Poll

Who Wins?

Demi-Lich
21 (67.7%)
Tarrasque
10 (32.3%)

Total Members Voted: 31

Author Topic: WARNING: D&D TALK  (Read 76681 times)

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #135 on: August 31, 2009, 05:55:52 am »
http://www.cracked.com/article_17455_15-retarded-dungeons-dragons-monsters.html
What is it?

The Demi-lich is a soul-eating floating skull that bides its time on a galleon full of treasure waiting for the Goonies to show up.

Where it Went Wrong:

Besides looking like a Pirates of the Caribbean alarm clock, the Demi-lich seems to possess no tactical advantages of any kind. It just kind of floats around, waiting for a party of heroes to smack it out of the air like a pinata.

We suppose it could try to bite you, but the illustration above kind of makes it look like the jaw is fused in place. Man, now we just feel sorry for it. :lol:


Sure, but you've got to weigh that against the mythological tale of futility and uncanny misfortune from which the Tarrasque originally is originally derived...

Apparently, the mythological Tarrasque was a dragon or some such creature which was terrorizing the French counterside. It tore apart every army that was sent to stop it. However, Saint Martha convinced the beast to convert to Christianity and become a pacifist. Unfortunately for the tarrasque, however, it chose exactly the wrong time to decide to forswear all violence, for at exactly that moment an angry mob of villagers was marching out to tear it limb from limb; Normally, the villagers wouldn't have stood a chance, but due to the tarrasque's newfound pacifism, the villagers were able to slaughter it without suffering so much as a scraped ankle on their part.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarasque
« Last Edit: August 31, 2009, 05:57:27 am by Prelate Diogenes Shandor »
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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #136 on: August 31, 2009, 06:12:48 am »
If you have an overpriced high-end scientific calculator you could use its random number generator to stand in for any kind of dice that you want it to

I did this, it made my DM paranoid as hell.

NOT D&D.  

you could at least *try* to make that make sense.  Like wait until I'm talking about playing online instead of face to face, or talking about some specific edition.  Or even just 'if there's no dice its not D&D'

Really, you're starting to slip.
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rong

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #137 on: August 31, 2009, 07:33:28 am »
'if there's no dice its not D&D'

has a nice ring to it.

also - holyshitican'tbelievepeopleplaythisshitbutwhat'sblowingmymindevenmoreisthatireadthisstupidthread goplayoutside!
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #138 on: August 31, 2009, 03:27:59 pm »
you could at least *try* to make that make sense.

Yeah, I could.  But I won't.  We Holy Men™ are supposed to be all vague and shit.

Or even just 'if there's no dice its not D&D'

See?  You DID understand it.

Really, you're starting to slip.

Was that really necessary?  Oh, well, I suppose it was.  My response is, of course, for you to go fuck yourself with various garden impliments, and then to never, ever take you seriously again, as you have zero sense of proportion.

Good day.
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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #139 on: August 31, 2009, 03:31:57 pm »
http://www.cracked.com/article_17455_15-retarded-dungeons-dragons-monsters.html
What is it?

The Demi-lich is a soul-eating floating skull that bides its time on a galleon full of treasure waiting for the Goonies to show up.

Where it Went Wrong:

Besides looking like a Pirates of the Caribbean alarm clock, the Demi-lich seems to possess no tactical advantages of any kind. It just kind of floats around, waiting for a party of heroes to smack it out of the air like a pinata.

We suppose it could try to bite you, but the illustration above kind of makes it look like the jaw is fused in place. Man, now we just feel sorry for it. :lol:


Sure, but you've got to weigh that against the mythological tale of futility and uncanny misfortune from which the Tarrasque originally is originally derived...

Apparently, the mythological Tarrasque was a dragon or some such creature which was terrorizing the French counterside. It tore apart every army that was sent to stop it. However, Saint Martha convinced the beast to convert to Christianity and become a pacifist. Unfortunately for the tarrasque, however, it chose exactly the wrong time to decide to forswear all violence, for at exactly that moment an angry mob of villagers was marching out to tear it limb from limb; Normally, the villagers wouldn't have stood a chance, but due to the tarrasque's newfound pacifism, the villagers were able to slaughter it without suffering so much as a scraped ankle on their part.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarasque

What is it about monsters and the French countryside?  La Belle, which was some sort of giant, mutant wolf thing rampaged around the place for years too.  At least it didn't pussy out and become a pacifist though, they sent wolf-hunters to kill it.  Several times.

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #140 on: September 01, 2009, 12:11:34 am »
'if there's no dice its not D&D'

has a nice ring to it.

also - holyshitican'tbelievepeopleplaythisshitbutwhat'sblowingmymindevenmoreisthatireadthisstupidthread goplayoutside!

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- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
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Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #143 on: September 12, 2009, 02:45:29 am »
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #144 on: October 01, 2009, 02:20:49 am »
Have you seen the new version of the official D&D message board? Its the latest in a long line of betrayals by Wizards of the Coast
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #145 on: October 01, 2009, 03:45:58 am »
Heh, this thread makes me want to try playing D&D.

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #146 on: October 01, 2009, 07:25:44 pm »
The very fact you learned 4e instead of 3.5 will brand you as an annoying newb pretty much forever.   :argh!:

as long as you and your friends are having fun playing there is no wrong RPG system.  Anything else is misdirected nerd rage.

I never said it was a bad system.  Its just not D&D.

They turned D&D into a tactics based mini game.
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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #147 on: October 02, 2009, 02:02:28 pm »
Heh, this thread makes me want to try playing D&D.

what I think you'd dig about D&D is the ongoing lineage of betrayed fanboys

don't get me wrong, I'm a D&D fanboy


but when second edition came out, all the existing D&D players threw their d20s in the air and went waaaaaaaaah

and then when the third edition came out like 15 years later, all the D&D 2e players went WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, NOW YOU MEASURE THINGS IN SQUARES? omgWTF THIS ISN'T D&D

But some people loved it

and then a few years later, 3.5 came out, a slightly different / more streamlined version of 3rd edition.  And everyone that just sunk $200 on D&D 3.0 books went bawwwwwwwwwwww

but 3.5 was the most solid form of D&D yet.


and then 4.0 came out and all the 3.5 players went WHAT IS THIS SHIT, IT'S NOT EVEN D&D

and meanwhile, there are still first edition players out there who are like, "THERE USED TO BE ROLEPLAYING IN D&D BUT NOW EVERYBODY'S FORCED TO PLAY A MUNCHKIN IN A HACK AND SLASH CAMPAIGN"


I have friends that are still playing a second edition campaign because "it had the best roleplaying". ((And by this I think they mean nonweapon proficiencies?)) But I have to wonder, when they tried 3rd edition, did they stop roleplaying? Did they stop running puzzle encounters? Did they not use character backgrounds? If so, whose fault is that? It's a comment I genuinely don't understand. If the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle RPG was played by a group who wanted a RP-heavy game, it would be a RP-heavy game regardless of the system.

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #148 on: October 02, 2009, 02:54:32 pm »
Heh, this thread makes me want to try playing D&D.


NO. NOOOOOOOOOO. DONT DO IT.

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Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« Reply #149 on: October 02, 2009, 06:50:12 pm »
Heh, this thread makes me want to try playing D&D.

what I think you'd dig about D&D is the ongoing lineage of betrayed fanboys

don't get me wrong, I'm a D&D fanboy


but when second edition came out, all the existing D&D players threw their d20s in the air and went waaaaaaaaah

and then when the third edition came out like 15 years later, all the D&D 2e players went WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, NOW YOU MEASURE THINGS IN SQUARES? omgWTF THIS ISN'T D&D

But some people loved it

and then a few years later, 3.5 came out, a slightly different / more streamlined version of 3rd edition.  And everyone that just sunk $200 on D&D 3.0 books went bawwwwwwwwwwww

but 3.5 was the most solid form of D&D yet.


and then 4.0 came out and all the 3.5 players went WHAT IS THIS SHIT, IT'S NOT EVEN D&D

and meanwhile, there are still first edition players out there who are like, "THERE USED TO BE ROLEPLAYING IN D&D BUT NOW EVERYBODY'S FORCED TO PLAY A MUNCHKIN IN A HACK AND SLASH CAMPAIGN"


I have friends that are still playing a second edition campaign because "it had the best roleplaying". ((And by this I think they mean nonweapon proficiencies?)) But I have to wonder, when they tried 3rd edition, did they stop roleplaying? Did they stop running puzzle encounters? Did they not use character backgrounds? If so, whose fault is that? It's a comment I genuinely don't understand. If the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle RPG was played by a group who wanted a RP-heavy game, it would be a RP-heavy game regardless of the system.

My main beef with 4.0 is that they added lots of cool tactical elements (which I'll give them credit for,) but removed a lot of the non-tactical abilities of the various characters (mostly magic-users here,) and that the whole thing is a lot less customizable.  By non-tactical, I mean things like spells that last for more than 5 minutes, or have a range of longer than the average battle size but are still useful in a fight.  And a lot of abilities are only useful if you can use them twice in the same encounter - only the most basic attacks can be used more than once in a fight.  Sure, you can teleport at tactical speeds - but only 250' away - and you can't teleport back.  You have to walk.  So no grabbing a friend, teleporting him a safe place, and then returning to the fight.  And no trapping a creature in a tunnel with a pair of instant walls - you only get one wall per day.  No Charming every citizen of a town one by one, etc, etc.

More than that though, is the customability factor.  Two member of the same class in 4.0 mostly vary only by abilities chosen, and since almost all the abilities are combat focused, it's less a matter of what your character does than how he does it.

It's still a roleplaying game, and not a terrible system in and of itself, it's just as different from 3.5 as 3.5 is from GURPS or HeroSystem.
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