Author Topic: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST  (Read 108371 times)

Cain

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #960 on: February 27, 2016, 11:44:38 pm »







Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #961 on: February 27, 2016, 11:58:39 pm »
There is pizza in the office now. I really want some.

GUESS I'LL HAVE ANOTHER ORANGE

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #962 on: February 28, 2016, 12:25:12 am »
Caved and ate a slice of pizza. Next orange is penance.

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #963 on: February 28, 2016, 12:47:00 am »
Caved and ate a slice of pizza. Next orange is penance.

It is acceptable to stumble upon the path. With ORANGES persistence is redemption!










CAIN THOSE MADE ME ALMOST FIRE HOT ACID UP MY NOSE!!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

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"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
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The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #964 on: February 28, 2016, 01:35:30 am »
I just ripped a series of farts and the cloying citrus in my sinuses is blending with it horrifically.

I can feel them in there
A PERSIAN ARMY TAKING IT'S TIME APPROACHING. I HAVE FIVE LEFT TO EAT AND GLADLY SEND THEM AS A REARGUARD TO THEIR DOOMED FELLOWS!!

My fingertips are numb and my nails throb. The taste in my mouth is bitter unless I'm actually eating an orange. Then for a few brief moments I get a bit of spiteful respite from the juicy sweetness that is my acidy doom!! It's short lived and the bitterness returns stronger.

5 to go.
Somehow.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #965 on: February 28, 2016, 02:04:54 am »
The memory
of this bitter
victory
goes to NIGEL

In honor of her
terrible loss
let none say
that they know
The Struggle.

None do.



Hang in there Nigel!!
Your record now
stands at 32!!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #966 on: February 28, 2016, 03:03:57 am »
So I just took my first horrid shit and you wanna know what was weirder than the poo? It was clearly remembering from my dream the "Diogenes" figure taking a squat while a bunch of aristocratic folk were looking on in horror while ORANGE projectile poo spattered everywhere. The poo looked EXACTLY the same. The "original" The Aristocrats joke in a sense.

I don't have the guts to do a full write up of a story just now, but the framework I remember went something like Diogenes and company, being poor by choice, came upon an ORANGE GROVE not far outside of the city of Athens. These were wild ORANGES now, very unlike our tame-ass store bought modern oranges. They were at first overjoyed by the seemingly endless supply of hard to open but sweet and delicious fruit, but the ORANGES had other intentions, being almost perfect darwinian engines of genetic proliferation. But of course the Dog and his pack had no idea, and no concern in their joy at having SO MUCH FOOD!

It was probably Eris' personal ORANGE GROVE, but that's me speculating and expanding on the dream memory. I'm pretty sure I can piece a plot together. But now I'm about to go again.

Lab results pending... This one is going to hurt, I can tell. It's GAS! IT'S VERY UNPLEASANT!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #967 on: February 28, 2016, 04:43:02 am »
You know, Net almost died from that shit, right?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
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 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #968 on: February 28, 2016, 05:14:26 am »
Nigel sez:
"WTF is wrong with you idiots? I love you stupid motherfuckers."

I say:
KEEP FUCKING EATING. Emotionally, I am tepid.*

















*Not true. I love you too.  Stop it.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

East Coast Hustle

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #969 on: February 28, 2016, 05:53:55 am »
Until somebody else eats 4 pounds of grapes in one day, I'm not even remotely impressed with any of this.

Oranges are so bush-league.

ECH,
Asswine > Poodriver
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Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #970 on: February 28, 2016, 10:49:36 am »
You know, Net almost died from that shit, right?

I felt the very strong need to do something pointless and stupid. I didn't know how bad it had gotten for Net until after I'd committed myself. I wasn't too worried for me but I sure didn't take the task lightly. Oranges are horrible and I'm never doing this again.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #971 on: February 28, 2016, 10:51:11 am »
Nigel sez:
"WTF is wrong with you idiots? I love you stupid motherfuckers."

I say:
KEEP FUCKING EATING. Emotionally, I am tepid.*

















*Not true. I love you too.  Stop it.

It's done. 32 down. Hugs and strength to you both!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #972 on: February 28, 2016, 10:53:16 am »
Until somebody else eats 4 pounds of grapes in one day, I'm not even remotely impressed with any of this.

Oranges are so bush-league.

ECH,
Asswine > Poodriver

If that's a challenge... I'm good. Perhaps in a few months.  :)

Fruit is a helluva drug!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #973 on: February 28, 2016, 08:03:50 pm »

I felt the very strong need to do something pointless and stupid.

Sure, we all do.  That's why we have feuds.  Anyways, you can always go alley-blasting, or picking up women in Sheboygan.  There's no need to shove a quart or so of citric acid into your digestive tract.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #974 on: February 28, 2016, 08:39:17 pm »
I woke up feeling fantastic! First shit was.... interesting, but otherwise not feeling bad at all.

I think if there was more peer pressure I could have done better than an even dozen. Joe exceeded all expectations.