Author Topic: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST  (Read 108533 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #930 on: February 26, 2016, 09:55:26 pm »
Say goodbye to your lower intestine

I will when my soul exits stage left.

BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

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"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
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Cain

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #931 on: February 26, 2016, 11:55:57 pm »
Say goodbye to your lower intestine

I will when my soul exits stage left.

BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!

Your soul will no doubt exit your body alongside your bowels and a copious amount of blood.

Cain,
has seen this sort of thing before

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #932 on: February 27, 2016, 12:27:51 am »
Say goodbye to your lower intestine

I will when my soul exits stage left.

BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!

Your soul will no doubt exit your body alongside your bowels and a copious amount of blood.

Cain,
has seen this sort of thing before

Well if you have sincere concern for me I appreciate it. I don't intend to fuck myself up and believe I have a workable gastric techne in mind. It's likely to ease the acid and fiberous factors but the trade-off will likely be... olfactory. If I see blood in either puke or feces I will stop. If it persists I'll go to a hospital.


BUT SUCH CONSIDERATIONS ARE NOT HOW A JOB BEGINS!! I WILL EAT ORANGES AMD SHIT SOLID GOLD THAT WILL WITHSTAND THE TEST OF ETERNITY!!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #933 on: February 27, 2016, 04:15:24 am »
Came to chill with some of my friends and told them what's going down, as it were. They believe in me and just so happened to have a very suspicious looking organic orange and gave it to me in approval. This one doesn't count. I begin my countdown at midnight Central time. About 2 hours from now. On my way home I shall pick up the oranges. On a scouting mission this morning I discovered that oranges, seedless navels, are on sale!  I brought some in to work and gave them away to my co-workers explaining that a friend had suffered a tragic death. They're well used to my oddities and some sincerely expressed their sympathies.

The oranges are reportedly nice and sweet.  Excellent. I brought 5 bags and they ate all of them. Circumstances are favorable for my task.


Supply acquired, and there's nobody in heaven and earth that can or will stop me.


THIS ONE IS JUST MY FIRST AS A WARM UP.

There will be pics as needed for proof.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #934 on: February 27, 2016, 12:31:19 pm »
Well it's been a good night. I bought THREE WHOLE BAGS

THAT'S 36 BEAUTIFUL, SEEDLESS AND DELICIOUS INDIVIDUAL PIECES OF GLORY AND I'VE ALREADY CONSUMED 6!

THAT'S 6 MOTHERFUCKERS EATEN BY 2AM AND A HAVE 18 HRS TO GO!!! I'M ALREADY PASSING THEM SMOOTH AS FUCK!!! WHAT WAS ALL THIS FUSS ABOUT?! I'M GONNA EAT 6 MORE AND GET A FEW HOURS OF SLEEP!! THAT TOTAL WILL BE 12 BEFORE I COME BACK AFTER I WAKE UP!!!!!


The smell isn't so bad yet, but this is including what I had for supper before midnight. The 2 small containers of Oikos "triple zero" Greek yoghurt I had with them did the trick. I'll have to up the ante...


I THINK I'LL MAKE IT 8 MORE BEFORE I SNORE!!!!!!!!
That's going to be 14 before half the day passes.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

Vanadium Gryllz

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #935 on: February 27, 2016, 01:56:57 pm »
RIP in pieces
"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #936 on: February 27, 2016, 04:18:22 pm »
The vitamin C will  make up for it I'm sure.
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Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #937 on: February 27, 2016, 04:29:10 pm »
The first orange is away.

This is delicious, I regret nothing. Pics forthcoming once my phone charges.

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #938 on: February 27, 2016, 05:12:36 pm »


I am halfway orange #3 and it doesn't look like food anymore.

Cain

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #939 on: February 27, 2016, 05:46:02 pm »
It looks like unprocessed poop, and blood.

Which is a funny coincidence, because...

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #940 on: February 27, 2016, 05:48:36 pm »
It looks like unprocessed poop, and blood.

Which is a funny coincidence, because...

I am a poop and blood processor?

Junkenstein

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #941 on: February 27, 2016, 06:02:26 pm »
In about 12-18 hours, depending on quantity and sleeping, yes.
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LMNO

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #942 on: February 27, 2016, 07:17:48 pm »
I really can't believe this is happening again.

Best reboot of Groundhog Day ever.

Pope Pixie Pickle

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #943 on: February 27, 2016, 07:41:29 pm »
I ate 18 sanguinello blood oranges. Apparently you need bigger oranges to induce intestinal distress. I have notoriously irritable bowels as well.
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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #944 on: February 27, 2016, 07:46:02 pm »
I'm still on orange #5

I'm so hungry and full at the same time. Something smells bad and I don't know if it's me. There's still 12 left just in the first bag.