ITT: Pickup Lines

[Kai]

"I wish I was DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes."

[Doktor Howl]

"I wish I was DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes."

[AFK]

In case anyone was wondering.  My first three posts featured pictures of pickup trucks. 

RWHN,
Needs to remember blockpages and firewalls next time he starts a thread based on a visual pun. 

[Doktor Howl]

In case anyone was wondering.  My first three posts featured pictures of pickup trucks. 

RWHN,
Needs to remember blockpages and firewalls next time he starts a thread based on a visual pun. 

Figured I'd just look at it when I get home.

[AFK]

Whoops, sorry to ruin the un-funny for you.   

[Adios]

"Can I give your moustache a ride home?"

WINNAH

[Cramulus]

Hello butter dumpling, I see you have two tits, is one for me?


Quickly woman, my face isn't going to thrust itself into your purse!


Are your jeans pregnant? You might want to get into my bathtub before their water breaks.


Can I buy you a drink? Your entire fist looks ravishing.

[Cramulus]

I collect little china dolls, would you like to see a delicious creampie?



Fuck me if this isn't the first time you've heard this, but my face isn't going to slap itself.



Come here often? Or is that a musical restraining order?



what's a spy like you doing in a hot jizz joint like me?



Hey baby, I support anal terrorism.

[Cramulus]

You look educated, when was the last time somebody fingerbanged your face?




do you know how to drive a dump truck? because my ass is killing me.



How about catching a movie and then having an awkward conversation?

[Richter]

::To any woman with chest tatoos::  "Tats for tits, Clarice?"

[Cramulus]

This is my friend Richter, he can say good morning in 11 languages, none of which are spoken on earth.

[Cramulus]

the worst pickup line I've ever used that's actually worked:


Hey ladies. I'm a professor of sexual mathmatics. I'm collecting data for a paper on what would happen if the three of us got all slippery together. Would you like to come downstairs and see my thesis?



This is the worst pickup line that I've used and it hasn't worked:

Sail away with me on my magical flying pirate ship. We'll sail across the sea of love together, the salty spray in our face, until such time as we are both soaking wet.


(she only spoke a little english, the nuances were, sadly, lost on her)

[Cramulus]

are you the dick patrol? Because I am prepared to make a throbbing donation.



Would you like to participate in the jizz lottery? The tickets are scratch and sniff and they only cost a blumkin.



Hey sexy. You wanna come back to my place for a game of Truth or Enema?



I want to warn you in advance, I have two googly eyes glued onto the head of my penis with industrial strength adhesive.



Your dress looks good on you. But it'd look better on me while I talk about my father and weep openly.

[Richter]

CRazyD once read a statistic that 10% of people go to bars for casual sex.  To test this, he offered 10 ladies, with perfect seriousness, casual sex.  #10 said yes.

[Cramulus]

Is it dizzy in here or are the roofies kicking in?

no, I didn't take roofies. I meant for you.





if it's too cold in here, I can invade your personal space with my elbows





Do I know you from somewhere? You look like one of the people in my basement handcuffed to the hot water heater.