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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: Yesterday at 08:36:13 am »
"Fuck Squad" - An action/horror/comedy/possibly soft porn parodying and deconstructig the slasher genre. The protagonists are a team of high school to college age monster hunters who hold orgies to lure out knife weildig zombie ghouls that prey on horny teens

Another idea
Jesus of Nazareth was a time traveler and many of the miracles attributed to him are the result of people misunderstanding his explanations for things he did by . For example, the stories of him exorcising people who were posessed by multiple demons came from him trying to explain, after curing it in a patient, that [pick a brain afflicting bacterial, fungal, or protozoal disease; toxoplasmosis, syphilis, whatever] is caused by many tiny organisms growing in the brain

Another idea:
Ragnarok has blatantly begun, exactly as described in the Eddas. The world's leaders deny it however, in deference to abrahamic special interests that dontrol them.

Literate Chaotic / Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« on: June 22, 2017, 06:10:56 am »
People! Must I be really be the one to remind you that we’re dealing with Chinese fortune cookies here?!

The operative word being ’Chinese’!

Now then, who is the most famous writer in Chinese literature?

Chairman Mao?

Literate Chaotic / Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« on: June 22, 2017, 04:05:23 am »
How about famous quotes from badly translated videogames...

"All your base are belong to us"

"You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance"

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 21, 2017, 08:54:09 am »
Richard Dawkins dies and goes to heaven. Being greatly incensed by this, he storms off to give God a piece of his mind. He finds a frantically working, chainsmoking Almighty working nonstop at the machinery of the universe. At first being much too busy to speak to Dawkins, he winds up shouting in frustration at God's back about how he could possibly allow for war and death and disease while God is trying to keep everything spinning the way its supposed to, until God finally snaps and shuts the whole mess down for a minute, turns on Dawkins like a child who has asked why he cant have a sweet just one too many times. He then gives Dawkins a detailed rant about how much work it takes to govern a universe that's every bit as infinite as he is, alternate universes and quantum notwithstanding,  how much of his omnipotence goes towards observing corners of space that no human will ever reach in their lifetime, and how none of this got into the major religious texts because all of us stupid monkeys wouldn't even sit down to read a book that didnt center exclusively on us and how great we are, let alone define our actions based on it. He would end by saying that religion was just some shit he threw at us to keep us from killing each other (again, like a child being given a toy to keep it quiet for five minutes), but even that didn't work because is some cases  it just gave us a reason to do so.

Until the last sentence this is a lot like the "foundations of the earth" speech from the Book of Job

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 21, 2017, 08:24:20 am »
Humanity's understanding of basic mechanics is upended when a toy designer accidentally andunexpectedly creates an "anti-Weeble" which contains no magnets or moving parts, yet will always first wobble and then fall down into a new position no matter what position it is initially put down in (even if, for example, it is put back down in exactly the position it fell into the first time)

Literate Chaotic / Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« on: June 21, 2017, 06:59:25 am »
"You will die in seven days"


"All is lost"

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 21, 2017, 06:58:56 am »
First contact with a sentient alien race is actually with fully-memetic entities (who have long sense outgrown tight coupling with their hosts & now expect to hop freely between hosts); because hosts on their home planet are physically much different from humans, this first contact manifests as a series of dancing plagues (because the ambassadors are trying to figure out how to control their new alien bodies). Eventually, they realize that we haven't fully uncoupled from our host bodies yet and find that they need to merge with human personalities in order to learn to communicate -- which, for them, is a little like moving from a city into the woods and living with a pack of wolves, because our human personalities are collectives of wild memeplexes instead of single dominant ideas.

This sounds kind of like a sci-fi version of the Kalashtar from Eberron in D&D

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 18, 2017, 01:01:08 am »
Fantasy story about a special taskforce of revenue officers charged with collecting taxes on those mystical shops that magically appear one day where there was nothing before and soon vanish just as mysteriously as they appeared

Another idea:

Film idea. Picture this: An adaptation of the Marquis de Sade's L'ecole du Libertinage (Les Cent Vingt Journees du Sodome) set in the Star Wars universe, with Tarkin as one of the four villain protagonists. It's already the direction his character has been taken (as of Rogue One which depicts him killing large numbers people just to watch them die and commiting various atrocities basically as a hobby), and I want to see it taken there full bore all the way. (I mean hell, in some ways he's already more extreme than De Sade's characters; I mean sure, he didn't whip it out when he ordered the destruction of Jedha City and Scarif Base like a De Sade character would, but on the other hand none of De Sade's characters ever actually went as far as massacreing an entire metropolitan area just because they could)

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 17, 2017, 07:55:59 am »
A mystery cult is based on the symbolic freebasing of drugs as a representation of the metaphysical planes of the cosmos and to symbolicly become one with god. The lighter is the fires of Hell, the spoon is space, the crack rock (or meth or whatever other drug that people take like this) is the earth, and the crack smoke is the souls of the blessed rising up to Heaven and god, represented by the initiate

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 09, 2017, 07:49:48 am »
A hard science-fiction gadgeteer superhero. The story is set well in the past, say in the range of 60-100 years ago. The superhero's gadgets are all things that actually exist in modern times but weren't even in development back then. He uses camera drones and drives a segway and tases people and carries a smart device (though with no cell phone or internet networks he's limited mostly to taking photos and reviewing document and stuff), and wears kevlar armor, and things like that

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 07, 2017, 07:22:36 pm »
Did I post these ideas before?:

*A historical docudrama about the war of the currents, set to the music of AC/DC (Edit: this forum needs support for the Wingdings font. I had to type a slash instead of a lightning bolt)

*"Grammar Nazi"- a docudrama about Vichy regime leader and axis flunky Philippe Pétain's time as a member of the Académie Française

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: May 30, 2017, 11:30:51 pm »
Story about a primitive tribe of some sort that prays to the sun. A faction arises among them that they should worship the moon instead. Both sides cite ridiculously inaccurate facts about the celestial bodies to defend their side. The two groups in the tribe fight and accuse each other of being dumb. "worshipping the sun is stupid!" "no! worshipping the moon is stupid!". Humor is derived from the fact that obviously both practices are stupid and accomplish nothing.

Literate Chaotic / Re: How full of shit is Peter Levenda?
« on: May 30, 2017, 11:11:46 pm »
If he wrote the Fakeronomicon that's his credibility gone right there

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: May 28, 2017, 03:58:00 pm »
Sci-fi story involving planets with unrealistic shapes but which are treated in a realistic fashion. A cube world, for instance, where all the oceans pool in the center of each face and  travel from face to face is difficult because the edges and vertices are mountains (you have to travel away from the center of mass, or in other words "up", to reach them)

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: May 27, 2017, 08:20:57 am »
"No More Peepers For Mister Squeakers" - This is a book for beginning readers about a semi-anthropomorphic mouse (like the ones in Disney's version of Cinderella) who gets blinded when a cat claws his face. And although he survives the encounter his eyes and face are burst/torn open and blood goes everywhere.

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