« on: December 10, 2010, 06:33:16 pm »
Everyone who thinks they know what a hipster is has some mental image or another, usually of a 1990's Poindexter type in Buddy Holly glasses and a cardigan; the hipster archetype which hasn't actually existed for 15 years, yet which still remains in place as the hipster gold standard.
Now, the word "hipster" has expanded, and almost everyone fits someone else's definition of "hipster". There's the lumberjack hipster, the glam hipster, the artist hipster, the retro hipster, the hip-hop hipster, the vintage hipster, the emo hipster, the longshoreman hipster, the academic hipster, the mod hipster, the white trash hipster. There's even hipster mom. Many of the people who are dismissed or reviled as hipsters actually fit into the much more versatile category of "young person", which covers most of the least-liked characteristics attributed to hipsters; they don't know who the fuck they are yet, so they're experimenting with various cultural trends and personas in an attempt to figure it out. Bless their dear little souls, they're fucking obnoxious.
Are they hipsters? Probably. In fact, almost certainly. About the only way to not be a hipster anymore is to be a redneck, which is a perfectly valid option as long as you really are a redneck and not a hipster adopting a redneck persona. Of course, if you neither know nor care what a hipster is, you're probably not a hipster. You also probably shop at Wal-Mart and hope your husband gets a promotion at the mill before Tammy and Billy need braces. If you are reading this and pretending to not know what a hipster is, you're lying to make yourself sound cooler on paper.
Everyone decries the label of hipster, claiming "authenticity", whatever that is. Every hipster thinks they're authentic. Just ask one. Ask yourself. But goddamn, we love our categories. Especially if we can shove people we don't like into some box right over there. Niggers. Terrorists. Hipsters. They aren't really people... they're other.
Did I mention categories? Cabbages? Grayfaces? Categories give us a way to feel better about our group, because we're not them. You might call it elitism. You might, because it is.
Basically, "hipster" is yet another monkey tribal division that separates people you like from everyone else. And like all other monkey tribal divisions, it's essentially meaningless.
Ook ook, motherfucker.