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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 103
1
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: Today at 02:07:54 am »
Horror/conspiracy-thriller in which Mark Zuckerberg is secretly a cthulhu cultist trying to bring about the end of the world and Facebook is named in honor of the necronomicon

2
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: Yesterday at 06:51:17 am »
Comedy Skit: Ad for new show on The Learning Channel, "World's Fattest Midget". Ends with the tagline 'The Learning Channel, where education goes to die'

3
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 12, 2017, 04:17:29 am »
The infant Jesus is visited by three wise men. Unfortunately for him one of them is Richard Dawkins, who ushows that the "angels" are really guys in masks like the villain from a Scooby Doo cartoon, thus prompting the other wise men to take their gold and frankincense back.

4
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 11, 2017, 04:15:15 am »
Ebeneezer Scrooge dates Miss Havisham

5
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 11, 2017, 03:42:09 am »
On Christmas Eve President Trump is visited by the eternally damned spirit of Ronald Reagan who sends three ghosts to teach him to stop being  a crazy avaricious assclown

6
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« on: December 08, 2017, 11:57:10 pm »
Another Prophet Profiteer Not Accepted in His Own Country

“Disgraced evangelist Jim Bakker warns critics they will face God’s wrath for making fun of him”

Quote
In video captured by Right Wing Watch, disgraced evangelist Jim Bakker raged at his critics saying, they will face the wrath of God for mocking his End Time warnings and making fun of him throughout his checkered career.

To be fair, since the election I could totally see these being the end times. And if they are it means that Trump will only serve three and a half years of his term of office (Revelation 13:5)

EDIT:
Though on the other hand the end times predictions in the books of the subgenius posit that government by evil clowns will last for many years

7
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Windows 10
« on: December 08, 2017, 11:31:40 pm »
In further news:

A lawsuit over an unwanted Windows 10 upgrade just cost Microsoft $10,000
http://www.pcworld.com/article/3088...ows-10-upgrade-just-cost-microsoft-10000.html

Microsoft backs off sneaky Windows 10 upgrade tricks with simple new pop-up
http://www.pcworld.com/article/3089...10-upgrade-tricks-with-simple-new-pop-up.html

Oh and did I mention they've implemented some of their spyware bullshit into Windows 7 and 8 now, using the Updates?  Yup.   Not all of it, since the Win7 and Win8 EULA isn't quite as horrifying as Win10, but as much as they could get away with.

This is why I keep windows update turned off. People keep telling me that that leaves me vulnerable to viruses but I personally feel that if the update itself is going to steal my personal information and/or stop my computer from working it kind of defeats the purpose

8
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Windows 10
« on: December 08, 2017, 11:27:10 pm »
I think Winaero Tweaker can kill windows telemetry

9
Apple Talk / Re: things I will do when I am emperor of the universe
« on: December 08, 2017, 05:42:31 am »
10. Country music can never be eradicated because it is a deeply loved cultural phenomenon. However, all performances of it must occur in the Louisiana swamps, outdoors, without amplification.

Even Mojo Nixon?

10
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 08, 2017, 02:00:05 am »
*A holiday special in which the First Nicene Council is depicted as deciding matters of faith with an anime-esque kung-fu tournament that culminates in an epic superfight between Saint Nicholas and Arius

*A holiday special in which the infant jesus is visited by three illuminati who come bearing gold, frankincense, myrrh, and the secret knowledge of how to bring the dead back to life

EDIT:
now that I think of it, there's a lot of fun to be had with the wisemen...

*How about a cynical satire where the three wisemen are Yoda, Zordon, and Master Splinter and the gifts they're bringing are licensed toys that they're trying to sell to the audience (but since it's satire it's blatant that they're doing this)

*How about a special with some dubious extra wisemen. "And so the five wise men came from the east; Melchior, Caspar, Balthazar, Santa Claus, and Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)"

11
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: December 07, 2017, 03:57:22 pm »
Is it true that Trump recently offered up a large chunk of one of the national parks as his latest sacrifice to Mammon?

12
:mittens:

While every word of this is true, Reason 1 explains why having this piece thrown out into the media for public consumption would simply result in "TL;DR"-type responses, or none at all.

I try pointing out shit like this (Although, not nearly as eloquently and thoroughly as you've done, here) all the time, but no one wants to read anything for longer than a few seconds at a time. It's honestly one of the most frustrating aspects of this list, in that it prevents discussion that could solve the other items in the list.

Yeah, this. It's really at the point now where the only "hope" that really exists is that maybe we'll actually have some kind of nuclear Armageddon that wipes out 95% of humanity, and maybe whoever picks up the pieces will do a better job next time around.

Unlikely. The places most likely to avoid being nuked back into the dark ages are those too unimportant to target due to never having exited the dark ages in the first place. Like the bible belt and flyover states; if you were a head of state would you waste a nuke on what is essentially an uninhabited wasteland already?

At the height of the cold war, Tucson had 137 nukes aimed at it.  True story.

Sounds like a good idea. Tucson however, is not rural, even if much of Arizona is.

I'm talking about aiming nukes at small god-fearing uneducated inbred communities

13
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: December 06, 2017, 04:54:58 pm »
Something needs to be done about Saudi Arabia. If ever there was a country that deserved to be completely wiped off the map and replaced with a gaping hole into the earth's mantle it's them.

14
:mittens:

While every word of this is true, Reason 1 explains why having this piece thrown out into the media for public consumption would simply result in "TL;DR"-type responses, or none at all.

I try pointing out shit like this (Although, not nearly as eloquently and thoroughly as you've done, here) all the time, but no one wants to read anything for longer than a few seconds at a time. It's honestly one of the most frustrating aspects of this list, in that it prevents discussion that could solve the other items in the list.

Yeah, this. It's really at the point now where the only "hope" that really exists is that maybe we'll actually have some kind of nuclear Armageddon that wipes out 95% of humanity, and maybe whoever picks up the pieces will do a better job next time around.

Unlikely. The places most likely to avoid being nuked back into the dark ages are those too unimportant to target due to never having exited the dark ages in the first place. Like the bible belt and flyover states; if you were a head of state would you waste a nuke on what is essentially an uninhabited wasteland already?
Well, yes, I would. But I'm a terrible person.

I meant to put yourself in the mind of the kind of pinhead that becomes a real head of state

15
:mittens:

While every word of this is true, Reason 1 explains why having this piece thrown out into the media for public consumption would simply result in "TL;DR"-type responses, or none at all.

I try pointing out shit like this (Although, not nearly as eloquently and thoroughly as you've done, here) all the time, but no one wants to read anything for longer than a few seconds at a time. It's honestly one of the most frustrating aspects of this list, in that it prevents discussion that could solve the other items in the list.

Yeah, this. It's really at the point now where the only "hope" that really exists is that maybe we'll actually have some kind of nuclear Armageddon that wipes out 95% of humanity, and maybe whoever picks up the pieces will do a better job next time around.

Unlikely. The places most likely to avoid being nuked back into the dark ages are those too unimportant to target due to never having exited the dark ages in the first place. Like the bible belt and flyover states; if you were a head of state would you waste a nuke on what is essentially an uninhabited wasteland already?

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