Things about the AKK thread (which turned out to not be true)

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Synchronicity is a pretty cool guy. Makes improbable and doesn't afraid of statisticians.

[Sister_Gothique]

*smashes own face with hammer*

How come this didn't happen???? 

False advertisement.

[BadBeast]

note to the outlandish: If you're gonna lie, make sure the lie makes you sound cooler.

Excellent advice. Why bother to make something up that is going to be less awesome, or entertaining than the truth? That's just lazy and pointless.

Just been reading back through this thread, and there are some real gems of fail here. I never knew anyone could be so, . . . . .  like that. Well, I did, but still, to actually see some of it is a (briefly) sobering experience. And he does /b] date women. ""Modelesque" women.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Did I ever post the poems he sent me on OKCupid?

Title: Pushbutton Life

initializing program: pushbutton life
loading...error...error...error...guns level
my eyes. you cannot kill the candyman, but
he can, deliver your cold brains via U.P.S.
the jack of spades made all the fires crack--
such a lonely jack...always with brain waves
exploding, ever choking, never knowing;
a way to block out the machines...
because a little bit of noise goes a long
way. so still they breach; the devices
contorting, a mind unconforming, into a new
way. the twisting of ideals into trains of
thought colliding. wave hello and give a
matyr's smile to the dead man in the mirror--
i am all of the things that they said i
was--throwing stones in the glass house of
conscious... to redirect the lines...
but dwindling embers still remember...
a piston-pounding process...the method, the
path, the gun...

Losing Color

scraping noise inside my head
circles back upon itself
hollow memories left incomplete
dust collects upon the shelf

shattered mirror on the wall
these bitter winds rust life away
won't you madden me with your broken truths
or have you nothing left to say

Every day I spend in here
the walls continue getting thicker
Every day that I'm away
I feel myself becoming sicker

Is it white where you are
and have all of the seasons changed
I don't want to remember
one instance, one life time, all the same

Blinded by the bar codes in your eyes
no one will remember the sane
suicide angels uncreate
we never even knew your name

sever the stitch, bleeding out
hollow clockwork in dictions
overdrive darkness displacement
aphelion's aphasia written

All of this binary wisdom
it leads me to believe
that one day I'll find comfort in the chaos
as it slowly eats my dreams

Is it white where you are
and have all of the seasons changed
don't forget to regret
one instance, one life time, all the same

Yeah, I know... how could this man be single? HOLD ME BACK! Absolutely terrible. When I asked him about his publication credits, he said this:

I can't recall most of the publications I've been in, but the most notable are the "Who's who in poetry" collections from various publishing houses. I've also got a couple of lifetime memberships to poet societies that were awarded to me, editer's choice awards and that sort of thing. I'd have to dig it all up.

[BadBeast]

Is it white where you are?

This poetry is so very , . . unique, it should have a whole adjective to itself!

I thought this bit was particularly lail "always with brain waves
exploding, ever choking, never knowing"


"Every day I spend in here
the walls continue getting thicker
Every day that I'm away
I feel myself becoming sicker"

Just, wow.

 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, it's just AMAZING. 
Also, the who's who and treasuries are those books you pay them to print your poem in. He kinda stopped talking to me after I asked him about that.

[BadBeast]

People with his rare level of talent, quite often have glaring flaws, hiding somewhere, deep in their character. Does he not still post here?   

[BadBeast]

What I look for: (Mandatory for extended relations)

-good looking and healthy (historically I've dated models/modelesque women)

Does "modelesque" mean "Inflatable"?

When I do go out it's usually for a beer with an old friend I haven't seen in a bit or to catch a big IMAX 3d movie or something. Once in a while I perform or meet some new people, but it's pretty rare. I'm usually too caught up in business to "hang out" with people unless I'm seeing them.

A Billy no Mates then, with an inflatable girlfriend.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum... Omni ignotum pro magnificeo... Oderunt dum Metuant
Stuff and things... Pretending I speak Latin... I don't know, I have too many interests and I kind of let my mind wander where it will.

A Billy no Mates, with an inflatable girlfriend, attention deficit disorder and who speaks in tongues.
A bundle of different, random, thoughts and impulses, with no meatskills.

Movies:  If I had to pick one, it would probably be "Freddy got Fingered"

Now, while this is quite a funny film, if you could pick only one, would this be it? "Lookit me, I'm a FARMER!"

My taste for the darker side of art. My unique designed tattoos rich in symbolism. My 13 music records I've released. My Ambassador status for the ILP.

Not sure who the ILP are. Or how rich in symbolism his ink is. Or even how dark his art is.  But I do know 13 is an unlucky number. Especially if you are working on that "tricky" fourteenth Album.

Most of my childhood dreams I've already achieved, such as being internationally published, releasing a global music record,

And hes only 28 yrs old? Now I'm starting to think, why is he not blissfully entangled romantically with some supermodelesque?

It (discordianism) is extremely unfunny and most of its adherents are friendless autistic drama club nerds who quote endlessly from Monty Python and Douglas Adams when not in the comfort of their hugbox.

And

Adherents of the propaganda and other crap associated with this religion/joke/ploy, notably the roll of toilet paper known as the Principia Discordia, fall into five distinct groups. It is theorized by some that these are phases that each Discordian must go through on their path through life; these theorizers are sometimes known as Wicca and are ruthlessly mocked by actual people.

Or

Discordianism not just a seriously old meme; it is in fact a rather sneaky Illuminati trap designed to look like a religion to some, and like lulz to others. In this manner it seduces the unsuspecting based on their greatest weakness.

    Butthurting too.

[Adios]

People with his rare level of talent, quite often have glaring flaws, hiding somewhere, deep in their character. Does he not still post here?   

He is persona non grata

[BadBeast]

Oh well. His loss. I expect he's not even noticed, if his busy schedule, and hectic social life are anything to go by. Some people don't know when they are onto a good thing.

"Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you've got til , .

.everyone you ever knew, harbours nothing but whitehot hatred, and malice towards you, and even the man who used to sell the big issue, shuns you like a pariah.
And you have a phone, but no-one ever calls it. And a Website. (But traffic isn't what it was).
Outgrown  friends. Outgrown the need for any. Just as well. They'd just as soon stab you in the back! But not to your face.


Shit sorry, I'm typing out loud again! 

[AFK]

Well, I'm sure the poor souls at the Saratoga Springs Starbucks notice him, and wish he would go play on a street corner on the other side of town. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I was trying to explain AKK to Mr. Language last night, and his reaction was "I wish I had fabricated this guy, he sounds AMAZING!"

Seriously, truth is far more hilarious than fiction.

[Adios]

No shit. He isn't even here anymore and he's still trolling us.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

At this point, I think we're his biggest fans.

[Mangrove]

Dear Bad Beast,

I enjoyed your AKK analysis. If you would like to mine the remaining 30+ pages for me, that'd be great! 


Mangrove.