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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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46
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Windows 10
« on: December 08, 2017, 11:31:40 pm »
In further news:

A lawsuit over an unwanted Windows 10 upgrade just cost Microsoft $10,000
http://www.pcworld.com/article/3088...ows-10-upgrade-just-cost-microsoft-10000.html

Microsoft backs off sneaky Windows 10 upgrade tricks with simple new pop-up
http://www.pcworld.com/article/3089...10-upgrade-tricks-with-simple-new-pop-up.html

Oh and did I mention they've implemented some of their spyware bullshit into Windows 7 and 8 now, using the Updates?  Yup.   Not all of it, since the Win7 and Win8 EULA isn't quite as horrifying as Win10, but as much as they could get away with.

This is why I keep windows update turned off. People keep telling me that that leaves me vulnerable to viruses but I personally feel that if the update itself is going to steal my personal information and/or stop my computer from working it kind of defeats the purpose

47
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Windows 10
« on: December 08, 2017, 11:27:10 pm »
I think Winaero Tweaker can kill windows telemetry

48
Apple Talk / Re: things I will do when I am emperor of the universe
« on: December 08, 2017, 05:42:31 am »
10. Country music can never be eradicated because it is a deeply loved cultural phenomenon. However, all performances of it must occur in the Louisiana swamps, outdoors, without amplification.

Even Mojo Nixon?

49
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 08, 2017, 02:00:05 am »
*A holiday special in which the First Nicene Council is depicted as deciding matters of faith with an anime-esque kung-fu tournament that culminates in an epic superfight between Saint Nicholas and Arius

*A holiday special in which the infant jesus is visited by three illuminati who come bearing gold, frankincense, myrrh, and the secret knowledge of how to bring the dead back to life

EDIT:
now that I think of it, there's a lot of fun to be had with the wisemen...

*How about a cynical satire where the three wisemen are Yoda, Zordon, and Master Splinter and the gifts they're bringing are licensed toys that they're trying to sell to the audience (but since it's satire it's blatant that they're doing this)

*How about a special with some dubious extra wisemen. "And so the five wise men came from the east; Melchior, Caspar, Balthazar, Santa Claus, and Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)"

50
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: December 07, 2017, 03:57:22 pm »
Is it true that Trump recently offered up a large chunk of one of the national parks as his latest sacrifice to Mammon?

51
:mittens:

While every word of this is true, Reason 1 explains why having this piece thrown out into the media for public consumption would simply result in "TL;DR"-type responses, or none at all.

I try pointing out shit like this (Although, not nearly as eloquently and thoroughly as you've done, here) all the time, but no one wants to read anything for longer than a few seconds at a time. It's honestly one of the most frustrating aspects of this list, in that it prevents discussion that could solve the other items in the list.

Yeah, this. It's really at the point now where the only "hope" that really exists is that maybe we'll actually have some kind of nuclear Armageddon that wipes out 95% of humanity, and maybe whoever picks up the pieces will do a better job next time around.

Unlikely. The places most likely to avoid being nuked back into the dark ages are those too unimportant to target due to never having exited the dark ages in the first place. Like the bible belt and flyover states; if you were a head of state would you waste a nuke on what is essentially an uninhabited wasteland already?

At the height of the cold war, Tucson had 137 nukes aimed at it.  True story.

Sounds like a good idea. Tucson however, is not rural, even if much of Arizona is.

I'm talking about aiming nukes at small god-fearing uneducated inbred communities

52
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: December 06, 2017, 04:54:58 pm »
Something needs to be done about Saudi Arabia. If ever there was a country that deserved to be completely wiped off the map and replaced with a gaping hole into the earth's mantle it's them.

53
:mittens:

While every word of this is true, Reason 1 explains why having this piece thrown out into the media for public consumption would simply result in "TL;DR"-type responses, or none at all.

I try pointing out shit like this (Although, not nearly as eloquently and thoroughly as you've done, here) all the time, but no one wants to read anything for longer than a few seconds at a time. It's honestly one of the most frustrating aspects of this list, in that it prevents discussion that could solve the other items in the list.

Yeah, this. It's really at the point now where the only "hope" that really exists is that maybe we'll actually have some kind of nuclear Armageddon that wipes out 95% of humanity, and maybe whoever picks up the pieces will do a better job next time around.

Unlikely. The places most likely to avoid being nuked back into the dark ages are those too unimportant to target due to never having exited the dark ages in the first place. Like the bible belt and flyover states; if you were a head of state would you waste a nuke on what is essentially an uninhabited wasteland already?
Well, yes, I would. But I'm a terrible person.

I meant to put yourself in the mind of the kind of pinhead that becomes a real head of state

54
:mittens:

While every word of this is true, Reason 1 explains why having this piece thrown out into the media for public consumption would simply result in "TL;DR"-type responses, or none at all.

I try pointing out shit like this (Although, not nearly as eloquently and thoroughly as you've done, here) all the time, but no one wants to read anything for longer than a few seconds at a time. It's honestly one of the most frustrating aspects of this list, in that it prevents discussion that could solve the other items in the list.

Yeah, this. It's really at the point now where the only "hope" that really exists is that maybe we'll actually have some kind of nuclear Armageddon that wipes out 95% of humanity, and maybe whoever picks up the pieces will do a better job next time around.

Unlikely. The places most likely to avoid being nuked back into the dark ages are those too unimportant to target due to never having exited the dark ages in the first place. Like the bible belt and flyover states; if you were a head of state would you waste a nuke on what is essentially an uninhabited wasteland already?

55
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: December 06, 2017, 04:15:07 am »
https://theintercept.com/2017/12/04/trump-white-house-weighing-plans-for-private-spies-to-counter-deep-state-enemies/

Quote
The Trump administration is considering a set of proposals developed by Blackwater founder Erik Prince and a retired CIA officer — with assistance from Oliver North, a key figure in the Iran-Contra scandal — to provide CIA Director Mike Pompeo and the White House with a global, private spy network that would circumvent official U.S. intelligence agencies, according to several current and former U.S. intelligence officials and others familiar with the proposals. The sources say the plans have been pitched to the White House as a means of countering “deep state” enemies in the intelligence community seeking to undermine Trump’s presidency.
The creation of such a program raises the possibility that the effort would be used to create an intelligence apparatus to justify the Trump administration’s political agenda.
“Pompeo can’t trust the CIA bureaucracy, so we need to create this thing that reports just directly to him,” said a former senior U.S. intelligence official with firsthand knowledge of the proposals, in describing White House discussions. “It is a direct-action arm, totally off the books,” this person said, meaning the intelligence collected would not be shared with the rest of the CIA or the larger intelligence community.

Wow, I think such a plan might potentially count as treason in and of itself, irrespective of the seperate treason of having russia meddle in the election

56
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 02, 2017, 04:04:17 pm »
Some ideas:

*The first attempt to colonize Mars runs in to trouble when the planet is discovered to be overrun with the ghosts of violent religious fanatics, as per Dante

*A raunchy horror-comedy about a succubus who sucks people's souls through their penises

*One panel cartoon - Parent berates their toddler urging them to eat: "If you don't finish your food you'll never develop heart disease and diabetes"

EDIT:
Another idea:

*A commercial for male enhancement pills where Santa Claus testifies that he used "only come once a year" until he tried these pills

EDIT:
Another idea:

*A zombie apocalypse sweeps through a rutal redneck communiry. The average intelligence of the townspeople improves post-zombification due to having started so low

EDIT:
Another idea:

A crooked greedy televangelist is visited by three ghosts and taught not to be a greedy SOB

EDIT:
Another idea:

*There's a lot of shows out there where the premise is that it's somehow based on Sherlock Holmes except it's set in modern times, but I don't think I've ever seen one where the main character smokes a crack pipe. Think about it, what were Holmes famous vices? Pipe smoking and cocaine! I wanna see a show about a mystery solving crackhead.

EDIT:
Another idea:

Comedy skit: Pinhead co siders leaving the Order of the Gash and converting to Judaism but backs out when he finds out about circumcision.

57
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 24, 2017, 06:23:34 am »
I think I may have posted one or both of these ideas before, but I'm not sure so here goes:

*A bizarre retelling of the first Thanksgiving in which the teamup between the pilgrims and the natives results not from a famine but rather from the need to team up to defeat a nazi turkey named "Joseph Gobbles" (who is eventually killed with some kind of improvised flamethrower cobbled together from 17th cenyury items, thus creating the tradition of cooking turkeys)

*An action-adventure-fantasy movie that takes all the weirdest shit from the bible (ezekiel's angels, ezekiel's army of the dead, jacob's ladder, everything in revelations, etc) and related traditions (kaballah, gnosticism, the scene in the koran where the moon is split in half, etc) and combines it with the Cthulhu Mythos (including a conflation of Yog-Sothoth with YHVH-Sabaoth) and occasionallt fight choreography reminiscent of wuxia films - into an offensively scripturally inaccurate story about the Dagon worshipping Philistines and the Yog-Sothoth worshipping Canaanites fighting a war (all of the abovementioned things are shoehorned into a single war) against each other with both sides making heavy use of both black magic and hollywood martial arts.

58
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 16, 2017, 06:20:28 am »
A film adaptation of I Am Legend that goes in exactly the opposite direction of the 2007 Will Smith version. Instead of the twist ending being dropped it's not even a twist; it's clear from the beginning that there are no vampire-zombies, just a bunch of sunburnt aphasics and a psychotic doomsday prepper mad scientist who's jumped to some very extreme conclusions and ideally is played by Jeffrey Combs

EDIT:
Another idea:

A satirical holiday special revolvong around the birth of Mammon

59
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 11, 2017, 06:32:41 pm »
A porno about a gay threeway between Jesus, Moses, and Mohammed (Penises Be Upon Him)

60
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: November 09, 2017, 11:50:30 pm »
Does anybody here know anyone with the expertise to rig things so google searches for "the manchurian candidate" turn up Trump as the top result

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