ITT: Original Sex Toys

[Cramulus]

"Pit and the Pendulum" sex swing


you tie your lover to the bed and hang the sex swing above it

then get onto the sex swing and rock back and forth

slowly at first



building speed



building anticipation






until the hook in the ceiling gives out

[Cramulus]

Many people eroticize Leia's metal slave bikini from Star Wars.

and I agree, that is hot,

but it's a distraction from the room's real erotic centerpiece, this guy:



The product is a little Salacious Crumb that sits on your bedpost and snickers at you, occasionally making inappropriate comments in an alien tongue.




for the exact same experience, you can just invite Marv Albert over for dinner and let things develop naturally.




same fucking guy!

[AFK]

This. 

Very appropriate material for Hump Day. 

[Cramulus]

insert-able dynamite

[Cramulus]

---which in turn creates a demand for TNT condoms

[Jenne]

DAYUM.

on the fread.

And congrats to Eve, of course!

[Cramulus]

Spinning, tit-mounted fireworks



                   
^{note: diagram to scale}

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Shlong Shoes: Shoes with dildos pointing out from the tips; a foot fucking that you won't forget!

Ear Muffs! Like fleshlights that strap on your head so you can actually fuck someone in the ear (or at least tip drill their ear....)

The Deadly Assp: A rubber snake for your anal pleasure!

[Jasper]

Ahem.

Chinese wiener trap.

[Eve]

Ahem.

Chinese wiener trap.

Hehehehe. I'm a fan of this one.

[Jasper]

I would have tried to invent a female equivalent, but I lack the brain damage to even conceive of such a thing.  I leave it in the capable hands of PD.

[Salty]

A time released liquid adhesive that keeps teh lady parts stuck together for a length of time.

Also, mint.

[Richter]

A padded, vibrating cup specifically designed for the testicles, that achieves a firm fit by gently pumping air into an inflatable collar.

Mainstreamed unisex urethra stimulation kit, with mini autoclave for sterilizing the parts.

[Cramulus]

Suddenly, Richter.
Killin' it.

[Cramulus]

New Delicate Touch^TM Panties

It's a pair of panties with microwear foam latex hands hot glued to the inside of it so that you get the sensation somebody is playing the piano on your ladyparts as you walk, also it plays Christmas music.