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OK fuckers, let me out of here. I farted for you, what more do you want from me? Jesus fuck.

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FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

Started by Cramulus, June 22, 2010, 02:44:42 PM

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Freeky

#390
April 08, 2011, 09:00:31 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 08, 2011, 08:57:15 PM
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.


"Oh, I just ate another"  ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.

I KNOW RIGHT? THESE TURD RACING ASSMONKEYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN VERBALLY.  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT. FUCK!

Da6s

#391
April 08, 2011, 09:02:55 PM
Quote from: Jenkem and Bubble Baths on April 08, 2011, 09:00:31 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on April 08, 2011, 08:57:15 PM
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.


"Oh, I just ate another"  ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.

I KNOW RIGHT? THESE TURD RACING ASSMONKEYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN VERBALLY.  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT. FUCK!

HEY!
FUCK YOU BOTH. I HAD A LATE GOD DAMNED START. IM FUCKING WORKING ON BRINGING THE PAIN FOR YOU FUCKING ORANGINAS
We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human

Requia ☣

#392
April 08, 2011, 09:04:23 PM
Very well.

Fuckers I ate 10 oranges already, and this counts as a NORMAL GODDAMED DAY for me.

That better?
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

Jasper

#393
April 08, 2011, 09:05:44 PM
I'M GETTING RENAISSANCE ON THESE MOTHERFUCKERS.

WHAT'S THAT, I HEAR YOU ASKING?

IT INVOLVES A FLYING SCREW, A NEW APPROACH TO METAPHYSICS, A PLAGUE, A STEAM CANNON, AND A VICIOUSLY REDECORATED CHURCH CEILING.

Thurnez Isa

#394
April 08, 2011, 09:07:10 PM
9
My stomach is ironically very stable, full, but I feel really sluggish for some reason. I thought vitamin C was suppose to make you feel better.

After this craziness I plan to go to McDonalds (haven't been there in years)

I have no plans in surviving this day.
Through me the way to the city of woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost.
Justice moved my maker on high.
Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and Primal love.
Before me nothing was but things eternal, and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.
Dante

Da6s

#395
April 08, 2011, 09:11:06 PM
Quote from: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 09:07:10 PMAfter this craziness I plan to go to McDonalds haven't been there in years)


I ate a god damned burrito from Chipotle between oranges 1 and 2.

I may not win the consumption contest, but I'll be GOD DAMNED if I don't fucking win superlative for the worst case of rim burn.
We appear to be doomed by our DNA to repeat the same destructive behaviors our forebears have repeated for millenia. If anything our problem solving skills have actually diminished with the advent of technology & our ubiquitous modern conveniences. & yet despite our predisposition towards fear-driven hostility; towards what we anachronistically term primitive behavior another instinct is just as firmly encoded in our make-up. We are capable as our ancestors were of incredible breathtaking acts of kindness. Every hour of every day a man risks his life at a moments notice to save another. Forget for a moment the belligerent benevolent billionaires who grant the unfortunate a crumb of costfree cake. I speak of pure acts of selflessness. A Mother who rushes into the street to save a child from a speeding vehicle. A person who runs into a burning building to reach a family trapped on the upper story. Such actions,such moments,such unconscious selfless decisions,define what it is to be human

Fractalbeard

#396
April 08, 2011, 09:11:13 PM
Do you want to know why everyone is being calm?

It's because ALL OF THESE SPUNK MONKEYS KNOW THAT I AM THE SUPERIOR ORANGE CONSUMING MACHINE AND THAT I AM GOING TO WIN THE PRIZE*, FOR I'M GOING TO DEVOUR ANOTHER BAG TONIGHT LIKE THE FUCKING ORANGE EATING LEVIATHAN THAT I AM!

The prize, of course, being a two night stay in my bathroom.
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insuficiently advanced.

Jasper

#397
April 08, 2011, 09:13:56 PM
FOUR DOWN.  THIRTEEN TO GO.  YOU FUCKS SHOULD JUST QUIT WHILE YOU HAVE AN ASS, AND SEND ME YOUR GODDAMNED ORANGES.

Thurnez Isa

#398
April 08, 2011, 09:16:36 PM
I HIT 10 CARA CARA'S
break time
I think my body has died but my brain hasn't figured it out yet.
soooo bloated
Through me the way to the city of woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost.
Justice moved my maker on high.
Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and Primal love.
Before me nothing was but things eternal, and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.
Dante

Freeky

#399
April 08, 2011, 09:18:00 PM
WHATEVS, SIGGY.  YOU BEST PUT ON A PRETTY DRESS AND CALL ME YOUR DADDY, BECAUSE YOU'LL BE BEGGING ME TO STOP FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS, YES

THE ASS

WHEN I START EATING MY FUCKING ORANGES.  ALL OF YOU, IN FACT, WILL BE DOWN ON YOUR KNEES SUCKING MY AWESOMELY HUGE ORANGE EATING COCK, CRYING AND PLEADING NOT TO FUCK YOU ANYMORE.

Jasper

#400
April 08, 2011, 09:22:18 PM
PROMISES, FRACTURE.  NAVEL ORANGE NUMBER FIVE, INDEED FIVE, WOULD HAVE WORDS WITH YOUR SILLY LITTLE TANGELOS.

Freeky

#401
April 08, 2011, 09:24:09 PM
FUCK ME RUNNING, BUT YOU GOT SOME BALLS, DON'T YOU? YOU KNOW THE ADVANTAGE OF NOT PARTICIPATING IN ROUND 1? I CAN BUY MORE ORANGES BEFORE HAND, AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR PASTY ASS.

WHAT.

Thurnez Isa

#402
April 08, 2011, 09:25:04 PM
huh
if my pee was anymore yellow it would be glowing
Through me the way to the city of woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost.
Justice moved my maker on high.
Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and Primal love.
Before me nothing was but things eternal, and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.
Dante

Jasper

#403
April 08, 2011, 09:26:37 PM
YOU CAN TRY, BUT SOON THE STREAM OF USED ORANGES COMING OUT OF ME WILL BE SOLID ENOUGH TO PRESSURE WASH MY CAR.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#404
April 08, 2011, 09:27:01 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on April 08, 2011, 09:13:56 PM
FOUR DOWN.  THIRTEEN TO GO.  YOU FUCKS SHOULD JUST QUIT WHILE YOU HAVE AN ASS, AND SEND ME YOUR GODDAMNED ORANGES.

WAIT, YOU'RE EATING SEVENTEEN OF THE MOTHERFUCKERS? FUUUUUUUUCK

THAT MEANS I HAVE TO GO BUY TWO MORE.

LMNO MY EXPERIENCE FROM LAST YEAR IS THAT THERE'S SO MUCH FIBER IN THESE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT IT WILL FUCK YOU THE FUCK UP AND YOUR GUT WILL BE STUFFED FULL OF ORANGE FIBER, MAKING YOU SLUGGISH AND SAD AND BLOATED. I WISH I WAS EATING VALENCIAS NOW BUT VALENCIAS ARE FOR PUSSIES 'CAUSE THEY'RE LITTLE JUICY MOTHERFUCKERS. VALENCIAS ARE FOR FUCKERS WHO CAN'T

FACE THE FIBER.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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