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Topics - Doktor Howl

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Apple Talk / Hate Letters Again
« on: March 07, 2018, 02:25:57 am »
I am running contests on FB and awarding a hate letter to the winners.  Last night was a tie between Jake (our very own Cainad), and Colby Dykes, for doing the best imitations of me.

Their letters:

Dear Jake,

I’ve been reading your “work”, and I have to say that nobody is impressed by a geography degree.  I mean, who CARES if you can tell us what the capital of Oslo is?  And of COURSE they have rocks.  That’s *all* they have, really, unless you count ice, lutefisk, and hilarious death metal bands.  What kind of job do you even get with that sort of degree?  Working the desk at the Department of Telling People WHAT?

What’s more, you live in a horrible East coast location where nobody WANTS to know where anything is.  I mean, being the guy at the party that knows where South Attelboro is isn’t going to get you laid.  No.  It is NOT punk, and you will eventually wind up marrying a Norwegian lady that has a pull-start strap-on named “Dongzilla”.  And may God have mercy on your soul.  Assuming You People even have one.

The way I see it, you have spent too much time with that Professor Cramulus fellow, and this has led you to a series of poor choices in both your career and in your personal hygiene.  He’s been playing you, and you’re just going to be another patsy in his nefarious schemes…And when Richter shows up looking annoyed with pterodactyl shit all over his brand-new hat, guess who’s taking the fall?  That’s right. You.  And there will be no use in crying at that point.  He will not listen to any sob stories about you being led astray by malevolent New Yorkers.  He will just snatch you up by the back of your pants and that’s the last we’ll ever hear from you.  And thank God for that.

I may sound hostile; I am.  We here in God’s Country have had it up to HERE with You People with your “ethical science” and your “culture” and your “air”.  We have had it with your superior attitude just because you have the population density of Kyoto and access to an endless supply of badly-pixilated Gandhi bukkake.  (An aside:  Word now recognizes the word “bukkake”, and I am inclined to blame you guys for this.  Jerks.)

No, we long for the good old days, back before you liberal freaks made everything so damn fuzzy.  When men were men and cowboy love was nothing to be ashamed of.  When every man was a Benito, and every woman an Imelda, and all the dinners on time!  When the only drugs we needed were bourbon and smack, and people. When kids were fungible farm machinery and you could steal the only book you ever needed from the local church.

We are a simple people up here, and we don’t need your Goddamn patchouli stink.

Venomously yours,


Dear Colby,

Billy and I have discussed things, and while we have to – literally – deal with a lot of shit in the course of our duties, we have never before even discussed a piece of shit like you.  You are unique.  You are the human equivalent of multi-colored dog poop, and that is not even mentioning your *breath*.

I suppose it cannot be helped; you live in Trump central, the clearing house for shit-eating po’buckers who managed to lay down the crack pipe long enough to vote for the human-shaped corruption that infests the white house.  Why would they do such a thing, effectively killing themselves off?

Because it’s rural Illinois.  YOU know you’re bad for the species, just as WE know you’re bad for the species.  You are, collectively, a giant sack of double-recessive genes and fetal alcohol syndrome shambling around the WalMart parking lot looking for cigarette butts that still have a quarter inch of unused tobacco, or maybe just a slightly-used discarded fleshlight upon which to slake your unnatural lusts. 

People like you are a blight on civilization, and probably the most damning thing about our society, aside from maybe the Cronut.  There isn’t an unmolested house pet within 50 miles of Danville, and the livestock flee at your approach.  They know, Colby, THEY KNOW.

This is why you are called “flyover country”.  And not just by us NORMAL people, but also aliens.  We have been in contact with the grey bastards for YEARS now, only we don’t let them know about you, sort of like you don’t let people outside of your trailer park know about your cousin Merle who is due to get out of the state penitentiary any day now, at least for as long as he can refrain from indulging in his ethylene glycol habit.  The aliens are already nervous around us (something about species that set nukes off in their own atmosphere), and God only knows what they’d do if they learned about YOU.  They’d probably steer a gigantic asteroid at us…At the VERY least, they’d stop making porn.

And you DON’T want to get in the way of our grey porn.  No.  You can elect Trump, you can get your filth all over Iowa (who cares?), and you can make crappy pizza, but you do not stand between NORMAL people and their perfectly healthy curiosity about grey booty.


Love & kisses,

Tonight's contest is the best new slur aimed at Donald Trump.

Techmology and Scientism / A little horror from my reading list.
« on: March 06, 2018, 03:56:14 am »
Funny thing is, although the damage from the rising water will be a festival, they don't talk about the effects of the change in alkalinity (ie, the bleaching of the Great Barrier Reef).

Apple Talk / I just realized something.
« on: February 10, 2018, 02:44:28 am »
The birth of the United States was not on July 4th, 1776.  It was at 5:29 a.m. on July 16, 1945.

At 5:28 a.m. we thought we could do anything.  At 5:29, we knew we could.  And for good AND for ill, every single thing we've done has been based on that horrible & certain knowledge.  And our attitude (and our arrogance) follows, with some justification.

This is the only version of American history that both fits all of the facts, and explains the utter madness of the Current Weird Times™.

Apple Talk / A short collected list of things I learned in 2017.
« on: February 09, 2018, 02:57:55 am »
Things I learned in 2017:

1.  If you get hit in the head hard enough, Nikki Minaj shows up and offers you advice and encouragement.
2.  If you "reinvent yourself" into exactly what you already were, you save loads of effort.
3.  "You look like SHIT" is a good go-to phrase when you don't know what to say.
4.  When you take things far enough, all fanaticism is the same.
5.  Echo chambers make psychopaths.
6.  There is no bottom; when you think you have in fact hit bottom, it's just a chunky bit and beyond that are just more chunky bits.  This is true in sanitation systems, the internet, and damn near anything else.
7.  Orton Nenslo was an optimist, but that shouldn't get you down.  You, too, can be a bitter optimist.
8.   Even "Bob" never promised us THIS weird shit.
9.   Gaslighting isn't what it used to be.
10.  Music is way better now than it was when I was a teenager.

Apple Talk / Attention Mr the Professor Cramulus
« on: February 08, 2018, 05:51:21 am »
Since I'm in the FB bighouse, I shall have to share this with you here.

Apple Talk / The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« on: February 08, 2018, 03:41:33 am »
Okay, so the Good Doktor is just getting over a 6 day bout with the flu, in which I crapped my own body weight and killed the local sanitation department.  In a fit of stupidity, I decided that the best thing to do on day 6 was stop having Jenn stick me with IVs and instead dose up on Imodium.  Just in time for the shits to stop on their own, mind you, with the predictable result. 

Dok hasn't shat in 40 hours, and nothing good can come of this.  I've drank so much water that my throat is raw from chlorine, and STILL NOTHING.  It's just all LURKING there.

I mean, eventually, the spirit is gonna move me, and I can't be held responsible for the results.

Blame Janssen Pharmaceutica.  I'm the VICTIM, here.

Literate Chaotic / MOVED: I Fall
« on: February 02, 2018, 03:08:49 am »

Apple Talk / The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: November 15, 2017, 01:33:15 am »
Sep. 4
A quote from an email my boss sent me:
"You reek of non-compliance."

Sep. 11
Things I said in conversation today:
1. How much for just 13 megawatt hours?
2. There is no dancing in the 13,800 VAC cable room. Why do I even have to say this?
3. This is like watching the Titanic back up for another run at the iceberg.
4. All this needs to be perfect is 10 pounds of glitter fished out of raver ass crack.

Sep. 13
Today I drove home at 5 MPH slower than the speed limit in the left lane, with my right turn signal on the entire time.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, so don't ask.

Sep. 13
Things I said at work today:
1. "We're going to do great things. For bad people."
2. "Budgets are for people who worry about budgets."
Sep. 14
Things I said at work today:
1. "If you stick that in there, you probably won't get it back."
2. "He's Jesus the Son of Man, not Jesus the IT guy. Fuck's sake."
3. If the Thai place outside of the facility closes, one of you has to die."

Sep. 15
Things I said at work today:
1. "Okay, no, you're right. The magical maintenance fairy will come along and fix that shit for free. No worries."
2. "Yes, actually I DO have to be a smartass."
3. "Does being realistic make my ass look big?"

Sep. 18
Our religious nut engineer is apparently a genius. He waits til the technicians solve a problem, then investigates it, writes up the solution the techs found, and presents it as "solved". The only reason he's still got all his limbs is that he does in fact credit the techs, if you read the footnotes and squint really hard.
Sep. 21

Things I said at work today:
1. (In the morning staff meeting) "According to physics, work done is a net result. If you carry a 50 pound block up the stairs, then take it back down the stairs, you have done no work. Think about that while you do the same wrong-headed, tired-ass shit you have done for the last 6 months."

2. (To the new database admin lady) "If you see the engineer crying in his office, don't get too concerned. He's a bad person and whatever happened to him is probably well-deserved."

3. (To Billy) "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."

Sep. 22
Things I said at work today:
(To Billy) "I have added you to the safety committee, Billy. This is a position of great trust, and I expect you to shine. Just remember, the one who leaves the meeting with the most 'action items' wins."
(To My boss) "Yes, I just did that to Billy. But he has to LEARN. Right down in his bones. The fact that he believed that it was a position of great trust means that he has loads of learning to do."

Sep. 26
Things I said at work today:
(To Billy) "See that contractor technician working on that chiller? See how hard he works? I knew him back in 2005, and he was a tech back then, working just as hard. 12 years later, he's still a tech, still working hard. He will work hard his entire life and he will still be a tech."
(To one of my electricians, later on at the staff meeting) "You should work harder. It will take you farther in life."
(To Billy): "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Sep. 27
Things I said at work today:
(To Billy) "Yes, I did do that. You see, Billy, it's just us against entropy, really. Nobody else on the planet is even LOOKING at this mess, so it's up to us. Arguably, I didn't have a choice...Because how do you fight entropy? With monstrous deeds. Besides, I won't be lectured on morality by a guy who ran over someone's tiny home, so zip it."

Sep. 28
(Speech to working group today. Never ask me to give a speech.)
"Good morning. I am about to say impolite things.
But we are not here to be polite. We are not here to keep the customer happy. The customers hate us, and that is right and proper. The customers are seven and a half billion monkeys that insist on smoking three packs of cigarettes a day for thirty years, and we are the societal equivalent of an oncologist. We present solutions that *might* save them, but it will be very painful and we will charge them a lot of money.
The world of commerce is strange and terrible, and so I don't want you to think about commerce. I want you to think about pseudomonas and plastic microfibers in the tap water. I want you to think about sanitation overload. I want you to think about too much water everywhere, and none of it fit to drink. Commerce is a social fiction; cholera is real.
I am here to tell you today that government is not the solution. The market is not the solution. I am here to tell you that there *is no solution*, because those cancer monkeys will take the medicine we give them, and go on smoking cigarettes. Because people are stupid, and organized groups of stupid humans are just organized, efficient stupidity.
Which brings up another point: I do not want to see "efficiency" stinking up my facility. Efficiency is for people with diploma-mill MBAs, libertarians, and other parasites. Efficiency has never solved a problem in the entire history of the human race. Efficiency makes processes more profitable, but we are not in the business of processes. We are in the business of extracting money from cancer monkeys. They give us money, we give them ways to clean just enough water to live long enough to have more monkeys. You can see why, given this built-in advantage, efficiency is both unnecessary and in fact contrary to our interests.
Let me say this again: There is no room for efficiency in infrastructure analysis.
In closing, I don't want anyone to worry about the truck load of missiles that drove in circles in our parking lot for twenty minutes last night. That was just a shipping error on the part of one of our clients, and has been rectified.
That is all. You may now return to your labors."

Sep. 28
Your universe is defective.
A proper universe would imply that a species that gained enough intelligence to have some sort of sense of self-interest wouldn't care about things like national "pride", race, or even making weapons specifically designed to wipe themselves out entirely.
It would probably also have great big Goddamn lizards stomping around. Because that would be kind of cool, too.

Sept. 29
Things I said at work today:
(To my boss) "This ain't your grandpa's apocalypse."
(To Billy) "Can you get me the numbers for cholera in Thailand right now? Also typhoid and psuedomonas. And infant mortality for the last 4 years. How about pizza for lunch?"
(To new database admin lady) "Stop worrying about Billy. He'll come around. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Oct. 3
So, bad 60s dancing to "Everybody Talks" in my office with my boss, Billy, and the Occupant Services lady. New database admin lady walks to office door. Stops. Stares.
Dances the Watusi.
She stays.
Oct. 4
So Billy and I come rolling back up to the plant in the truck. Seats back, hand on top of steering wheel, all pimped out with Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" bumping on the stereo.
My boss and new database admin lady just stared at us like we were some kinda weird bird, for reasons that escape me.
Oct. 5
Today's test run: Horrible failure. Plant off line. Chillers very over. Sewage treatment plant flooded. I think my office sank. Nobody has seen Billy in hours, religious engineer guy has locked himself in his office, and the coyotes are circling like hammerhead sharks.
This is what SCIENCE looks like.
Oct. 6
Today was like watching the future sail away on a burning camel.

Oct. 6
My boss: *yells at me for 2 HOURS.*
Me: "You're wrong."
My boss: "..."
Me: "That's an alarming shade of purple"

Oct. 6
Billy: "If you knew the world was ending, and there was no way to prevent it, would you tell anyone?"
Me: "I'd tell EVERYONE."

Oct. 14
Giraffes can't enjoy coffee because it's cold by the time it reaches their stomach. But you never think about that, because you only think about yourself.

Oct. 16
At work today:
Billy: "Matter tells space how to bend, and space tells matter how to move."
Me: "You know what tells me how to move?"
Billy: "No, and I don't..."
Me: "Devine. You know what tells me how to bend?"
Billy: "Stop."

Oct. 17
14.5 hours of nonstop WrongScience™, because the world is delivered to your doorstep by terrible deeds. And exhaustion.
Little Billy fell out at 12 hours, because he is young, and the young are weak, and they cannot concentrate without blood sugar. I, on the other hand, am made out of scabs and scar tissue, and can live for 3 days on a rat that I swallowed whole.

Oct. 19
Today at work:
Boss: "I have to go, so as soon as <horrible maintenance emergency> is over, I'm out of here."
Me: "You should go now. This is going to take hours."
Boss: "I can't, because <horrible maintenance emergency>"
Me: "And what are you going to accomplish here? Do you think we are somehow not going to do our best if you leave?"
Boss: "No, but..."
Me: "Go. You can text me or call me if it starts bugging you."
Boss: "Okay." *leaves*
*Billy walks in*
Me: "Billy, hold my cell phone for the next two hours."
Billy: "What? Why?"
Me: "Don't question it. If the boss calls, tell her you're trapped in the rubble."
Oct. 20
I now have 5 petabytes of storage at work, so you are all being moved into it.
I shall be a kindly overlord.
Oct. 23
My workplace is careening off into insanity. Today I was told the safety committee will be deciding what critical spare parts I need to stock in the plant.
At this point, I'm just riding the roller coaster. Which is on fire. And has run out of tracks.
"This is normal, Billy."
Oct. 24
Billy is pretending to be horrified by my behavior today. He's such a kidder.
"This is all normal, Billy."
"No, it's not, boss. That was totally out of line. You had people screaming at you in Polish."
"They made unreasonable demands, and I felt something should be said."
"You called them mental defectives. AND you scared Mister Rogers" (Note: our safety manager looks exactly like Mr Rogers, and acts like him for the most part.)
"Harsh times, Billy, harsh times."
"You can't make Mr Rogers hide in his office, Sam. For God's sake."
"I can. I did. I felt my point needed to be driven home."
"You're crazier than those Polish dudes, you know that?"
*stops walking and looks at Billy for like 2 seconds too long*
"This is all normal, Billy."
Oct. 25
Things my boss said:
"I have been training my entire life to even, and now I can't."

Oct. 25
America, you can rest easy during these turbulent times. Billy and I are working on a set of solutions. With actual SCIENCE™. So everyone stop screaming and send more funding.

Oct. 26
15 straight hours of SCIENCE. Work successful, probably no actual laws broken. Excerpt from 90 minutes ago:
Me "Wake the hell up, Billy."
Me: "You aren't paid to think, Billy, you are paid to spill science on things."
Me: "Having a life is like STEALING FROM THE COMPANY, BILLY. Also, if this is just work to you, you aren't being paid enough, or you're being paid way too much. Anyway, go home, I will finish up."
Billy: "FUCK. Thanks."
Me: "See you at 5:30 AM."
Billy: "Wait. What?"
Me: "Good night, Billy."

Oct. 28
17 hours of adventure. Sam spent an hour crawling through a utility tunnel with a flashlight in his teeth. Sam's boss wants to know why he's so happy than only 5 breakers failed on restart.
Me: "When you don't service substations for 5 years, shit sometimes doesn't come back on like you think it ought to."
Boss: "So we're down a chiller, a well, an air compressor and a half dozen instruments, and you're HAPPY?"
Me: "You take your victories where you find them, boss."
Boss: "WTF?"
Billy: "This is all normal, boss."
I love Billy. Billy needs a raise, and maybe even a day off. Well, maybe just a raise. No need to get all carried away.

Oct. 28
I live in the Sonoran desert and somehow I have gone 72 hours without seeing the sun.

Oct. 31
Our religious engineer got a new bumpersticker that says "Legalize Jesus."
Me: "I think they should legalize beer, too."
Engineer: "Beer is legal."
Me: "But people don't have to drink it, which is almost like making it illegal. People run around drinking whiskey, even."
Engineer: "That's hardly the same thing."
Billy: "Some freaks even drink hard cider."
Me: "It's like this isn't even AMERICA, anymore."
Engineer: "Fuck you guys."
Billy: "You just swore. For like the first time ever. You're ADORABLE."
Nov. 1
Tips on dealing with treachery on the part of your direct reports, #312:
Keep them too busy to plot effectively. Make necessary improvements to systems only when they get comfortable with said systems, if the changes can wait that long.
If you MUST communicate, tell everyone the information in a slightly different format, so you'll know who ratted you out to the boss.
Nov. 2
Things I said at work today, with my bare face hanging out:
1. "I told you those bugs [sulfur reducing bacteria] were gonna get out of control. You just stand there while we shame you, you soggy bastard."
2. "Yes, I do have to get lippy about it. I warned you about this for 6 months. I have to go shit, so Billy will be shaming you in my place."
3. "Who's afraid of Doktor Howl? Fucking nobody."

Nov. 4
17 hours of NOPE. No, you cannot do that, because of basic physical laws. No, put Billy down, he has some admittedly marginal value and I have no time to interview his replacement. No, if your project is now flat, slightly radioactive, and smoldering, you are not getting additional funding, and you should probably start the whole plausible denial thing now. Nope, I am not father confessor at this pay rate, and I am utterly uninterested in your horrible woes or slightly criminal/unethical behavior and the consequences thereof.
Go ahead and complain to my boss. I'm the EASY option, and SHE will frame your bits and hang them in the conference room.
Nov. 6
Things I said at work today:
*Billy and I watching a guy in <corporation X>'s lab coat walking down the middle of the road in a trance-like state*
Billy: "We should call someone."
Me: "Yep. Gonna call <corporation X> security and have this guy collected up."
Billy: "Shouldn't we maybe call the paramedics?"
Me: "Have you never watched a horror film? Or an epidemic scare flick?"
Billy: "But this is real life."
Me: "Yes, Billy, and that is *exactly* why I am doing what everyone in those horror films SHOULD have done. 500 needless deaths a year would be prevented if people just followed protocol."
Billy: "You just made that number up."
Me: "Yes, but it's still true."
Nov. 6
So today I learned that not only do I have to give Billy a day off every 13 days, but I have to take one myself.
How the hell is shit supposed to get done?
Nov. 7
Billy: "So you're being investigated by the safety department for *following* both the law and the IEEE best practices?"
Me: "This is all normal, Billy."

Nov. 9
So, I am under investigation at work for *following* code & IEEE standards, and the two weasels who initiated it managed to pull the sole controlling meter out of a tank without isolating the process equipment, dumping a few dozen thousand gallons of potable water onto the desert, and by sheer luck alone managed to not smoke the pumps, which are at the bottom of 500 foot shafts. I am not allowed to name them in the incident investigation, because "no regulations were violated" (except every single OSHA rule on energy isolation, and county, state, and federal rules on containment, but who's counting?)
I am now actively looking for another job.

Nov. 14
Okay, so Billy and I are looking at this jockey pump that keeps pressure up on a few larger pumps. It's pumping from a tank system at 200 gallons per minute, for 8 hours or so a day.
Problem: None of the tank levels are going down. We checked, both in the system, and by physically climbing up on the tanks and looking in to verify their levels.
Billy: "I think we should quit, this place is haunted."
Me: "Nonsense. This is just one of those reality cracks we have in Tucson from time to time. Water is probably just leaking in from another universe."
Billy: "Or water is somehow getting back into the tank."
Me: "There are no other ways for water to get in. Look."
Billy: "Okay, haunted. We should quit."
Me: "People sometimes PAY for this kind of shit, you know."
Billy: "I didn't. This is spooky, and I don't like it. Who ordered this?"
Me: "This is all nor..."
Me: "This is all ftang, Billy."

Apple Talk / Well, that's that.
« on: October 12, 2017, 05:53:28 am »
Killed that bastard by drowning him in vape juice and some public ridicule and, of course, a bunch of bullets.  Buried him shallow this time, so the coyotes get him.  No more "rolling the stone back" for that piece of shit.  When we crucify someone, they should by God STAY dead.

Now, while I've been gone,   :lol:  You.  :lol: You elected Donald Trump.    :lol: :lol: :lol:

And now you're sorry and you wish it had never happened.  But there's Nazis that look more like particularly weedy frat boys running around, and that Milo Dropbottom fellow, and you've had to rely on overweight Magic, The Gathering players in hoodies to keep them away.

Well, the Good Doktor is back, and he has a terrible prescription.  We might cure you of your problems, but it will be very painful and we will charge you lots of money.  We will not be taking sincere advice as currency, nor righteous indignation, nor even your sincere belief in your atheism.  Not bit coin, nor your dodgy-looking electronic transfers.  NO.  We will accept only your CHEAP LAUGHS.  We place particular value on the rising kind of laughter that ends badly for everyone, especially the cleaners.

Property values may tank.  That's a risk we here at SHUT UP, Inc are willing to take.

So tomorrow, bad advice for a bad nation.

Okay for now,

Aneristic Illusions / Cain, help me with the plot, here.
« on: September 08, 2015, 01:04:44 am »
Okay, so when the Afghanistan war stared, the Taliban were burning poppy fields, and we didn't give a fuck about those fields.

But sooner or later, that opium money becomes necessary to fund the larger battle.  Within a few months, everyone eats the menu, and the war is itself ABOUT the opium.  Just like every other Asian war in the last 500 years.

Is this accurate?

Apple Talk / What did YOU learn on Facebook today?
« on: August 13, 2015, 11:56:36 pm »
I learned that herpes doesn't have any symptoms in women.   :lulz:

Apple Talk / Normal
« on: August 06, 2015, 06:59:35 pm »
I am a hideous & vile old man.  I am in fact so old that the Earth's population doubled in my lifetime.  Get that around your noodle...An extra 3.7 billion people in less than half a century.  I remember the world as not being so crowded, and I remember correctly.  When I was a boy there were fish in the ocean and turnip trees on the land, as far as the eye could see.

But having seven and a half billion people is the New Normal.

Humans are really good at compartmentalizing stuff.  Nigel could probably give you biological reasons for this, using words that sound made up but sadly aren't, but let's break it down in layman's terms.  When stress gets too awful, when the boogieman is coming out from under the bed with your tax records in his teeth, when your nation is eating itself and howling through mouthfuls of its own skin that it is still strong...The angel of apathy comes along and whacks you upside the head.  All these things are now Normal.  They are part of the routine, and are less stressful.  Or at least you can ignore the stress, at least until it's time to buy an AR15 and join the folks jabbering about Jade Helm.

Manufactured Normalcy.  It's not really a new concept.  How many times have you heard some horrible new band that makes you want to smash your car into a wall?  Everyone hates those guys.  But the radio plays them and plays them, MTV gets some brain-damaged kids to scream on TRL, and suddenly the horrible band is just another part of the scene.  This is how Fallout Boy happens.  Neuroscience is a strange and frightening thing, and not for the likes of you and I.  Unless you're the kind of person that gets off on slicing up thousands of snake brains.

Manufactured Normalcy is also how people like Rick Santorum and Donald Trump can run for president and have 47% of the country keep a straight face.  After all, once you've voted for Palin, you're pretty much at rock bottom, may as well go for broke.  It is how the TSA can now grab your junk for no reason and you just gotta stand there and smile.  It's how police can just start murdering people for any reason or no reason at all, and the outraged masses will...Well, they'll LIKE and they'll SHARE and they'll TWEET, but as mad as they get, it's now NORMAL, so that's all they're gonna do.  Get mad.  Not the clean, white-hot anger of the superior mutant, but the sickening, ulcer-inducing anger of a person who HAS gotten mad as hell, but IS gonna take it some more.  Not because they're cowards, but because that's the way it is

This is The Machine™.  It turns out there never were clattering treads and grindy choppy horrible spiky bits.  Well, actually there were.  But that's to be expected.

Or Kill Me.

Apple Talk / It never fails to amaze me.
« on: August 04, 2015, 05:10:31 am »
People will tie themselves in a knot to avoid being wrong.  Had some guy telling me people didn't live past 30 in the middle ages.  Absolute rubbish.  I posted links demonstrating that people who survived past age 11 most often lived until age 55 (peasants) or 65 (rich folks), but the infant mortality rate of 33% (!!!) skews life expectancy numbers for the period.

Now I have them saying "people didn't know their own ages back then", and were obviously making things up to fool historians of later ages.


I've been there.  Most people have.  It's like the old monkey trap, where the monkey reaches into a jug for a piece of fruit, then can't bring his fist out without dropping the fruit.  So the monkey sits there, railing about how unfair the fruit is being, until someone comes along and rounds the monkey up for medical experimentation. 

There comes a time you just gotta let go of the fruit.

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