An Open letter to America.

[Remington]

The Reverend lives, born again in a maelstrom of Haet!

The Great Discordian De/Re/Unvival is nigh.

[Salty]

YES.
This what America needs.
Whether it wants it or not.
I felt the shift in the ground, it quaked beneath me today and I knew something Good was coming.

Nice to see you back from the dead.

[E.O.T.]

RE; OP

         

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The reanimation of TGRR might be our only hope! We need The Rage! We need The Hate! And most of all, more than anything, we need The Fear.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The reanimation of TGRR might be our only hope! We need The Rage! We need The Hate! And most of all, more than anything, we need The Fear.

We have ALL OF THAT.  At BARGAIN BASEMENT PRICES.

[Epimetheus]

 

[Payne]

1 And the word of Payne came unto me, saying,

2 Poster of PD, set thy face toward the children of Tucson, and prophesy against them:

3 and say unto the children of Tucson, Hear the word of the Lord Payne: Thus saith the Lord Payne, Because thou saidst, lol, against my sanctuary, when it was profaned; and against the forum of PD, when it was made desolate; and against the board of Apple Talk, when they went into captivity:

4 therefore, behold, I will deliver thee to the children of TCC for a possession, and they shall set their encampments in thee, and make their dwellings in thee; they shall eat thy cactus, and they shall drink thy tears.

5 And I will make the Meatrack a stable for furries, and the children of Tucson a couching-place for flocks: and ye shall know that I am Payne.

6 For thus saith the Lord Payne: Because thou hast danced thy safety dance, and huffed with the jenkem, and rejoiced with all the despite of thy soul against the forum of PD;

7 therefore, behold, I have stretched out my hand upon thee, and will deliver thee for a spoil to the interwebs; and I will cut thee off from the peoples, and I will cause thee to perish out of the wi-fi hotspots: I will destroy thee; and thou shalt know that I am Payne.

8 Thus saith the Lord Payne: Because that Howl and Roger do say, Behold, the board of Apple Talk is like unto all the nations;

9 therefore, behold, I will open the side of Howl from the mad science creations, from his mad science creations which are on his frontiers, the glory of the cactus, Freekys Automatic Boyfriend Machine, The Puppy Cannon, and The Storied Ducati,

10 unto the children of TCC, [to go] against the children of Tucson; and I will give them for a possession, that the children of Tucson may not be remembered among the nations.

11 and I will execute judgments upon Howl; and they shall know that I am Payne.

12 Thus saith the Lord Payne: Because that Roger hath dealt against the board of Apple Talk by taking vengeance, and hath greatly offended, and revenged himself upon it;

13 therefore thus saith the Lord Payne, I will stretch out my hand upon Roger, and will cut off fur and facial hair from it; and I will make it desolate from Taint; even unto Crown shall he be shorn by the sword.

14 And I will lay my vengeance upon Roger by the hand of my people of PD; and they shall do to Roger according to mine anger and according to my wrath; and they shall know my vengeance, saith the Lord Payne.

15 Thus saith the Lord Payne: Because the Arizonianites have dealt by revenge, and have taken vengeance with despite of soul to destroy with perpetual enmity;

16 therefore thus saith the Lord Payne, Behold, I will stretch out my hand upon the Arizonianites, and I will cut off the High Desert, and destroy the remnant of the Normal People.

17 And I will execute great vengeance upon them with wrathful rebukes; and they shall know that I am Payne, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Payne hands his Wizards Robe and Hat to TGRR, and changes his title.

[Salty]

Godammit. Don't ever let up Good Reverend.
These fuckers, the one's surrounding me every god damned day, they haven't earned anything less than a NEVERENDING FOUNT OF HATE.

Sure they're HUMAN and UNIQUE and MOTHERFUCKING SPECIAL. And every damned one of them deserves to be shoved into a god damned schute (or HOWEVER ONE MOTHERFUCKING SPELLS THAT WORD) and forgotten.

OR KILL ME OR THEM OR ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE WHAT'S COMING TO THEM.
AND YES I'M DAMNED DRUNK.
BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE *NEED* IN THIS NATION.
THE NEED FOR *WAR*!
THEY NEED FOR RIGHTOUS INDIGNATION.
THEY NEED FOR FREE SHIT.
THEY NEED FOR KURT COBAIN LIVE AND UNPLUGGED.

FUCK THEM AND THEIR STUPID GOD DAMNNED NEED.
GIVE THEM HELL. *REAL* HELL.
THE KIND DANTE COULD NEVER FATHOM.

BLARGHFKSNSUDBDISJSGEIDKN!!!!!!

[P3nT4gR4m]

Ofuk. Continent ovar! 

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Pixie yeilds unto TGRR the Vestments and Trappings of his Rain God status, and is Joyous at the Resurrection!

I did have them adjusted to fit my bewbs tho...

[LMNO]

And in the 11th month, which is six months and five months, which is 2*3 months and 5 months, the earth did crack in Twain and did belch and purge the contents from within itself.  And behold, in robes besmirched with filth and bile, did TGRR rise up again, rage burning as brightly as the sun from within his breast.

Lo, did he lay waste to the heathen who fled before his presence, crushing them beneath boots crafted from netherwordly beasts only seen in nightmares.  And he shall climb into his jeep, eyes gleaming with divine madness and he shall speak, and say, "I WANT YOUR UGLY.  I WANT YOUR DISEASE.  I WANT YOUR EVERYTHING AS LONG AS ITS FREE.  I WANT YOUR LOVE.  YOU AND ME COULD WRITE A BAD ROMANCE."

[E.O.T.]

Godammit. Don't ever let up Good Reverend.
These fuckers, the one's surrounding me every god damned day, they haven't earned anything less than a NEVERENDING FOUNT OF HATE.

Sure they're HUMAN and UNIQUE and MOTHERFUCKING SPECIAL. And every damned one of them deserves to be shoved into a god damned schute (or HOWEVER ONE MOTHERFUCKING SPELLS THAT WORD) and forgotten.

OR KILL ME OR THEM OR ANYTHING TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE WHAT'S COMING TO THEM.
AND YES I'M DAMNED DRUNK.
BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE *NEED* IN THIS NATION.
THE NEED FOR *WAR*!
THEY NEED FOR RIGHTOUS INDIGNATION.
THEY NEED FOR FREE SHIT.
THEY NEED FOR KURT COBAIN LIVE AND UNPLUGGED.

FUCK THEM AND THEIR STUPID GOD DAMNNED NEED.
GIVE THEM HELL. *REAL* HELL.
THE KIND DANTE COULD NEVER FATHOM.

BLARGHFKSNSUDBDISJSGEIDKN!!!!!!

YOWZERS! ALTY-

          - calling in for the airstrike!!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

And in the 11th month, which is six months and five months, which is 2*3 months and 5 months, the earth did crack in Twain and did belch and purge the contents from within itself.  And behold, in robes besmirched with filth and bile, did TGRR rise up again, rage burning as brightly as the sun from within his breast.

Lo, did he lay waste to the heathen who fled before his presence, crushing them beneath boots crafted from netherwordly beasts only seen in nightmares.  And he shall climb into his jeep, eyes gleaming with divine madness and he shall speak, and say, "I WANT YOUR UGLY.  I WANT YOUR DISEASE.  I WANT YOUR EVERYTHING AS LONG AS ITS FREE.  I WANT YOUR LOVE.  YOU AND ME COULD WRITE A BAD ROMANCE."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

1 And the word of Payne came unto me, saying,

2 Poster of PD, set thy face toward the children of Tucson, and prophesy against them:

3 and say unto the children of Tucson, Hear the word of the Lord Payne: Thus saith the Lord Payne, Because thou saidst, lol, against my sanctuary, when it was profaned; and against the forum of PD, when it was made desolate; and against the board of Apple Talk, when they went into captivity:

4 therefore, behold, I will deliver thee to the children of TCC for a possession, and they shall set their encampments in thee, and make their dwellings in thee; they shall eat thy cactus, and they shall drink thy tears.

5 And I will make the Meatrack a stable for furries, and the children of Tucson a couching-place for flocks: and ye shall know that I am Payne.

6 For thus saith the Lord Payne: Because thou hast danced thy safety dance, and huffed with the jenkem, and rejoiced with all the despite of thy soul against the forum of PD;

7 therefore, behold, I have stretched out my hand upon thee, and will deliver thee for a spoil to the interwebs; and I will cut thee off from the peoples, and I will cause thee to perish out of the wi-fi hotspots: I will destroy thee; and thou shalt know that I am Payne.

8 Thus saith the Lord Payne: Because that Howl and Roger do say, Behold, the board of Apple Talk is like unto all the nations;

9 therefore, behold, I will open the side of Howl from the mad science creations, from his mad science creations which are on his frontiers, the glory of the cactus, Freekys Automatic Boyfriend Machine, The Puppy Cannon, and The Storied Ducati,

10 unto the children of TCC, [to go] against the children of Tucson; and I will give them for a possession, that the children of Tucson may not be remembered among the nations.

11 and I will execute judgments upon Howl; and they shall know that I am Payne.

12 Thus saith the Lord Payne: Because that Roger hath dealt against the board of Apple Talk by taking vengeance, and hath greatly offended, and revenged himself upon it;

13 therefore thus saith the Lord Payne, I will stretch out my hand upon Roger, and will cut off fur and facial hair from it; and I will make it desolate from Taint; even unto Crown shall he be shorn by the sword.

14 And I will lay my vengeance upon Roger by the hand of my people of PD; and they shall do to Roger according to mine anger and according to my wrath; and they shall know my vengeance, saith the Lord Payne.

15 Thus saith the Lord Payne: Because the Arizonianites have dealt by revenge, and have taken vengeance with despite of soul to destroy with perpetual enmity;

16 therefore thus saith the Lord Payne, Behold, I will stretch out my hand upon the Arizonianites, and I will cut off the High Desert, and destroy the remnant of the Normal People.

17 And I will execute great vengeance upon them with wrathful rebukes; and they shall know that I am Payne, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

Payne hands his Wizards Robe and Hat to TGRR, and changes his title.

Very yes.