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Topics - Cramulus

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Principia Discussion / Zen Without Zen Masters
« on: January 23, 2012, 04:46:53 pm »

I just picked up Zen Without Zen Masters by Camden Benares, aka the Count of Five.

If you're into Discordian Zen, you'll dig this book. The book contains about 120 koans, each one is only a few paragraphs long. I'll share a few in this thread.

For those of you into Discordian History, you'll enjoy the numerous appearances of Mal and Omar. A few of the chapters describe conversations which took place between some of the classic Discordians -- conversations which are also referenced in the Principia. For example----


In a discussion Bert said that reality can be described in many ways, but the description that an individual accepts is the one that conforms to that individual's preconceptions. Omar expanded on this by defining objective reality as the fantasy that has received the majority vote and subjective reality as personal fantasy. Mal concluded the discussion by saying "Reality is the original Rorschach."

Here's some others I liked:

Illusion and Reality

Expounding on his knowledge of gurus and their system,s Ralph said, "Any system that prepares you for enlightenment by a description or a nondescription gives you the tools to build the illusion of enlightenment. If this is done with skill it is perhaps impossible to tell the difference between the illusion and the reality."

Lucas replied, "Perhaps there is no difference."

Belief and Creation

Today I heard about a new thing called whatamores. I now believe in whatamores. If you can live in whatamores and if we can form a mutually acceptable definition, we will discover large amounts of circumstantial evidence proving the existence of whatamores. When we believe enough, there will be whatamores. Do we really want any?

Science and Magic

Science and magic are frequently different maps for very similar territory. Following the past of least resistance, science ignores magic's hard-to-travel path. Magic uses myth and science uses ambiguous terminology: Semantically, both say the same thing. Each principle is expressed as "An unknown something is doing we don't know what." Each law is a variation of "It did it again."

The Artist's Enlightenment

An artist, depressed and almost unable to paint, consulted Sam, a Zen-oriented therapist, for aid in coping with his problems. He asked what the fee would be, explaining that his income had dwindled since he was doing fewer paintings. Sam said his fee would be two paintings. The first, to be titled Despair, was to be completed before the therapy began; the second was to be titled by the artist and was to be started when the therapy ended.

The artist painted Despair and presented it to Sam, who looked at it and then threw it into the blazing fireplace. The artist walked out. He returned a few days later with the second painting.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Cards Against Humanity
« on: January 20, 2012, 06:47:53 pm »

I wanted to share this kopyleft game I found on the net. You can buy a deck real cheap, or make one yourself. They give away the PDF for free, you just have to print it (preferably on cardstock) and cut it out.

The game has a lot in common with Apples To Apples. Everybody gets 10 white cards, which are basically nouns.

You take turns being the Czar. The Czar draws a black card, which is like a category or question. Everybody passes the Czar a white card (face down) which they think best answers that question or fits in that category. Then the Czar decides which of the white cards was the most hilarious answer. That player gets a point.

For example:

We've been talking a lot about copyright and the entertainment industry. If we don't like the MPAA et al, what's the alternative? Cards Against Humanity is facing in the right direction, it's an example of a cool game that came from the copyleft movement. The creators set up a kickstarter, quickly received 300% of the money they wanted for the game, and released it to the public. They got paid, and we all get free entertainment.

I am printing these out RIGHT NOW.

Principia Discussion / Dudeism
« on: January 18, 2012, 03:35:52 pm »
There must be a topic about this somewhere already...

From what I can tell, Dudeism is another neophilic irreligion. It seems like a mix of Taoism and the Big Lebowski.

Quote from:
An ancient philosophy that preaches non-preachiness, practices as little as possible, and above all, uh…lost my train of thought there. Anyway, if you’d like to find peace on earth and goodwill, man, we’ll help you get started. Right after a little nap.

The idea is this: Life is short and complicated and nobody knows what to do about it. So don’t do anything about it. Just take it easy, man. Stop worrying so much whether you’ll make it into the finals. Kick back with some friends and some oat soda and whether you roll strikes or gutters, do your best to be true to yourself and others – that is to say, abide.

I found it because I found this weird version of the sacred chao while looking for copyleft imagery. This Discordian thinks dudeism and eris are in accordance, check it out:

Like us, they've even got their own version of the Tao Te Ching, the Dude De ching: - this was clearly written in the same way we wrote the Chao Te Ching; they started with a chapter from the Tao Te Ching and played with it until it felt like something from The Big Lebowski.

much like Discordia, this is a big joke with a note of no-this-is-for-real at the core

Propaganda Depository / Pamphlet Brainstorm Thread
« on: January 18, 2012, 03:18:28 pm »
This thread is for brainstorming trifold pamphlets. The idea here is to just throw out a bunch of pamphlet ideas, even if you have no intention of making one.

Kopyleft Notice: Any text or idea posted in this thread could be picked up and developed by somebody else. so don't post content you're not comfortable giving away.

Here's the rough structure... this is mainly to help you get started, you don't have to have the full concept thought out. Feel free to post bits of a concept, and leave a bunch of ???????s in the parts you haven't figured out. We'll chat about the idea and maybe come up with something to put in the blank spots.

Concept: a short description of the pamphlet's intention or goal. Is there a specific issue you want to raise awareness of? a specific idea that you want to draw attention to? Is there something you want to combat or address? A common misconception you want to challenge?

Front Cover: Generally, this is a title and an image. Sometimes you draw people in with a big question.

Inside: You've got about 200 words per panel to make your point. I wouldn't go over 200 or 300 words per column. And you should probably think of what images would go with the text. The body of the pamphlet is actually 4 pages, which people generally read in the following order:

Inside (left): a brief summary
Inside Flap: (the back of the inside right column)
Inside Center,
Inside Right

and finally, there's the

Back Cover: closing words and a hook. This could be our website, an e-mail address, or a way to get involved. The back cover launches the reader into action.

I have been ITCHING to make something awesome and then go blast it everywhere. So let's see if we can come up with something cool which will be fun to distribute.

This has been my obsession as of late.

It started when I discovered that Rodney Dangerfield had a hip hop single called "Rappin' Rodney"

Behold and Despair:

It's pretty catchy, actually. And No, Rodney doesn't "rap", he just delivers a bunch of his classic one-liners with some backup singers. The whole thing is hilarious because (1) there is no way in hell that this was Rodney Dangerfield's idea (2) at one point in history, this is what music producers thought rap music should sound like.

Principia Discussion / The Golden Appleocalypse
« on: January 13, 2012, 05:52:49 pm »


       And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign for All Literates to Read thereof: "DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal This Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of Thud for These Five Days.      -Principia Discordia, p53

It's 2012. So obviously the world is really ending* this year. There are a few great end-game scenarios.

Maybe this will be the "end of the mayan 4th world" and the 5th world will begin and Quetzalcoatl will be elected president.

Maybe the technological singularity will happen and our world will be replaced by some kind of digital dystopia. Things become obsolete faster than they can be manufactured. Machines learn to learn and they stumble forward without us like toddlers taking their first shaky steps.

Maybe the American Election will tip the global scales of power and snakes and blood and fire will spill out of it.

Maybe Terrence McKenna is right, and by Dec 21 2012, we will have gone through every possible combination of ideas and cultural movements, we'll run out of "novelty", and in order to deal with it, humanity will become something new.

Maybe there'll be a neuroscience breakthrough and we'll become part machine, part of the internet, leaving or old human shells behind like obselete 5.25 inch disk drives.

Maybe aliens or Cthulhu or Niburu or Bachmania or something.

Maybe the worldwide protest movements will succeed, the world order will crumble, and be replaced by a new one.

Maybe the Internet's tangled distributed nervous system will become self aware and a new organism will be born, a collective consciousness with its own free will which is both made by us and independent of us.

Maybe Iran's nuclear weapons program will succeed and there'll be an international spark which causes a full-scale nuclear war, wiping all of us from the face of the earth.

There are a million ways that 2013 could look completely alien to us here in January of 2012.


We Discordians are not required to believe the "correct" things, in fact, life's a lot more fun with a few creative delusions. I love to get wrapped up in Apocalypse Hysteria. Before the Y2K thing happened, I was out there with a giant sign warning people about THE END. During the Rapture I screamed myself hoarse. And I'm planning on getting all bent out of shape about 2012.

If you've never gone completely batshit about the end of the world before, you should try it out. You get a chance every few years, but I think this one is special.

Discordians have their own Eschatology. According to our mythology (which we are forbidden to believe), before the world ends, Malaclypse the Elder will return and pass out Mao buttons to poor people in California1.

In the Illuminatus! Trilogy, Malaclypse's last words to humanity go something like "When our day comes, the sun will rise in the west!" Then he walked into the Pacific Ocean and was never seen again.

Our calendar ends with The Aftermath [of Bureaucracy] fading back into Primal Chaos, the unformed and undefined state of things-to-come. The interesting part (to me at least) is not the return to Chaos, but the transformation of Bureaucracy into Aftermath. (this transformation is the essence of Discordian Alchemy). Those worldwide protest movements are working on it.

This is the new age of Discordian mythology. When the Planet Eris was discovered, it marked the beginning of the New Discordian Era. We're a non-prophet organization so we didn't see that coming. But it was probably an omen of some kind.

But we don't quite have enough information to get really tweaked out about it. If I'm going to work myself up into a good froth by this December, we're going to need some more predictions about the End Times.

Eris has spoken to me. I can tell it's really her. She says that many of you have a vision of the apocalypse. And what's really going to happen* is probably a goulash of your weirdest and truest ideas.

So here's my question for you, Discordians: What's going to happen? How is this world going to end? How will we be sure it's coming? How will we get worked up into a good froth about the Apocalypse? What are we going to be freaking out about over the next year?


When somebody asks me why I'm going so crazy about December 2012, I want to look them right in the eyes and say......


*for real this time

Aneristic Illusions / Internet Blackout to Protest SOPA
« on: January 13, 2012, 02:28:24 pm »

It’s on — at least partially: Reddit has announced that it will go dark for 12 hours to protest the Stop Online Piracy Act, or SOPA, and Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales has said that he hopes to coordinate with the site so that Wikipedia does the same. Will other sites join in? Should we prepare for the Great Internet Strike of 2012?

Writing that it’s “not taking this action lightly,” Reddit announced on Tuesday that it will black out its site on Jan. 18 for 12 hours, starting at 8 a.m. E.T. During that period, the site’s content will be replaced with “a simple message about how the PIPA/SOPA legislation would shut down sites like reddit, link to resources to learn more, and suggest ways to take action.” The company will also run a live video stream of that day’s House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform hearing on Internet security, intellectual property and economic growth.

Principia Discussion / Discordian Mind Map
« on: January 09, 2012, 06:30:05 pm »
An infographic from Gwenbol of flickr... does a pretty good job of summarizing the nodes connected to Eris.

The image is a bit too large to post at full size... right click -> view    for the full image

there's also a french version

Discordia en Espanol / PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA (Curta-metragem)
« on: January 06, 2012, 04:38:53 pm »
This video was inspired by the Principia Discordia

it's in Portuguese so I have no idea what's going on. It looks pretty dramatic though!

Principia Discussion / What Makes You Not a Discordian?
« on: January 04, 2012, 09:28:43 pm »
What Makes You Not a Discordian?

I'm curious to hear people's opinions on this.

High Weirdness / Fifth World Problems
« on: January 04, 2012, 04:53:39 pm »

  • One of my bathrooms is stuck in 2011. Will next month's water bill be charged to multiple timelines?
  • My adrenal gland and Jupiter's Great Red Spot are in trans-dimensional opposition.
  • TIL that slowing down time makes it possible to count to infinity
  • I accidentally deleted 1,500 seconds from my alternate timeline.
  • Bacon from pigs doesn't exist here. In fact, pigs don't even exist, and my bacon comes from fetuses. WHY?!

Principia Discussion / The Erisian Hook
« on: January 03, 2012, 06:43:08 pm »

Christmas / New Years. Everybody's asking what you've been up to. I've been self-publishing! I show them the sexy hard copies of the Chao Te Ching.

They ask, "What's Discordianism?"

I'm asking my office building manager if I can hang a sacred chao and a golden apple from the office x-mas tree. He tells me that I can, but he wants to know what Discordianism is.

Somebody asks me why my car has a Hail Eris bumper sticker. Who's Eris, and what's that mean?

in all of these situations, I come up blank.

How can you describe something like Discordianism, in short form? We've got a "Discordianism is [sic!!] one sentence" thread, but one sentence is too short.


A quick way to explain what Discordianism is to somebody that's never heard of it.

It must have a punchline.

Preferably it would include a way of including the listener in the group of Discordians, sort of how hearing about the pope card makes you a pope.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / PD Letterhead
« on: January 03, 2012, 05:18:19 pm »

In This Thread,
we're talking about Discordian Letterhead.

Here at PD, we've got a lot of rants, essays, good posts with hot one-liners. We'd like to share these things with others, creating a trail of breadcrumbs into the MADNESS.

Faust has suggested that we might be able to get a button which turns an individual post into a PDF, or something to that effect. Something you can print out and tape somewhere, or hand to somebody. In my imagination, this has an official Discordian letterhead on top.

So what should our letter head look like? What should be included? Does anybody want to try their hand at design?

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