I was thinking the other day..........

[The Lamanite]

Or maybe someone else was thinking it for me and I was just repeating it in my head but:


I walked into the acrcade in Video Blue. You know what i'm talking about, the Jerk off booths where you have to buy $3.00 worth of tokens, before they'll buzz you through. Anyways I noticed that nobody cleaned the booths in a good minute, and white crumpled tissue littered the floors and seats in every booth I checked( which wasn't very much considering that you don't know who's in each booth and it's kinda rude to be knockin on someones door mid-stroke).

And I sat in this jerk off booth in the state's rape capitol, and possibly the rape capitol of the country, it occured to me:

All of the booths had sound but everybody had the volume turned down. Everyone there (wich was probably 3 or 4 elderly males) had the volume down to 0. There wasn't even a faint grunt, a sound of flesh claping, or a hint of squishiness-there were almost no sound waves floating through the air.

Of course I wasn't there to pepper my meat this evening, I simply wanted the experience of seeing what it was all about. I was a curious little monkey so I inserted my token and was shocked to get my very first exposure to gay porn. Me being a straight male belted out with laughter and quickly changed the channel until I landed on some japeemation where a werewolf and a lizard-man were double stuffing a wonderfully drawn sailor moon type character, before they were all cut down by some japanese version of Oracle(remember from the He-man series?).

After spending my $3.00 worth of tokens and fullfilling my evening of entertainment, I stepped out to see a giant sign on the wall that I missed before.

"no lude conduct" it had two hands dripping and holding a tissue. The sign was placed right next to the tissue dispenser- The kind where it's like a paper towl size tissue, like in some Wal-mart bathrooms.

As I left the arcade and went back to browse the japeemation section to fullfill my new curiosity for Hentai, It dawned on me:

This place is covered in spank. Everything, everywhere, even the cashier, a large caucasion man with a mullet, kinda like the steroid injected version Joe Dirt- was amprehensive about touching anything in the store.

But not just in the  store, the whole block-

The bridal store across the street. Everything's probably touched up with someobody's dick fingers when they go back to check on their bride to be's shopping spree.

The diner on the corner, I can just picture the chef coming through for a quick spank before his shift or on his break.

The movie theatre around the block, makes me think twice before ordering buttered pop-corn.

But this is the part that really pisses me off....

My comic books. What kind of effect is semen going to have on my mint conditioned books? How many times a day does someone come through after a quick juicing session to place cum prints on the latest issue of spider-man? I hate to have one of these books pressed neatly in a cardboard backing and plastic bag, only to find out years later that the man-ly oils have destroyed the front cover.

But this anger actually liberated me, because I realize these books aren't worth saving unless you can read them, and they are bound to deteriate anyways.

But it's a false sense of freedom because everywhere I look now, I sense spank juice. It's all because of this mult-million dollar porn industry...........

The silence in that acrade made me realize that you don't need sound to jack off. Any one can be jacking off anywhere at any time, all they need is a few minutes of privacy.

Virtually everything you touch, ingest, interact with is subject to sombody's filthy palms.

[Jasper]

The world is a dirty place, because everyone with sexual organs wanks off almost constantly.

That's why I think true thinkers are all perverts and deviants, because it's probably ocurred to them that they're shaking hands with someone who fapped a few hours ago.

All except maybe a "handful" of them.

[Jasper]

Also, nice hat.

[Payne]

Yeah man, im *fap fap fap* while i read this.

Into a sock!

[LHX]

some people want to spray the entire planet with anti-bacterial anti-biotic dis-infectant


whats dirty?

who knows?

[The Lamanite]

Is the sock clean? Do you wash the sock before you wear it? I knew a kid used his shoe as a spit can for chewing tobacco during class. He would just lean over and spit down the side of his leg into his shoe and all that tangy goodness would be absorded in.

This is what i'm talking about, spank on the keyboard and mouse. Now when someone comes to check their e-mail they got spank on them too.

[LHX]

its funny how the most nutrient-dense and life-giving substance is generally seen as the most disgusting

its like its too powerful



also - most people are terrified of their own shit

like there is a difference between when it was inside them and when they dropped it in the can

[The Lamanite]

The ability to keep bodily fluids safely tucked away until it's time for show and tell should be an admirable virtue.


LHX, I don't know about that nutrient-dense idea, I mean it's not like it's edible to the point where we're bottling it.......maybe we should be?

[LHX]

yeah nobody wants to explode in the wrong context



i guess technically speaking - sperm banks bottle it

its nutrient dense - but its not for men


it makes women glow

[The Lamanite]

Everybody steals from work.

When I worked for Pizza Hut, I stole pizza and drank all the pop I wanted.

At my work now, I'll steal trash bags or paper towels from the janitor if I really need to.


What do you think people at sperm banks steal. Can you picture the nympho nurse taking sips from samples, or rich doctor types sitting around having semen cocktail parties?

[Payne]

yeah nobody wants to explode in the wrong context



i guess technically speaking - sperm banks bottle it

its nutrient dense - but its not for men


it makes women glow

[LHX]

Everybody steals from work.

When I worked for Pizza Hut, I stole pizza and drank all the pop I wanted.

At my work now, I'll steal trash bags or paper towels from the janitor if I really need to.


What do you think people at sperm banks steal. Can you picture the nympho nurse taking sips from samples, or rich doctor types sitting around having semen cocktail parties?

they prolly steal pens and notepads too


i havent met too many people that ever mentioned that they enjoy guzzling sperm

[The Lamanite]

I could introduce you to a few people........

[LHX]

i said i havent met too many


some




the image of a lab technician knocking back shots right now is making me laugh

you know it has happened

[Jasper]

People like what they like.

And yeah, you work someplace, you steal from it.  That's pretty much the MO.