

OF GODLIKE PROPORTIONS




AND ALSO



AIDS

[Requia ☣]

Buttsex with Jesus would be horribly uncomfortable, I'd spend the whole thing thinking about how many people he's 'loved' and that he has extra love for those with horrible diseases.

[Salty]

Not to mention the lack of sanitation back then. Sand gets everywhere.

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

No really, that WAS the sermon.  That when shit happens to you, don't ask why because it's irrelevant, however the why is because God loves you. What the fuck?  Sometimes I hate people.  

It reminds me of the "milk-jug" argument,
Pray to God(or a milk-jug it makes no difference) and ask for something?
Did you get it? If you got what you asked for its because God/the milk jug in his infinite love decided to
bestow it upon you PRAISE GOD/THE MILK JUG!
If you didnt get what you asked for then God/the milk jug in his infinite wisdom decided you didnt need it(even if "it" was your cancer going away),
PRAISE GOD/THE MILK JUG!

[The Johnny]

No really, that WAS the sermon.  That when shit happens to you, don't ask why because it's irrelevant, however the why is because God loves you. What the fuck?  Sometimes I hate people.  

It reminds me of the "milk-jug" argument,
Pray to God(or a milk-jug it makes no difference) and ask for something?
Did you get it? If you got what you asked for its because God/the milk jug in his infinite love decided to
bestow it upon you PRAISE GOD/THE MILK JUG!
If you didnt get what you asked for then God/the milk jug in his infinite wisdom decided you didnt need it(even if "it" was your cancer going away),
PRAISE GOD/THE MILK JUG!