A question of etiquette.

[Salty]

I was out the other night, trying new things, making new friends, eventually getting laid. Woot.

But there was this incident that took place in the bathroom at the karaoke bar that troubles me. It's something that has happened consistently through my life, and coupled with my desire to be less complacent, it has left me perplexed.

I was standing at the urinal, conducting business as usual. Two gym-rat meatheads walk in.
One goes to the urinal next to me. The other stands in the corner waiting.

The first one says "Hey dude, don't worry, this guy is almost done."
The second says "Yeah, but would anybody mind if I pissed on him?"

Now...this is just the sort of male dick shaking that I've tried to avoid my whole life. And I've been at the receiving end for as long as I can remember. Despite never having been in a fight, my first desire is to shove my fist into his throat for talking to me like that. Or, at the very least, to ask him what the fuck his problem is and why does he have to be such a cock.

But, as per usual, I act like nothing was said, wash my hands and go about my business. I'm at the point now where something like that doesn't leave me anxiety-ridden for weeks, questioning my worth as a human being.

But what the fuck is the APPROPRIATE response to something like that? How the hell would YOU react to that?

I'm thinking about buying a taser/pepper spray all in one thingy.

[Doktor Howl]

My reaction would be to ignore it, and wait for the guy to start pissing, while you wash your hands.

Then turn around and stomp on the back of his knee.  Face ---->  Urinal.

[Salty]

Hm...so think tactically instead of reacting emotionally.

I can get behind that.

[NotPublished]

Dok has the right idea ... I think if that happened to me I'd try turn it into a joke ...

I'm not sure how to react to something like that, I'd probably say Only if I get to Pee on you.

[Doktor Howl]

Hm...so think tactically instead of reacting emotionally.

I can get behind that.

Obviously.  That way, HE'S the one collecting his teeth from the urinal, not you.

[Eater of Clowns]

As someone whose ass could get (though never has been) beaten by a couple of meatheads, I think a good reply is a simple, direct "I would fuckin' mind."

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Appropriate response: Wait until he starts pissing, and tell him "That'd be pretty kinky."

[Brotep]

Appropriate response: Wait until he starts pissing, and tell him "That'd be pretty kinky."

 That could backfire horribly.

I'm of the nonviolent but nonchalant school of thought: just turn around and piss all over him

[Reginald Ret]

Appropriate response: Wait until he starts pissing, and tell him "That'd be pretty kinky."

 That could backfire horribly.

I'm of the nonviolent but nonchalant school of thought: just turn around and piss all over him

That would get your ass kicked.
just walk out of the toilet and wait untill they come out.
then scream "They tried to rape me!"

[Adios]

I would simply invite him to go ahead and try.

But I'm the kind of asshat that would rather get a beating than put up with shit.

[Triple Zero]

Dok has the right idea ... I think if that happened to me I'd try turn it into a joke ...

I'm not sure how to react to something like that, I'd probably say Only if I get to Pee on you.

If you don't want to get violent about it, I think this is the most proper response that would leave you dignity (for not just letting it pass), yet is not very likely to get you beat up, unless they happen to be all amped up on coke or something. So if possible check the look in their eyes because remember you are the one with your pants down at that moment.

Enki's suggestion is likely to backfire, in the sense that the guy just might turn around and indeed pee all over you. Especially likely if they're somewhat drunk on alcohol.

If you don't mind getting violent, Dok's suggestion is the most tactical. But it really depends on the environment. I would never do this. It would be purposefully escalating a verbal attack into something physical, which goes against my own principles and those of everyone I know IRL [same with the punch-in-the-face solution to the arrogant D&D PC in another thread]. Plus, you'd have to leave the bar after that, right? I mean yeah, you'd be able to get out of the bathroom in the confusion that results, dissolve in the crowd if there is one, but they know your face and you'd have two assholes that you have to keep an eye on for the rest of the evening. Who knows next time you go into the bathroom they come after you and return the favour? After all, it was only the element of surprise that let you get away with it the first time, given that they are gymrat meatheads and Alty is not (unless he is, I dunno).

[Suu]

Walk away. The answer is walk away unless they touch you. And considering that they're meatheads, they probably won't do anything except for say shit anyway.

You're not a pussy if you do this.

You're not liable for anything.

[Adios]

Walk away. The answer is walk after you stomp on their knees completely destroying every tendon and ligament. They will remember this night every step they take for the rest of their lives.

Hawk
doesn't believe in non-violence.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I would say your reaction to this depends seriously on how many friends you are with and what their reaction would be.

Now me, I roll with a pretty ghetto assed group.  If I came out of the bathroom and told them something like that had been said to me, they would be all up ready to cut somebody.  They have my back and I know it and that can tend to allow me to be a bit bitchier than I would be if I were alone or with other friends who would run screaming and crying to the nearest starbucks for a latte.

Walking away is definately the safest route.  Too bad you don't know what they were driving.   

[Suu]

Walk away. The answer is walk after you stomp on their knees completely destroying every tendon and ligament. They will remember this night every step they take for the rest of their lives.

Hawk
doesn't believe in non-violence.

I don't believe in assault charges. However, like I said, the minute they land their hand on you, it's fair game to twist their neck off.