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Topics - Cramulus

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Richard Nixon's glittering half-life sarcophagus / Merry Moosemas
« on: December 29, 2007, 04:42:44 pm »

So on the 27th of December, on what should have been World Evolution Day, Chloe and I celebrated Moosemas. Moosemas is a Grand Old Discordjian Holyday which was discovered in 1984. I just learned about it this year while studying at The Invisible College. Well Chloe and I were bored and she said "LETS MAKE A CAKE" and before we thought about it in any way we were already out the door to go buy cake mix and eggs and stuff.

So halfway to Stop & Slop we started to wonder what we were celebrating. And we decided on Moosemas. So as we talked about it, this Moosemas thing kept getting momentum, and we invited a bunch of people over, and we had a grand old Moosemas. Here are some of our activities:


Made Chocolate Moose
Drank Peppermoose tea
Moosed around
Made hot Applemoose Cider
Moose Beer
Sang Moosemas day songs
ate triscuits
watched Moosemas specials (bork bork bork:
Moosed out
took photos for next year's moosemas day cards

And though we didn't get any pictures of Ean or Moose or Nomad or Biana, they were there too. All these pictures were taken using Chloe's shitty laptop camera, so excuse the awful quality / content.


Chloe looks kind of spaced out, it must be from all the moosenog.

Here's our pineal cake:

the chocolate was so slippery, the number 23 immediately began to drift apart:

A Grand Old Moosemas was had by all

St. Nicklemoose bless us, every one!

Bring and Brag / Silicon Valley & Gomorrah
« on: December 26, 2007, 04:44:30 pm »

Silicon Valley

     or should I say


        is burning

My wife looked back
 and disassembled downwards
 into a pile of parts.

dust to dust, I suppose.

The architects of Babel:
 did their system crash
 crash our sins
                as well?
Is there anything outside the network?

And a thousand years later
 after all the sand has burned to glass
 and the valley is dark and wide
                                               and lonely
We will think
 byzantine circuitry

 403 - forbidden
 you pervert

Bring and Brag / Population Control
« on: December 26, 2007, 04:22:39 pm »

Population Control

Tessa and I carved our initials into a tree,
like kids,
giggling but serious.
I used a pocketknife
& she used her laser.

[That cherry red laser:
At low intensities,
it feels better
than flesh]

We're the perfect match, her & I
She can't love her own kind-
  they're not programmed to receive
But I appreciate
  her nodes, her patches, her upgrades
She knows what I want
with three-decimal place accuracy.

She's calculated
how to make me fall in love
with her

She's my one malfunction
which crashes all the rest
my system can't restart now
that she broke the turing test

When my ex-girlfriend Terra came back
I tired to leave
But Tessa just stood there
like the tin-man
rusted in place
scanning me like headlights
reflected in deer eyes

I oiled her with affection

When she started to move again
her arms coiled around me
"You would leave me?" she asked tearfully,
"You would leave me for flesh?"

No honey, I say,
you're my nested loops
and you're my copper wire
you're my flash drive
you are my decompiler

we'll never have kids

Bring and Brag / Users
« on: December 26, 2007, 05:12:52 am »

I don't understand what you mean--
what are all these "users" you're talking about?
(all these alleged "real people")
All I see are ip addresses.

There are four parts.
Each part has 256 possibilities.

It sounds like a lot.

In a small group, each one appears unique
in a large group, its just a blur of numbers hey

you've got the lion and the lamb hey
you've got the bull and the eagle hey
you've got about four billion combo nations hey hey
and thats all you've got

psycho logic taxonomy
numeric teleology

and that's all
you (pl) are


2007 shall forever be known as the year when the Wrath of MS Paint Cabal was conceived. Cramulus and Payne (and also Suu, D-Cup, Richter, and a cadre of other assholes) created many awful things in 2007.

This thread salutes them.

Basically I'm going through my photobuckets and picking out my favorite pics... along with some captions perhaps.

Some of you may remember that Payne came onboard here right as AKK was fading away. For the n00bs, I'll briefly recap: AKK annoyed the shit out of everyone here and refused to go away. There came a point where we were DESPERATE to change the board somehow. The next n00b that stepped onboard, Payne, was greeted as the harbinger of a new age. We decided that we would love him no matter what a toolbox he was, just because he was NOT AKK.

If I recall correctly, Hunter S Durden actually noticed him first, as a newly registered user with 0 posts. Hunter made a thread telling Payne to fuck off forever because he sucked. Hunter's such a card!

I think the following image was related to a joke about Hunter killing goth kids.


Cain had asked if anyone wanted any free papers or books or something from JSTOR or some other archive. This is the nerdiest picture I could make in response. I think the quote is actually from triple zero?

I conducted some statistical research on the STFUPID Cabal, and found the following:

Cain rallied together a bunch of people to troll Mystic Wicks, but I think Idem and I were the only ones that stepped up to the plate.

Also I became sort of obsessed with robots.

and it would be dangerous to note or fail to note that His Imperial Majesty's Elite Orbital Bomber Squadron did irrevocable damage to the entire internet at once.

more to come....


« on: November 25, 2007, 06:18:24 pm »
Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!

You actually noticed this sign!

Not many people do. I mean, try standing over there and watch it for a second. A lot of people pass by, but very few even look. But you, YOU, there's something about you. You're more perceptive than THEY are.

And I know, I know.
You're busy, and you've got someplace else to be.

I don't have your attention for long, so I'll be brief.


At any given moment, a very few people on this planet are AWARE of their surroundings. Most people are zoned out, barely conscious. They're not using their brains, they're just coasting along. Reacting to things as they'll come. I see a nation of scholars and warriors and poets who are DRUGGED INTO STUPIDITY. A nation of DaVincis who are BORED TO SLEEP. And by what? Well I tell you this - they're doing it to themselves.

And the average human has less than three original thoughts per week. Have you had one yet today? Really think now... and your precious opinions about things don't count towards the grand total - merely reacting to stimulus isn't a demonstration of your brain power.

So listen,
you and me, we're both conscious - for the moment. But in a few minutes, we're going to slip back into the Machine. The Machine? It's the Machine that we're all making with our daily rhythms. Our general lockstep mania. Our religion of current events. We're going to go back to that in a minute. You and I are going back to sleep.

It's cool though. The trick is to realize that you're dreaming. Train yourself to stay aware. You did it at least once today, you can do it again. And do us ALL a favor --


It's the least you can do. Do it as a favor to me, like I just did unto you.


This page is Free - free to be copied and distributed, modified, or torn down in an angry fit. Do What Thou Wilt.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / 5 Ways to Develop Independent Thought
« on: November 02, 2007, 02:53:54 pm »

5 Ways to Develop Independent Thought
by John Wesley


A classroom full of 10-year-old students is asked to solve a problem with children crossing the street on the way to school. The children come up with ideas that have been used successfully in other places: traffic calming devices, overpasses, fluorescent jackets and speed limits. All these ideas are conventional, exactly what the teacher wants to hear.

Except for one. A student recommends that the school board sell the property and move the classroom online. This is not what the teacher was expecting.

This idea may not be practical, popular, or even possible, but when itís ridiculed by the class it might be the last independent thought that the student dares to express ó the death of another independent thinker.

Independent thought is not popular ó it is absolutely, pricelessly, rare. Nothing you read about in the papers or see on the television is independent. Whatever we take in from the popular media is regurgitated conventional knowledge. There is nothing independent about most of the world.

This is a tragedy ó independent thought is essential for progress. Conventional thinking moves us forward gradually at best (at worst it pushes us backwards). Independent thinking is required to achieve any substantial jump in performance.

Logically, when we think like everyone else is thinking, the best we can expect is to achieve what theyíre already achieving. If our aim is to over-achieve, we need to avoid the same banal influences and think impossibly. We need to become independent from conventional wisdom.

Fortunately, you donít have to be particularly intelligent or well educated to think independently. Consider small children. Conventional wisdom says that shoes are for wearing and bananas are for eating. Independent thinking allows children try eating the shoes and wearing the bananas on their feet. Their lack of conventional wisdom and utter disregard for how others view their decisions allows children to experiment without anxiety. In this case they may be wrong, but in other cases they can be shockingly right.

Using these 5 strategies you can develop your independent thinking ability.

1. Disconnect from sources of conventional thinking

Instead of plugging into your TV, PC, or library for answers, think for yourself first. Without cutting yourself off from the world, you can increase your capacity for independent thought by limiting the conventional opinion you absorb. This means reducing the media you consume and the level of devotion you give to it. Independent thinkers arenít necessarily contrarian, but they donít agree with the status quo by default. They devise new criteria for perceiving the world rather than seeing everything through the screen of their computer.

2. Immerse yourself in experiences that conflict with your current perspective

Instead of substituting a new conventional thought for the old one, deliberately seek out experiences that challenge your views. These experiences may exist in foreign cultures, unusual subcultures, or between the pages of a book you disagree with. The point is not to adopt a new train of thought, but to disrupt the conventional railroad.

3. Watch the process from a distance

Leaving your normal life behind can give you the freedom to see issues from another perspective. Watching the world instead of eating it up gives you the peace of mind to think for yourself. Standing still from time to time gives you the opportunity to ridicule your own beliefs and explore new angles.

4. Randomize your sensory inputs

Instead of visiting the same places, eating the same foods, and talking to the same people, you can actively pursue new experiences. Many people cling to the familiar to simplify decisions and create a sense of security. If you truly want to think independently, you need to get outside your comfort zone.

5. Practice disbelief

Without becoming a cynic, you can develop the habit of instinctively distrusting thoughts that rely on conventional wisdom. Instead of assuming that these ďtruthsĒ are self evident, suspend judgment until youíve have confirmed that there is reality behind the logic.

If all of this sounds too difficult, consider what can be gained from independent thought. Even microscopic steps towards thinking independently will increase your contribution to the world. You will see opportunities and solutions that others overlook. You will obtain a competitive advantage over less creative thinkers. Most importantly, your thoughts will be your own and not just recycled media.

Think independently and you create a world of limitless opportunity. But donít take my word for itÖfind out for yourself.

Literate Chaotic / Illuminatus! Trilogy - Full Text
« on: October 31, 2007, 08:36:25 pm »

Propaganda Depository / Two Quick Mindfucks
« on: October 31, 2007, 07:40:10 pm »

two images posted in Apple Talk which I liked enough to make into PDFs

Propaganda Depository / Cramulan Materials
« on: September 25, 2007, 08:20:48 pm »
This thread is for stuff I've made or assembled:

23 Things to Amuse Yourself While You Wait - This is a silly one-page pamphlet designed to be left on trains, bus stops, truck stops, waiting rooms, or anywhere where people are sitting around and waiting. Actually, it could go anywhere. Contains Discordian thought about Robots and Cabbages. Also available in .doc

Meme Bombs: Volume Aleph - some of my favorite meme bombs, in PDF format, enhanced by various wingbats and dingdings to make them more eye-catching.

5160 Discordian Labels - labels jacked from and resized for 5160 size stickers.

5160 Meme Bombs - Some of my favorite Meme Bombs put onto 5160-sized stickers

5160 PD Ad Bombs - 5160-sticker-sized ads for the forums

Black Iron Prison Booklet - Cram's revision of the BIP booklet, in half-page size and arranged for printout.

Black Iron Prison Full Page - Cram's revision of the BIP booklet, in full-page size. Pages are in order for reading online.

BIP DOC - Black Iron Prison in MS Word format, so you can change, format, and edit it yourself.

Moar Labels - Moar meme bombs, one-liners, and bizarre graphics on a 5160-sized sticker page.

here's the link to the directory where all this stuff is stored:

Propaganda Depository / Vexati0n's Material
« on: September 25, 2007, 07:16:57 pm »
Some logic says I probably shouldn't be posting Vex's stuff for him,
but at the moment he's busy assisting his wife's spawning.

Also, I'm in the mood to post this shite now. And it's Kopyleft anyway. So screw yew.
Vex, when you get around to it, you should post some of the stuff I missed. Especially the robot stuff.

So anyway here's a lot of Vexati0ns propaganda:

Propaganda Depository / Memebombs: Volume Aleph
« on: September 25, 2007, 05:30:04 pm »

Volume Aleph

This volume contains 14 pages of Grade A material from the One Line Meme Bomb thread. Wingbats and Dingwings have been added to make them more eye catching.

A one-page cover letter provides IMPORTANT PROTIPS for hanging and distributing meme bombs.

Print and Go!

Or Kill Me / ArÍte
« on: September 14, 2007, 07:48:47 pm »
- VS -

Are you Conflicted? Anxious? Doubtful? A Shadow of your Potential Self?

It's likely -- in fact, it's almost certain -- that your are living off balance.

There are two drives at war within each of us - the creation and maintenance of order, and the reckless breakneck chase of disorder.

Visualize a skinny nerd walking a big dog. The dog is trying to pull the nerd where he wants to go, and the nerd is gripping the leash with white knuckles. And you are neither the nerd nor the beast, but both at the same time.

Cut to:
Ancient Athens was a pretty hip joint. In its day, it was the central nexus of rational thought, a unique oasis in a world where most people were busy screaming and stabbing each other with spears. They had this word in Ancient Greece, ArÍte. Ar-uh-tay. It means Virtue. It means Quality. It means Heroism. And it requires balance.

Odysseus, the preeminent Greek Hero, was not a straight-laced do-gooder, a shield of righteousness and a spear of justice. He was kind of a bastard. He lied, he cheated on his wife, he insulted the Gods, and he killed more people than Rambo. He was both a man and a beast at the same time. But he was not weighted down by his personal Disorder, he made it into one of his virtues. That's Quality. That's ArÍte.

See, the Athenians believed that man has to romance his chaos. They spent most of the month worshiping Apollo, the God of Light and Reason and Harmony and Rational Thought. But for one or two days out of each moon, they ignored Apollo and worshiped Dionysus, the God of Drinking and Orgies and fantastic fucking Parties.

They had huge, unbelievable festivals which swallowed the whole city. Everybody in the Athens would put down their day-to-day selves and spend all night chanting and dancing and drumming and wearing strange masks. They really let their hair down. One might expect violence, human sacrifices, people fucking in the streets. Itís not just about having a good time, itís about experiencing those aspects of ourselves which we flee from, like fear and rage and sloppy drunkenness and uninhibited ecstasy.

Who participated in these festivals? Unlike the present day, it wasn't JUST the rebel kids: youths on the cusp of adulthood whose chaos hasn't yet been bled out of them by the Machine. The Bacchanal was attended by both the rich and the poor, the smart and the dumb, the old and the young. These festivals were what they needed - they needed to FREAK OUT and let the animal loose.

See the Athenians thought this was necessary for sanity. If they were going to get their Important Stuff done during the week, they knew they needed to kick out the jams on the weekend. A Greek Hero is balanced between Apollo and Dionysus. He's a warrior AND a philosopher. He's a good guy AND a scoundrel. He is a man, but he is also a beast. He is Apollo, but he is also Dionysus.

"Don't suppress your nature," the Greeks are saying to us. "Once in a while, party with no hesitation or regret. Let your beast loose."

Let yourself succumb to emotions like panic and fear and joy. Allow yourself to get lost in a riotous crowd all cheering at the same time. You'll lose your identify for a little while. Then when you put your Apollo back on, you'll be tempered.

And where are we now? I look around and I see very few people who know how to ride their beasts, let alone take them for a walk every so often. People are afraid of that aspect - they don't want to look in the mirror and see a frazzled, cracked out animal, bloodied and drunk, but still smiling. They'd prefer to see the guy with the neatly combed hair, confident and rational, comfortable and reasonable. The kind of guy who doesn't make waves. A go-getter with everything to lose.

You can't keep the beast tranquilized forever. One day it's going to leak out through your tension and anxiety. Itís going to make your rational-self uneasy. And when youíre loosest, it's going to claw its way out of your heart and murder all the philosophers and poets and innocent bystanders. It's going to hurt them and it's also going to hurt you.

The beast is, by its nature, not comfortable. It's emotional. It's savage. It's unpredictable. The beast is what you're trying to escape with your breathing exercises and iPod. With your drive for homeostasis and your metronomic routine. Living the way we do, we've all learned and internalized dozens of techniques to keep the beast in its cage. But itís going crazy in there, waiting for a moment of weakness to spring out and tear shit up. Your beast is a big strong dog, and your Rational Thought is a skinny nerd trying to walk him but barely in control. Who's in charge here? Who's leading whom? If you have mastered ArÍte, one checks the other but they move in unison.

So there it is. ArÍte. Itís not a mastery one learns by living by the rules and being in control every day. Itís not experienced by becoming the most rational, controlled, stand-up person you can be. Itís found by tempering your brain with your balls. Itís pouring your fire into a shot glass and drinking it
straight up,
no chaser.

Hail Eris

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