ITT: Pickup Lines

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

...the Dutch call it achterschip het lach.

[Cramulus]

Is that bacon in your pocket or have you been giving rimjobs and can I get one?

[Richter]

Your clothes look great casually tossed onto my floor.  I should know, I stole some and put them there.

[LMNO]

"What is that smell!?  Is that you?"

[Adios]

I was listening to your thoughts about what you were going to do to yourself later and I would like to offer my assistance.

[LMNO]

"Do I creep you out, or make you uncomfortable?   ...   Okay, how about now?"

[Adios]

Is it hot in here or do you always smell like you just got laid?

[Richter]

Are you farmiliar with Emily Dickinson?  I only ask because I'd like to see your look of agony.

[East Coast Hustle]

Is it hot in here or do you always smell like you just got laid?

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

"Nice shirt, it'd look better crumpled up on the floor next to my bed"

when that doesn't work

"Nice legs, they'd look better crumpled up on the floor next to my bed"

[Iason Ouabache]

Are you farmiliar with Emily Dickinson?  I only ask because I'd like to see your look of agony.

Classy. 

[Richter]

Are you farmiliar with Emily Dickinson?  I only ask because I'd like to see your look of agony.

Classy. 

If I run into someone who gets it, and reponds smartly, I may as well propose on the spot.

[Mangrove]

It did, in a sense.

The girl it was used on was at the bar with me in a supposedly platonic sense. After that creepo laid that line on her, she grabbed me and started making out with me just so he'd get the hint and fuck off. So it worked for me, just not for him.

Go ECH! 

Of course, the sad post script to the story is that the man who approached your friend was a world class oncologist and surgeon. Had she taken him up on his offer, the colo-rectal cancer would've been discovered earlier.....

TIP: Sometimes the really creepy guy/gal that you couldn't possibly imagine ever having sex with just might save your life!!*


*Heard that from AKK.

[Dimocritus]

You have nice eyes... Can I keep them?

[Brotep]

It did, in a sense.

The girl it was used on was at the bar with me in a supposedly platonic sense. After that creepo laid that line on her, she grabbed me and started making out with me just so he'd get the hint and fuck off. So it worked for me, just not for him.

Go ECH! 

Of course, the sad post script to the story is that the man who approached your friend was a world class oncologist and surgeon. Had she taken him up on his offer, the colo-rectal cancer would've been discovered earlier.....

TIP: Sometimes the really creepy guy/gal that you couldn't possibly imagine ever having sex with just might save your life!!*


*Heard that from AKK.

that would be even worse, because they'd hold it over you

Life-saving creepers are still creepers.

Are you farmiliar with Emily Dickinson?  I only ask because I'd like to see your look of agony.

Classy. 

If I run into someone who gets it, and reponds smartly, I may as well propose on the spot.

Just so long as you don't use Sylvia Plath. That might send the wrong message.