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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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1
Best Trump apologist of the week:

Quote
Yeah, he sucks, but he has the jobs and we need to stop the bleeding.

This was some mullet-wearing freak in Mobile talking to Navkat.

Hahaha, what?

It doesn't mean anything; the person who said it is just insane. It's a pjenomenon called "word salad"

2
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: September 01, 2015, 04:32:07 am »
A group of monks takes a vow to eat nothing but twinkies (and other junk foods?) for the rest of their lives, citing John 6:27 ("Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.), and to a lesser degree Matthew 15:11 ("A man is not defiled by what enters his mouth, but by what comes out of it") as their inspiration

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Another idea:

A heavy metal song in which the singer expresses his approval of the fact that the sky has begun to rain blood-slicked guts with no apparent explanation

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EDIT:

Another idea:
Romeo and Juliet reimagined as being about the Elder Gods and Great Old Ones.

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EDIT:

Another idea:

A mockumentary series with a premise in the vein of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous or MTV Cribs but dedicated to mythological homes of deities and legendary heroes. Places like Mount Olympus, Valhalla, Camelot, Dobbstown, Shangri-La/Shambhala, the New Jerusalem spoken of in Revelation, et cetera..

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EDIT:

Another idea:

A zombie apocalypse story set in mythological Mesopotamia. It starts out with an abbreviated version of tablets 1 through 5 of the Epic of Gilgamesh, but in tablet 6 Anu rejects Ishtar's demand that he send the bull of heaven against Gilgamesh, and in anger Ishtar makes good on her threat to smash the doors of the underworld and "bring up the dead to eat the living", leaving Gilgamesh and Enkidu to instead have to deal with a zombie horde overrunning Uruk.

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EDIT:

Another idea:
An acappella heavy-metal album. No electric guitars, no drums, just deep-voiced shout-singing about mutilation and the devil.

3
Literate Chaotic / Re: Five word horror
« on: September 01, 2015, 12:54:34 am »
Why won't my mouth open

4
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 30, 2015, 08:39:48 pm »
It is discovered that the devil has been hiding language in End User License Agreements granting him the licensees' souls.

5
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 29, 2015, 02:12:12 am »
An angry movie critic (or possibly an dissatisfied californian democrat wishing to sabotage the republicans) sends a robot back in time to stop Arnold Schwarzenegger from starring in The Terminator but winds up inspiring the movie to be made.

In the sequel (provided we go with the movie critic version) they go back themself to try to stop Twelve Monkeys from being made.


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EDIT:
Another idea:
-Thanks to rampant genetic engineering of animals, the future is less like The Jetsona than it is like The Flintstones



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EDIT:
Yet Another idea:
-A bizarre porno about a person who gets sex change surgery from human organ trafficking mobsters, and now every time yhey see a cop they hide their stolen penis inside something (usually a friend) beccause it's stolen and thus has to be hidden when there's cops about

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EDIT:
another idea:
a biopic about John Wayne Gacy which is also a prequel to Let's Visit the World of the Future in which Gacy is depicted as a messianic figure whose second coming will usher in the world of the fyture. Ideally it will also be a musical based on ICP songs in the same way that Mama Mia was based on Abba songs

6
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 27, 2015, 05:43:05 am »
Sort of a combination of The Shadow Over Insmouth and Raiders of the Lost Ark. The Deep Ones of Dagon have made a play for world domination and the only thing that can stop them is the Ark of the Covenant (in reference to the biblical story wherein the Ark is placed in the temple of Dagon by the Philistines, who had capyured it, and the next day the statue of Dagon is found prostrate before the ark with it's head smashed to pieces). The good guys in this novel/film are even deeper into weird Lovecraftian shit than the bad guys. The name of the judeo-christian god is consostently rendered as Yod-Sabaoth (cf. "Yog-Sothoth") amd in addition to being conflated with Yog-Sothoth the deity is also interpreted in a way that sensationalistically combines all the most outrageous aspects of Kabalistic, Gnostic, and SubGenius mysticism (this last one already being deliberately sensationalistic on it's own). They also make use of all the freaky stuff from the Book Of Ezekiel like angels with too many faces and reanimating skeletons. In the dramatic conclusion the deep one army is swept away after the hero recites an incantation over the recovered ark which unusually astute viewers may recognize to be the fake bible verse from Pulp Fiction translated into Hebrew.

7
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 26, 2015, 07:22:37 pm »
Two versions of an idea:


1.) In the future international conflicts are settled with simulated battles and wars. People "killed" in said "battles" suffer no real ill effects but may not fight in further battles. In a country with mandatory military service this creates a perverse incentive to fight incompetently so they will be quickly removed from the ranks.

2.) The existance of valhalla is proven. This creates a perverse incentive for soldiers to recklessly and needlessly get themselves killed in battle.

8
Literate Chaotic / Re: Five word horror
« on: August 26, 2015, 04:27:09 am »
I can't find my journal

Dark secrets lay waiting within

The clouds were on fire.

That's just the flavor beam

9
Doesn't really matter anymore. I think I'm just gonna buy a Windows 8 tablet and install Classic Shell.

The sales guy at the store assures me that the one I've got my eye on uses the full non-RT version of the OS.

Update:

The new Windows 8.1 tablet works great. I've installed Classic Shell and successfully banished the Metro Screen as well as all easily visible references to mobile apps or the Windows Store. And I've installed Steam, GIMP, Audacity, Open Office, and all the other programs I'd always wanted to bring around with me on the go.

10
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 25, 2015, 05:25:36 am »
A comic book about a group of mostly crippled crime-fighters who all have standard superhero origins but unfortunately had more realistic outcomes. One had his face burned off in a freak lab accident, one got skin cancer from exposure to Earth's yellow sun, one was bitten by a radioactive spider with no noteworthy effects whatsoever, et cetera.

11
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 25, 2015, 04:49:38 am »
How about a joke how-to video about how to root your phone or remove a computer virus which turns into a posession/exorcism flick, with the phone levitating and rattling around, and the guys trying to root it chanting prayers at it and invoking famous computer scientists as if they were saints ("Charles Babbage, pray for us. Alan Turing, pray for us. Grace Hopper, pray for us...") and possibly moving on to invoking the heroes from evil robot movies/games as well ("David Bowman, pray for us. Neo, pray for us. Sonic the Hedgehog, pray for us..."). Ultimately going through a thorough parody of the entire rite of exorcism, at the end of which the settings preventing root access are successfully banished.
There may also be some kind of conflation of electrical grounding with the live burial used to drive out the kandarian spirits in Evil Dead 4

EDIT:
Related idea: A skit about a man who is posessed by a non-English-speaking demon, that has to continually consult a guidebook and comes out with mangled phrases like "In Hell, your mother makes the fellatio"

12
Literate Chaotic / Re: Unofficial What are you Reading Thread?
« on: August 25, 2015, 04:34:10 am »
I'm reading The Golem and the Jinni, a novel about two supernatural creatures making their way in early 20th century New York City

13
Discordian Recipes / Re: PD Recipe Thread
« on: August 22, 2015, 08:27:46 pm »
This isn't a complete recipe but I've found that taco meat can benefit from the addition of a pinch of cinnamon during the preparation process

14
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 22, 2015, 02:57:46 pm »
In this conspiracy thriller it is discovered by the protagonist that climate change denialism is a result of a cold-war era government program intended to deliberately promote global warming as a prelude to an invasion of Russia

15
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: August 21, 2015, 07:11:45 pm »
How about a comedy show where the topical and political humor is directed not at real world events but at a detailed and comprehensive fictional world devised beforehand by either the show's writers, an outside author hired for the purpose, or some kind of procedural generation program. The fact that this is being done is not made explicit on the show.

(I got this idea from the realization that a few things on Monty Python which I had previously thought were just random silliness were actually satire that went over my head because I don't live in either England or the 1970's. And so I realized that this process could potentially be profitably reversed; you could generate humorous silliness by generating a random setting and then satirizing it)

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