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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 119
1
Literate Chaotic / Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« on: Today at 05:08:06 am »
"Nietzsche say: 'One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star'"

EDIT:

"GWAR say: 'Dedicate your life to porn'"

3
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 15, 2018, 04:20:16 pm »
Spinoff/fanfic of The Phantom Tollbooth in which there is strife between the Lethargians and a faction led by the Terrible Trivial

EDIT:
Another idea:

*"Holy Shit"- A mock televangelical program, based on Peter Popoff's pitches for "miracle spring water", in which a preacher preaches and pitches "holy shit", interspersed with testimonies from people who have rubbed the holy shit on themselves or eaten it and thereby been cured of diseases

4
Literate Chaotic / Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« on: August 15, 2018, 03:44:43 am »
"The only thing needed for evil to triumph is for good men to imagine that it exists somewhere"

5
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Weekly Science Headlines
« on: August 08, 2018, 04:21:00 am »
And, in addition to resources and the environment, we also need backup civilizations out of ICBM range so everything isn't wiped out when one of the shitheads in charge of the world hits the big red button

I find it hard to conceive of a nuclear war that would make Earth less habitable than Mars (or the Moon).  Even if you take into account nuclear winter, massive fallout, large sections of geography glassed over, 99% extinction rate, it's not as if nuclear war would actually rip the atmosphere off the planet.  There's a pretty big difference between "if you leave the bunker without protection, you might die of cancer in six months" to "if you leave the base without a space suit, you'll asphyxiate in 60 seconds".

No, I don't think we should go to Mars with any practical objectives in mind.  Someone is going to need to make up some sort of plausible justification to generate the necessary political will, but I doubt the reasons will be legitimate.

I think we should go to Mars just for the lulz.  Humanity needs to get out of the house once in a while, try new things.  We can figure out if there were any tangible benefits afterward.

1000 mT inside of a month kills off EVERYTHING except maybe vent worms.

And we have an ecological crash happening right now.  Wasted resources are wasted.  There's actual work to be done.

What is that figure based on? That's not nearly enough to glass the entire planet, the ice age didn;t kill everything, plenty of animals are resistant to radiation, and most importantly the Chicxulub impact is extimated to have released the equivalent explosive force of 20 million megatons of TNT, with all that entails.

EDIT:
@CN Observer: However, what I said was "civilization" not "life" or even "humans". The survivors of a full scale nuclear war would quickly be reduced to savagery, especially given that the most savage areas of the planet (the flyover states, the third world, etc.) would probably be hit the least hard whereas cities and other bastions of civilization would probably get most of the brunt of it

6
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Weekly Science Headlines
« on: August 08, 2018, 04:11:10 am »




Yeah, honestly, what 1950's science fiction movie did they get that 2030 figure from? Unless of course they didn't specify living humans; I think they could probably get an urn up there.

Sorry I missed this one: whose ruins are on mars?

No, "urn" was correct. The implication being that they'd never get a living human to mars by 2030, but they could cheat and land a cremated body there in a container and say "we got a human to Mars!"

7
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Weekly Science Headlines
« on: August 05, 2018, 10:04:13 am »
And, in addition to resources and the environment, we also need backup civilizations out of ICBM range so everything isn't wiped out when one of the shitheads in charge of the world hits the big red button

8
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Weekly Science Headlines
« on: August 03, 2018, 09:21:33 am »
Why would we skip straight to Mars instead of colonizing the moon first? It seems like a lot of unnecessary extra distance to go for a planet that lacks breathable air and earthlike ravity regardless.

And as for the point of space, I would think that a board as liberal as this one would appreciate the issues of dwindling resources and humanity's effect on the environment. There's a finite amount of copper and iron in the earth's crust and eventually they're all going to be mined out, leaving us in need of a new source. Also, and perhaps more importantly, industry and development are destroying the natural environment on planet earth; but Mars (and the moon, and so on) doesn't have any plants or animals (etc) anyway, so we can pollute it all we want and build on it wherever we feel like

9
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 03, 2018, 12:04:33 am »
*A supervillain compulsively monologues gives away his evil plans and just generally information he probably shouldn't be saying out loud. He can't stop himself. It gets worse and worse. Eventually he resorts to driving a spike into his left temporal lobe

*Cartoon where mythological trickster gods are stars of a Jackass-esque show-within-a-show

*A factory in orbit. Cuts down on transportation time of finished goods and ozone gas produced as a byproduct of whatever this particular factory does becomes a positive boon rather than a pollutant as it is released into the upper rather than lower atmosphere

*A character who is so abusive their cover story is that their spouse "fell down the stairs shaving"

10
Literate Chaotic / Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« on: August 02, 2018, 11:53:58 pm »
"Roger Alan Wade say: 'If you're gonna be dumb you gotta be tough'"

"Bush did 9/11"

"Nothing is true. Everything is dismissable"

"A dong is a man's best friend"

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

"You have sown the wind and will reap the whirlwind"

"Dare to be stupid"

"Workers of the world unite!"

"Wait for the sign, then all prisoners will be released"

"Yog-Sothoth is the key and the gate, and with the gate open the Old Ones shall be"

"They live. We sleep"

"Snoop Dogg say: 'Smoke weed every day'"

"There is no limit to folly"

"Trust no one"

"A new war will bring great change to your life"

"Like climbing a mountain, life gets harder near the end"

"You are contemplating some action which will ruin your credit rating"

"Death conquers all"

"One who has no dignity to start with can never be humiliated"

"Hate is never conquered by hate. Love is conquered by hate."

"Everything is false in some sense"

"Foes long absent are coming back to you"

"With age comes dementia"

"There is nothing better in life than to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women"

"It can always get worse"

"Do not harden your heart, the food will do that for you"

"Never try"

"A positive change will be reverted today"

"A fool and his money are soon elected"

"Lampoon say: 'Whether you can hear it or not the universe is laughing behind your back'"

"There are no solutions, only a choice of problems"

"You are the MSG of the Earth"

"To stand a chance you must defeat Sheng Long"

"You are of your father, the Devil, and what he desires of you ye shall do"

"It's all downhill from here"

"You have the death curse now"

"You are forever cursed"

"Even a man who is pure of heart and says his prayers by night may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright"

"As you value your life or your reason keep away from the moor"

"Tonight you will get your dick ripped off" (fortune seen on Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

"Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity" (fortune cookie seen on Rocko's Modern Life)

"Better is the end of a thing than it's beginning"

"Duty is the thief of time"

"Responsibility is the thief of time"

"Commitment is the thief of time"

"Nothing excels like excess"

"As the rain enters the soil, and the river enters the sea, so tears run to a predestined end"

"Why so serious?"

"Cleanliness is next to impossible"

"Shit is thicker than water"

"Upset the established order and everythig becomes chaos"

"Some men just want to watch the world burn"

"Madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push"

"Here is wisdom! He who is having the understanding, let him count the number of the beast, for the number of a man it is, and its number is six hundred and sixty six."

"The meek shall inherit nothing"

"You will witness a murder"

"Masturbation is a present you give yourself"

"A thrilling crime is in your near future"

"If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get nothing"

"Something you hid will soon turn up"

"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams"

EDIT:

"If you push something hard enough it will fall over"

"They say a man can only be alone for so long before the man's mind is gone"

"Anyone who can live without society is either a beast or a god"

EDIT:

"It's later than you think"

EDIT:

"Your corpse will be misidentified"

EDIT:

"It is better to be called a crazy hoarder and not need than to need and not have"

EDIT:

"The person closest to you is more dangerous than you think"

EDIT:

"Chairman Mao say: 'Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed.'"

"Chairman Mao say: 'It is right to rebel'"

"Chairman Mao say: 'Strategically we should despise all our enemies, while tactically we should take them all seriously.'"

"Chairman Mao say: 'If you have to shit, shit! If you have to fart, fart! You will feel much better for it.'"

"Chairman Mao say: 'Maybe you're afraid of sinking. Don't think about it. If you don't think about it, you won't sink. If you do, you will.'"

11
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 02, 2018, 07:49:01 pm »
Slash fic of the old spice guy and the dos equis guy

12
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: August 02, 2018, 04:39:46 pm »
Mike Pence and Jared Kushner used private email for whitehouse business; a practice that the Republican party claimed to be opposed to when Hillary did it.

13
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 02, 2018, 09:09:09 am »
Misc Ideas:

*Conspiracy theory: Space aliens gave the Atomic Bomb to the allied powers. Sort of an updated version of aliens-built the pyramids. I for one find the fact that the first atom bomb was built using 1940's technology to be much more fantastical than the fact that the ancient egyptians were able to pile one rock on top of another using only ancient egyptian technology

*Skit about a televangelist faith healer where all the people coming up to be healed have vulgar afflictions like diarrhea or foot odor or herpes or erectile dysfunction

*On a related note, a televangelist themed porno: "What afflicts you jy brother" "I can't maintain an erection" "let me touch your penis and you will be healed" etc

*Society of anthropomprphic sea squirts which fears adulthood - equating it with death - as many types of sea squirts lose their brains after metamorphosis

14
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: August 02, 2018, 01:54:06 am »
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/death-threats-flood-auto-shop-where-immigrant-girl-hid-after-escaping-detention-center/ar-BBLidwW?ocid=spartanntp

Quote
"Look, we gave this girl water, offered her food; I treated her as my own daughter," Gonzalez said. "I explained to her that the police want to 'make America great again' by uniting her with her family, but for that to happen, she needs to cooperate."

He added: "We live in a country with laws, laws I had to follow, even if it breaks my heart."

Oh my god... that last bit sounds like something out of the villain's monologue from A Few Good Men

15
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: July 31, 2018, 09:01:15 am »
Two more ideas:

*The reason we never see the creatures' body in tentacle porn is because they're related to that species of octopus with a detachable penis-tentacle: http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/octopus-has-detachable-penis/

*Combination of the Mouse Utopia Experiment and the Fall of the Eldar

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