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Topics - Cramulus

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Aneristic Illusions / Internet Blackout to Protest SOPA
« on: January 13, 2012, 02:28:24 pm »

It’s on — at least partially: Reddit has announced that it will go dark for 12 hours to protest the Stop Online Piracy Act, or SOPA, and Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales has said that he hopes to coordinate with the site so that Wikipedia does the same. Will other sites join in? Should we prepare for the Great Internet Strike of 2012?

Writing that it’s “not taking this action lightly,” Reddit announced on Tuesday that it will black out its site on Jan. 18 for 12 hours, starting at 8 a.m. E.T. During that period, the site’s content will be replaced with “a simple message about how the PIPA/SOPA legislation would shut down sites like reddit, link to resources to learn more, and suggest ways to take action.” The company will also run a live video stream of that day’s House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform hearing on Internet security, intellectual property and economic growth.

Principia Discussion / Discordian Mind Map
« on: January 09, 2012, 06:30:05 pm »
An infographic from Gwenbol of flickr... does a pretty good job of summarizing the nodes connected to Eris.

The image is a bit too large to post at full size... right click -> view    for the full image

there's also a french version

Discordia en Espanol / PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA (Curta-metragem)
« on: January 06, 2012, 04:38:53 pm »
This video was inspired by the Principia Discordia

it's in Portuguese so I have no idea what's going on. It looks pretty dramatic though!

Principia Discussion / What Makes You Not a Discordian?
« on: January 04, 2012, 09:28:43 pm »
What Makes You Not a Discordian?

I'm curious to hear people's opinions on this.

High Weirdness / Fifth World Problems
« on: January 04, 2012, 04:53:39 pm »

  • One of my bathrooms is stuck in 2011. Will next month's water bill be charged to multiple timelines?
  • My adrenal gland and Jupiter's Great Red Spot are in trans-dimensional opposition.
  • TIL that slowing down time makes it possible to count to infinity
  • I accidentally deleted 1,500 seconds from my alternate timeline.
  • Bacon from pigs doesn't exist here. In fact, pigs don't even exist, and my bacon comes from fetuses. WHY?!

Principia Discussion / The Erisian Hook
« on: January 03, 2012, 06:43:08 pm »

Christmas / New Years. Everybody's asking what you've been up to. I've been self-publishing! I show them the sexy hard copies of the Chao Te Ching.

They ask, "What's Discordianism?"

I'm asking my office building manager if I can hang a sacred chao and a golden apple from the office x-mas tree. He tells me that I can, but he wants to know what Discordianism is.

Somebody asks me why my car has a Hail Eris bumper sticker. Who's Eris, and what's that mean?

in all of these situations, I come up blank.

How can you describe something like Discordianism, in short form? We've got a "Discordianism is [sic!!] one sentence" thread, but one sentence is too short.


A quick way to explain what Discordianism is to somebody that's never heard of it.

It must have a punchline.

Preferably it would include a way of including the listener in the group of Discordians, sort of how hearing about the pope card makes you a pope.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / PD Letterhead
« on: January 03, 2012, 05:18:19 pm »

In This Thread,
we're talking about Discordian Letterhead.

Here at PD, we've got a lot of rants, essays, good posts with hot one-liners. We'd like to share these things with others, creating a trail of breadcrumbs into the MADNESS.

Faust has suggested that we might be able to get a button which turns an individual post into a PDF, or something to that effect. Something you can print out and tape somewhere, or hand to somebody. In my imagination, this has an official Discordian letterhead on top.

So what should our letter head look like? What should be included? Does anybody want to try their hand at design?

I've been reading a blog called Anti Teachings For Young People. There's a lot of great content there for people interested in stuff like western-zen, no-mind, ego-death etc..

Recently, they made a post indexing a bunch of videos about THE SELF. I've been slowly working through them, and finding them very enjoyable, so I'm sharing the link with you cats:

Let us know if you find a video in there which is particularly interesting!

Source: the Book of Chaos And It's Virtue


By Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli

DISCORDIANISM: Like Wicca, it started off as a religion for pot-smoking hippie bums who wanted to pass off their bullshit as a philosophical statement. The key difference was it was full of jokes plagiarized from the Marx brothers. Somewhere along the line, like many obscure things that deserved to stay obscure, it got co-opted by sweaty, anime-downloading computer nerds and has become some stupid inside joke on message boards full of assholes, giving it as much meaning and significance as All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS: Discordians who get bored of saying "Fnord" and "Hail Eris" and wanted to make up new nonsense phrases and pretend like saying them while giggling was a constructive act of activism.

THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA: Between "My First ABCs" and "The Essential Guide to Star Wars Ships" in terms of literary importance
THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS: Like the Principia Discordia, only 100 pages longer, and it costs 20 bucks instead of being able to find it on Google.

THE ILLUMINATUS TRILOGY: A plagiarism of Joyce's work filled with nerdy pop culture references and pretentious rantng.
SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT: A plagiarism of Vonnegut's work filled with nerdy pop culture references and pretentious ranting.

ROBERT ANTON WILSON: A man who has accumulated a small fortune selling plagiarisms of Joyce and Vonnegut filled with nerdy pop culture references with pretentious ranting.
MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER: Some "wacky" nom de plume of a man who probably wrote The Principia Discordia in a stained tie-dye T-shirt on a bongwater-stained couch while listening to a highly worn LP of Freak Out!, The White Album, or The Piper at the Gates of Dawn. Wasn't smart enough to copyright his work so probably died alone and penniless on a gutter while clenching a Coke bottle pipe filled with schwag, while his buddy Robert Anton Wilson eats steak for dinner in his dining room.
KERRY THORNLEY/LORD OMAR/A BILLION OTHER STUPID PSEUDONYMS: Wrote ten crazy Xeroxed rants about Libertarianism and thought his friends were agents of the Illuminati, now posthumously considered a genius.
STEVE JACKSON: The poster boy for the official point of transformation of the vast majority (ie: 40) of Discordians changing from hippie slackers to D&D nerds who wish they could have been alive to be hippie slackers like their parents.
FNORD: A word invented to be used in the boring, pointless signatures, "hilarious" spam, and half-hearted graffiti of Discordians. Might have been a slightly funny inside joke between RAW, Thornley, and Malaclypse, but the Internet beat it into the ground like it does everything

23: The fact that that number can sometimes be seen somewhere is proof of an elaborate evil conspiracy/magical cosmic force that protects and strengthens all Discordians
THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI: The 19th century version of the Discordians. IE: They had great ideas but we're too lazy and fuckwitted and unorganized to get anything done so instead they just made a bunch of bullshit. So obviously the Discordian society idolizes them.
THE POEE: 12 members strong.

THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY: 18 members strong.
WWW.PRINCIPIADISCORDIA.COM: An expensive domain name that somebody pays for solely to host a 60-page book that can be found for a yardsale at 25 cents, or in it's entirity on the first 13 pages of a Google search. In other word, a nerd who felt the obligation to make a site that wasn't about what bands they like or how similar to Hitler Bush is.
ERISIANS: Discordians who insist on being called something else to be difficult
ERIS/DISCORDIA: There is a disagreement among Discordians and Erisians as to her nature. Discordians think she's a cartoon character with magic powers who help them out and who they fantasize to while masturbating, (that is, when they're too lazy to open up their porn folder or turn to the Dryad page of the D&D Monster Manual) Erisians think the same thing although they sprinkle it with some Taoist metaphysical stuff.
OPERATION MINDFUCK: A way to make the world a better place that apparently involves trolling conservative communities, writing notes on bathroom walls, making up little pieces of paper that say "LOL U R TEH POPE" and being too afraid to hand them out to people, and contemplating all of these brilliant ideas on a message board and being too lazy to do any of them.
JAKE: Like a mindfuck except more childish, if that's possible
WWW.POEE.CO.UK: A website with a professional-looking appearance and informative content. This makes it’s owner Syntapgjax, a Fake Discordian, since obviously the definition of "Discordian" is "someone who can't get their shit together"

FAKE DISCORDIAN: A term thrown around a lot for practitioners of a religion that embraces ontological freedom and equality. It's actually a redundant term.
"WE DISCORDIANS MUST STICK APART": An excuse for not having your shit together
CHAOS MAGIC: If Wicca is people who need an authority figure to give their minds permission to use magic adopting books form Barnes and Noble as such, than Chaos Magic is the same, only with Google and Alice in Wonderland.
ZENARCHY: A term used by Discordians who have to pretend they're too enlightened to use terms like "Anarchist" to describe their political belief, so they use a term that sounds deep but is actually an unfunny portmanteau, like "Zenarchist" so they can pretend they're too cool for politics.
THE LAW OF FIVES: An important lesson in epistemological relativism becomes an inside joke among people who make stupid polls on the Internet to waste their lives away
COPYRITE/KOPYRIGHT/KOPYRITE/COPYLEFT/KOPYLEFT: A term that’s obviously Discordian because of the lame pun. Spawned Wikipedia, which is what sexless nerds use as an authoritative source of knowledge, in the same way imperialist intellectual elitists used the Britannica.
DISCORDIAN SAINT: Someone who the government hasn't forced to take their meds yet

THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA.COM FORUMS: Where you can read jokers bickering like the cast of MASH towards the end of the show and pretending that they're better than 95 percent of DeadJournal users somehow. Also full of long, drawn out, pointless rants that just reiterate the same uninsightful points. Discordians are nerds who don't have enough sex.

Or Kill Me / "Maybe..." (a parable)
« on: December 28, 2011, 04:22:15 pm »
A modern adaptation of an old story

A young Discordian named Nopants's car broke down on his way to the market. His friends in the car all said "Awww! This is going to be expensive to fix. That's terrible!"

Nopants said "Maybe..."

The mechanic closed the hood and told him that it was lucky he came in when he did. It turns out the engine had a much more expensive problem that they caught before it exploded in a deadly fireball.

The car was fixed, but Nopants was broke. So he applied for a job in a big office building. He nailed the interview and was told he could start on Monday. His friends were overjoyed for him. "Congradulations on getting that job, that's great news!"

Nopants replied "Maybe..."

From then on, he spent his days staring at four gray cubicle walls, entering data onto spreadsheets. It was a boring, dead-end job full of stresses and bereft of meaning. Years passed inside the stale office building.

One day, another position within the company opened. It offered good pay, meaningful work, and an office with a window. Nopants interviewed, and was perfect for the job, but a lot of people had applied for it too. A few days later, Nopants's boss told him they weren't hiring him for that position.

Nopants's family was frustrated on his behalf, "We're really sorry to hear that, Nopants. That's terrible news and you deserve better."

"Hmmmm," said Nopants, "Maybe..."

The next week, the company was bought by another company, and the position Nopants applied for was made redundant. The person in the office with a window was laid off.

Nopants had become good at filling out spreadsheets, and had enough spare time to work on his art and poetry. His cubicle walls were no longer gray, but covered with silly collages that made him laugh like a ninny. One day, a girl was passing his cubicle, and saw the artwork within. Intrigued, she started up a conversation with Nopants, and they hit it off. Soon, they started dating.

"I'm so happy for you Nopants," said his friends, "You two make a great couple, and I'm sure you'll live happily ever after!"

Nopants smiled, "Maybe..."

And for a few years, they lived happily. But eventually the girl became enamoured with someone else, and left Nopants for a spag who worked in sales. The spag gave Nopants the "finger guns" every time they saw each other in the hall. The girl clinged to his arm and avoided eye contact.

"Aww Nopants," said his family, "It's too bad she left you,"

Nopants laughed, "Maybe..."

Principia Discussion / Chao Te Ching - Print Edition!
« on: December 23, 2011, 04:35:16 pm »

The Chao Te Ching is a meditation on the Sacred Chao, a yin-yangish symbol which represents everything worth knowing, and also a lot of stuff not worth knowing. In 81 brief chapters which parallel the Tao Te Ching, this modern Discordian text synthesizes ancient Taoism and irreligious Zenarchy. This manual teaches how to discover your inner spag, the silly fool who, through laughter, is neither confined by apparent order or bewildered by apparent disorder.

The Chao Te Ching is a local production. LMNO and I put it together, and we had submissions/advice from Burns, Cain, Faust, Honey, Hoopla, Kai, Lies, Ratatosk, Requia, Roaring Biscuit, Telarus, and Triple Zero.

Buy the paperback for under ten bucks here:

Read or Download the whole PDF for free here:

This is a continuation of the IMAGE SEARCH CHALLENGE

The idea is to find the origin of a target image.

We got the last image pretty fast! I asked triple zero for another image to puzzle out, and he supplied this:

[image is larger than you see - it has been shrunk down a bit to fit in your window.]

So let's try to puzzle out where in the world these photographs were taken.

I'm celebrating Moosemas THIS SATURDAY!  :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

I've been blasting the office building manager with e-mails about having my religion represented in the lobby holiday decorations. Yesterday he called me up and asked how he could help. When I told him that I would be satisfied if he hung a a cartoon moose from the X-Mas tree, he told me he "had to make a few inquiries" and that we'd talk in person today. THIS IS GONNA BE FUN.

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