The CALM Act

[BadBeast]

On the other hand, I don't let machines dictate my actions.  If the TV gets too loud all of a sudden, I will teach it obedience.

Failing that, I may take it out on my cable provider, who actually sets that shit up.

I don't have cable.  I mentioned that without the cable buffer it was an even greater difference in volumes between the shows and commercials.  

I have had my neighbors bang on the wall more than once because I went to the bathroom and a commercial came on so loud.  Which was my point.....

Just turn it up louder then. They'll soon get the message and stop banging. Or you won't be able to hear them over the endless Mantra of "Every Little Helps".

[Adios]

On the other hand, I don't let machines dictate my actions.  If the TV gets too loud all of a sudden, I will teach it obedience.

Failing that, I may take it out on my cable provider, who actually sets that shit up.

I don't have cable.  I mentioned that without the cable buffer it was an even greater difference in volumes between the shows and commercials. 

I have had my neighbors bang on the wall more than once because I went to the bathroom and a commercial came on so loud.  Which was my point.....

Wait a sec.  What country do you live in?

I'm pretty sure the US stopped broadcasting analog TV last year.

With a convertor box digital still works with antenna.

[BadBeast]

Makes no difference. They turn the fuckers up by hand. On their big remote control shopping console.

[LMNO]

On the other hand, I don't let machines dictate my actions.  If the TV gets too loud all of a sudden, I will teach it obedience.

Failing that, I may take it out on my cable provider, who actually sets that shit up.

I don't have cable.  I mentioned that without the cable buffer it was an even greater difference in volumes between the shows and commercials. 

I have had my neighbors bang on the wall more than once because I went to the bathroom and a commercial came on so loud.  Which was my point.....

Wait a sec.  What country do you live in?

I'm pretty sure the US stopped broadcasting analog TV last year.

With a convertor box digital still works with antenna.

Ah, I see.  Carry on.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

... take it out on my cable provider, who actually sets that shit up.

There goes Roger, riding the high wire on the correct motorcycle!

All the better to scatter my "blessings".

Seriously, a bit of legislation to stop them from being annoying cunts IN MY LIVING ROOM isn't half as bad as a few things I just thought up. 

They'll still be annoying cunts, they'll just take a more sneaky route to do so. Sorta like the banks, the government says "You cannot charge stupid overdraft fees!" so now they have new fees aimed at driving out the low income customers that would normally have the overdraft fees. It's like whack-a-mole, except bureaucracy slows it down to whacking one mole every 10 minutes.

Especially given that Comcast is also really big on trying to claim ownership of the interbutts, despite the fact that all they are is an ISP.

Different issue, but a far more concerning one IMO.

[Whatever]

On the other hand, I don't let machines dictate my actions.  If the TV gets too loud all of a sudden, I will teach it obedience.

Failing that, I may take it out on my cable provider, who actually sets that shit up.

I don't have cable.  I mentioned that without the cable buffer it was an even greater difference in volumes between the shows and commercials.  

I have had my neighbors bang on the wall more than once because I went to the bathroom and a commercial came on so loud.  Which was my point.....

Wait a sec.  What country do you live in?

I'm pretty sure the US stopped broadcasting analog TV last year.

They broadcast in HD now.  NBC, ABC, CBS, CW, PBS and FOX (forgot the FOX fuckers) and a few weird music stations and then the 20 something christian stations (I think they may still be analog) and the HSN can all be received on an HD tv with an HD antenna.

In fact, most of them have extra channels, weather, news, some weird living network something, has cooking and people hiking and local crap.  I get like 20 channels on the antenna.

[Adios]

On the other hand, I don't let machines dictate my actions.  If the TV gets too loud all of a sudden, I will teach it obedience.

Failing that, I may take it out on my cable provider, who actually sets that shit up.

I don't have cable.  I mentioned that without the cable buffer it was an even greater difference in volumes between the shows and commercials. 

I have had my neighbors bang on the wall more than once because I went to the bathroom and a commercial came on so loud.  Which was my point.....

Wait a sec.  What country do you live in?

I'm pretty sure the US stopped broadcasting analog TV last year.

They broadcast in HD now.  NBC, ABC, CBS, CW, PBS and a few weird music stations and then the 20 something christian stations (I think they may still be analog) and the HSN can all be received on an HD tv with an HD antenna.

In fact, most of them have extra channels, weather, news, some weird living network something, has cooking and people hiking and local crap.  I get like 20 channels on the antenna.

If your TV is newer then it has digital capacity without needing a box. Just the older analog ones required the convertor.

[Triple Zero]

S'ok Hoops, condsidering y'all watch what?  The Curling channel 24/7 up there, I'm sure you look forward to the commercials so you don't stab yourself in the fucking eye.

Oh look, your metal disc isn't being swept in front of properly.....

HEY! Curling is fucking awesome and hilarious! Don't diss curling.

Also (haven't read the entire thread yet so this may have been said), but isn't the loudness of commercials sort of similar to the Loudness Wars?

Afaik, they don't just turn up the volume to max with commercials, as there's a maximum amplitude for the audio track, instead they use dynamic range compression and equalizing tricks so they can fit the maximum amount of "loud" in their allocated maximum waveform amplitude.

I think it's good that the government regulates that (our "commercials code commission" does that, even though they're not a legislative body), because it's truly an arms race. If you'd submit a commercial without all those loudness-maximization tricks, just normalized to maximum amplitude, it would be significantly less loud than the commercials before and after it, therefore having much less of an impact. So the advertising companies have to use their loudness tricks, otherwise they're simply less effective. This causes them to get stuck in a vicious cycle where every commercial tries to be the loudest. The actual TV programs in between, however, do not wish to use these loudness tricks, because it completely screws up the dynamics of longer audio tracks, sometimes you want stuff to be not loud, otherwise a whisper would be compressed way up and be just as loud as shouting, TV producers making longer segments of material want to have the ability to use the dynamics of audio for effect.

This is a problem, and it could be voluntarily regulated by the networks, except apparently they don't do that, and IMO it's much more efficient to make all the networks adhere to the same rules by government order.

[BadBeast]

You don't have to scratch very deep to see the inner Luddite!  

Belt loops are a sign of technology destroying our values.

Don't even get me started on zippers.

How about Buttons? Big ass Peg Toggly buttons, made from Mammoth bones or something suitably old school?

[BadBeast]

S'ok Hoops, condsidering y'all watch what?  The Curling channel 24/7 up there, I'm sure you look forward to the commercials so you don't stab yourself in the fucking eye.

Oh look, your metal disc isn't being swept in front of properly.....

HEY! Curling is fucking awesome and hilarious! Don't diss curling.

Also (haven't read the entire thread yet so this may have been said), but isn't the loudness of commercials sort of similar to the Loudness Wars?

Afaik, they don't just turn up the volume to max with commercials, as there's a maximum amplitude for the audio track, instead they use dynamic range compression and equalizing tricks so they can fit the maximum amount of "loud" in their allocated maximum waveform amplitude.

I think it's good that the government regulates that (our "commercials code commission" does that, even though they're not a legislative body), because it's truly an arms race. If you'd submit a commercial without all those loudness-maximization tricks, just normalized to maximum amplitude, it would be significantly less loud than the commercials before and after it, therefore having much less of an impact. So the advertising companies have to use their loudness tricks, otherwise they're simply less effective. This causes them to get stuck in a vicious cycle where every commercial tries to be the loudest. The actual TV programs in between, however, do not wish to use these loudness tricks, because it completely screws up the dynamics of longer audio tracks, sometimes you want stuff to be not loud, otherwise a whisper would be compressed way up and be just as loud as shouting, TV producers making longer segments of material want to have the ability to use the dynamics of audio for effect.

This is a problem, and it could be voluntarily regulated by the networks, except apparently they don't do that, and IMO it's much more efficient to make all the networks adhere to the same rules by government order.

Like the Cold War again. But with Jingles instead of Nukes.
Eta, I say Jingles, I mean fucking maddening little four second headsplinters that you hear three times, then need medicating to stop the viral loop just endlessly repeating in what's left of your mind.

[Cramulus]

S'ok Hoops, condsidering y'all watch what?  The Curling channel 24/7 up there, I'm sure you look forward to the commercials so you don't stab yourself in the fucking eye.

Oh look, your metal disc isn't being swept in front of properly.....

HEY! Curling is fucking awesome and hilarious! Don't diss curling.

Also (haven't read the entire thread yet so this may have been said), but isn't the loudness of commercials sort of similar to the Loudness Wars?

Afaik, they don't just turn up the volume to max with commercials, as there's a maximum amplitude for the audio track, instead they use dynamic range compression and equalizing tricks so they can fit the maximum amount of "loud" in their allocated maximum waveform amplitude.

I think it's good that the government regulates that (our "commercials code commission" does that, even though they're not a legislative body), because it's truly an arms race. If you'd submit a commercial without all those loudness-maximization tricks, just normalized to maximum amplitude, it would be significantly less loud than the commercials before and after it, therefore having much less of an impact. So the advertising companies have to use their loudness tricks, otherwise they're simply less effective. This causes them to get stuck in a vicious cycle where every commercial tries to be the loudest. The actual TV programs in between, however, do not wish to use these loudness tricks, because it completely screws up the dynamics of longer audio tracks, sometimes you want stuff to be not loud, otherwise a whisper would be compressed way up and be just as loud as shouting, TV producers making longer segments of material want to have the ability to use the dynamics of audio for effect.

This is a problem, and it could be voluntarily regulated by the networks, except apparently they don't do that, and IMO it's much more efficient to make all the networks adhere to the same rules by government order.

[Telarus]

Nice points, Trip.

Run your stereo through a hard limiting compressor with a low threshold.


Anyway, before this gets much further, I'd like to point out that there is more to a loud commercial than merely volume.

It's long been known in music production circles that if you play two separate mixes for someone, and the only difference is that mix B is 3dB louder (and you keep that a secret from the listener), they will prefer mix B.  If pushed for a reason why, they will imagine that the EQ is "brighter", or that there's more "energy" in the mix*.

The point being, there's a psychological element at play when the commercials are louder.  It excites the nervous system (which triggers the endocrine system) in ways that a low volume commercial won't.  So the manipulation isn't just "louder so it gets your attention".  The manipulation affects your subconcious in ways you aren't aware of.

Just thought I'd throw that out there.

*Technically, that's true.  There is more acoustical energy when you make it louder.  Doesn't affect the mix itself, though.

I've adapted to the commercial volume thing with a 'mute' reflex (and I close my eyes during some commercials).

The big one that's pissing me off right now is the Google Chrome ad on hulu.

Fucked up memetic tricks that I've pick out so far:

Nice, catchy, upbeat music that only increases in tempo until the final "Ba-DUM', when the Chrome logo is shown.

White background, colored letters. The colors shift (stuttering, but non-random), in the Chrome logo colours, starting with mostly cool, ending with mostly warm.

The words are the beginnings of commonly known phrases, prompting your brain to 'guess the ending for a seratonin reward", much like when you remember the lyrics of a song that has just started.

The phrases start as 5 word phrases (first 3 shown), and as the tempo of the music increases, the phrase length get's shorter, AND the time on screen gets shorter (making your brain really work for those chemical rewards).

After the first few times watching it, I could actually notice my mind falling into these little games. After the third time watching it, I noticed that they'd programmed a final "guess the ending - get chemicals" response with the use of the colors and the ending logo, combined with the music climax.

Classic NLP anchoring. So I've been closing my eyes when it comes up now, but the music is catchy and recognizable enough that my brain began to anticipate the musical climax, since it was already anchored into the Logo/Catchphrase chemical reward cycle.

My new plan (I did this once and it helped):

Shout the damn phrases at the TV, re-hijack my mental flow, and insert a new ending.

What's the 2 word phrase for the Chrome logo that comes after Mish (Mash) and  Topsy (Turvy)?

"FUCK YOU!"

[Triple Zero]

But Hulu is a website, can't you just block the ads?

[the last yatto]

They are the ones who took cigarette ads off of TV

Then they took them off our stamps
http://www.boingboing.net/2011/01/10/time-traveling-cigar.html

[Telarus]

But Hulu is a website, can't you just block the ads?

Nope. They actually nest 2 players, and switch the back-end stream when the commercial comes on (which is why you can sometimes see the first frame of the show that comes "after the break" right before the commercial starts). You can't even mute them via the player (have to use system controls).