Rant 149: Can You Do That?

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Rant 149
Can You Do That?

"If you never believe the stories others tell you at face value, then why do you adamantly defend the stories you tell yourself about your life? Did you ever think about that? We will help you, but we won't endorse you until you unclog that ailing Pineal Gland and allow it to breathe some life for once. The only sacrifice that We, or Eris, will ever demand of you is your ignorance. Can you do that? Can you slaughter that fattened pig of ignorance that lays within your mind, choking your lifeblood out of you like a cancerous tumor?"
-from the 4th PMM statement

Well, can you? Can you just for one moment stop running around like a crazed headless zombie chicken chasing after every which whim that your corporate sponsors have told you to chase your whole life? Can you stop hating your neighbor just for the sake of hating and take a look around you and learn that that is exactly what the greyface armies and adherents of the conspiracy of normal want you to do? What? You are shocked that they want you to do as they do? (Not hating for reasons, unless it's their reasons. No. They like it when you hate just to hate. It keeps you occupied and easily controlled.) Can you realize the one insight of Robert Anton Wilson that should be burned into your memory, tatooed onto your forehead, and spray-painted across every billboard? You don't even know the one, do you? It goes "Humanity is a giant forced to live in a pigmy's hut. Instead of fighting one another for more space inside, we should be knocking the damned walls down!"

Can you finally sacrifice that one and only thing that Eris has ever demanded you do without...your ignorance? (Well, there is the matter of hot dog buns, but that is in contentious and virulent dispute since the disappearance of that huckster by the name of Malaclypse the Younger.) Can you look past the cliches of this stream of words and extract the message...the meme-destroying implication...the horrible insight that all this time you have been hacking away at your health and spirit in order to get to the advertised brand spanking new experiences that will for once and for all take away that hole inside your heart...that hole that gives you the sense of lack. (That hole, by the way, is simply the memory hole. And you know the cure for it.) Nothing the crowds of DUMB can sell you or offer you is designed to make you feel "real." Why should any of it? If you finally ever felt permanently real, you would stop buying their bottled air.

Instead, can you take the bottled air we give to you hand over fist for free...Gratis...No strings? We of the Discordian Society are here to tell you that you are free, and if you can't seem to walk upright and tell all the corporate-religious-political sponsors to go to hell, then we will continue following you around, pranking the snot out of your cranial space. Is this what you want? Trust me when I say this, we'll give it to you. "Why bother you," you ask? What right do we have to do this? What right do you have to contribute to the greyface takeover of the planet and its resources, all so that you can give yourself the delusion of satisfying your inculcated needs? For some comforts?

Every person who chooses mindlessness over awareness will eventually give to the planet anyway through the dissolution of their bodies. You don't need self-help therapy. You don't need all those plans, religions, and products. You don't need time to find yourself. (Look in a mirror, if you have trouble.) What you need is to divorce yourself from the one thing that keeps you tripping on that social crack that is consumerism. The one thing is, you guessed it, your ignorance. Can you do this? Can you live with the withdrawal that comes afterwards? (Well, shit. Many of us had problems doing that. Which is why we developed all of our silly rituals and games. Simple tools to get us over the hump so that the thought of Eris laughing no longer seems like something scary.)

Hell, if getting off the treadmill of grayness leaves you feeling unfulfilled, imagine how all this time you were wasting yourself buying into it. Perhaps if you just opened up for a moment, you would see that your lack of fulfillment is a lie that was placed into when you were a vulnerable child. (How many thousands of little messages on TV, in books, by teachers, family, friends, enemies, and so on?) If you weren't good enough then, you won't ever be now. They will never say that you are good enough. There will always be something more you need to buy or experience in order to keep up with those dumb ass Joneses. And that is the rub. That is how they do it. How they suck you into their game and get you to think that this game is the only one on the planet. Can you live without this constant push-pull at your most intimate thoughts and desires? If you can't, Eris may just keep nagging you to insanity. Or perhaps we will.

We are here to get you to slaughter your ignorance. Massacre your sense of lack. Sacrifice the need for any more of their crappy food, experiences, religions, teachings, and products. The life after the divorce from ignorance won't be perfect. Hell, no promises are made by any of us in the Discordian Society. (Unlike you-know-who, who promises you the sun and the stars, and never delivers...yet you fall for it every time, no matter how many times it hurts you.) They have told you that their hypertrophied emphasis on order will save you and give you security and all those things you need, yet you still feel like chasing after more. And their order has given what? War, crime, low wage hell, anxiety, social apathy, insecurity, violence, and hatred. Why is that? Can you see through it? Can you learn to use the Eris-given eyes to look around you and figure out what the hell is really going on? (Can you do it before She comes along and decides to say "Ah, Fuck it," and barbecues your pineal gland?)

Can you learn to laugh and be happy without needing the social crack that Greyface tells you is necessary to be fully alive? Can you learn to see through the con-jobs, the advertising, the touts, and the tall promises? (Can you live without bouncing between the high of anticipating the next new shiny product and the low of disappointment when you realize it fails to keep satisfying you?) And now you should know that it's no wonder so many people are developing attention deficit or bipolar disorders. Chaos bubbles up through the cracks...and if She can't do it in Her creatively ordered style, She'll percolate up some disorder through that background haze you call your sub-consciousness.

You can stand up for yourself. Think for yourself. You can live without ignorance. You can fill up the memory hole with the realization of who you are. You can laugh and cry and be happy and sad. You can be human and real without the need for any of what THEY tell you is necessary for being "real." We of the Discordian Society are here to help you in this. (At least it sounds good to us to stick to this story.) You don't have to fight over the damned shiny golden apples of discord that Eris has tossed into Grayface's consumerist feast. She'll give you better than that, if you can learn to know that you deserve better, if you can learn to start giving yourself better.

Can you do that?

November 30th, 2005
-Irreverend Hugh, KSC
PMM Co-Episkopos, Pan-Goddess Diddling Witch of the Coven of Macha, Arch-Deacon and Rabbi of the International Great Discordian Jihad, spokesperson of slack, and covert cohort of the Church of Eris. (And a whole lot of other amusing titles and credentials which may or may not have any relevance, depending on who you are and what you want.)

Day 547 of the DJ

[Cain]

Can I get a fucking "RAH"!

I especially liked this point, though it was mostly seperate from the rest of the rant

Can you stop hating your neighbor just for the sake of hating and take a look around you and learn that that is exactly what the greyface armies and adherents of the conspiracy of normal want you to do? What? You are shocked that they want you to do as they do? (Not hating for reasons, unless it's their reasons. No. They like it when you hate just to hate. It keeps you occupied and easily controlled.)

Its something that has been occupying my mind lately.  I may build on it later, assuming I dont get repetitve strain injury from all the other writing I'm meant to be doing.

[East Coast Hustle]

more midnight propaganda. whee!

[Lord Daddy Lombrosis]

*looks around*

...


*steals the silver platter*

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

*looks around*

...


*steals the silver platter*

Don't matter. It was really made of tin anyway, sucker. We have fifty more where that one came from. Wouldn't you rather have a couple of AKs and a case of hand grenades?

[Lord Daddy Lombrosis]

Don't matter. It was really made of tin anyway, sucker. We have fifty more where that one came from. Wouldn't you rather have a couple of AKs and a case of hand grenades?

I'll take the nades but AKs are too short range for me, I'll stick with my 308.  If they get in AK range I've got a shotgun anyway.

[LHX]

the last two rants were

'why we do this?'
and
'you cant do that'



just an observation

[The seer]

Think of it as a gigantic, rambling, soliloquy where one topic bleeds into the other. the closer together the rants come, the more similar they will be.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Can I get a fucking "RAH"!

I especially liked this point, though it was mostly seperate from the rest of the rant

Can you stop hating your neighbor just for the sake of hating and take a look around you and learn that that is exactly what the greyface armies and adherents of the conspiracy of normal want you to do? What? You are shocked that they want you to do as they do? (Not hating for reasons, unless it's their reasons. No. They like it when you hate just to hate. It keeps you occupied and easily controlled.)

Its something that has been occupying my mind lately.  I may build on it later, assuming I dont get repetitve strain injury from all the other writing I'm meant to be doing.

Fucking RAH!

This is some good shit.

But I think Hugh is wrong about the hate bit.  Hate is necessary.

TGRR,
Is guilty of hate abuse, though.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Can you finally sacrifice that one and only thing that Eris has ever demanded you do without...your ignorance?

Not really.  I prefer to drop my pance, and roll in it.

Besides, Neither "Bob" nor Eris ever actually demanded that, IIRC.

[Zurtok Khan]

Unlike you-know-who

Lord Voldemort?

-Zurtok Kahn

Because he just had to.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Can I get a fucking "RAH"!

I especially liked this point, though it was mostly seperate from the rest of the rant

Can you stop hating your neighbor just for the sake of hating and take a look around you and learn that that is exactly what the greyface armies and adherents of the conspiracy of normal want you to do? What? You are shocked that they want you to do as they do? (Not hating for reasons, unless it's their reasons. No. They like it when you hate just to hate. It keeps you occupied and easily controlled.)

Its something that has been occupying my mind lately.  I may build on it later, assuming I dont get repetitve strain injury from all the other writing I'm meant to be doing.

Fucking RAH!

This is some good shit.

But I think Death to Poultry is wrong about the hate bit.  Hate is necessary.

TGRR,
Is guilty of hate abuse, though.

There's no need to keep abusing your hate. Give it a break. We have goats and alcohol and assorted morans you could abuse. Besides, what did hate ever do to you that you'd want to abuse it? I know...I know...it's an addiction.

Can you finally sacrifice that one and only thing that Eris has ever demanded you do without...your ignorance?

Not really.  I prefer to drop my pance, and roll in it.

Besides, Neither "Bob" nor Eris ever actually demanded that, IIRC.

Sure She did. You didn't get the memo?

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Don't matter. It was really made of tin anyway, sucker. We have fifty more where that one came from. Wouldn't you rather have a couple of AKs and a case of hand grenades?

I'll take the nades but AKs are too short range for me, I'll stick with my 308.  If they get in AK range I've got a shotgun anyway.

AK range > Shotgun range

[B_M_W]

Damn, this was a nice rant. Cuts right to the physicality of the issue, rather than dealing with philosophical semantics. Ridding onesself of ignorance and freeing ones awareness is the key.

~BMW~>

A Wannabe who gets it sometimes.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

There's no need to keep abusing your hate. Give it a break. We have goats and alcohol and assorted morans you could abuse. Besides, what did hate ever do to you that you'd want to abuse it? I know...I know...it's an addiction.


Sure She did. You didn't get the memo?

1.  I find that as I expect less of people, I am less and less likely to erupt in hatred.  I think the last episode taught me enough about people to expect nothing...and so, no anger.

2.  Nope.  Can you send another one, and a TPS page?