TGRR's Relationship Advice Thread.

[Suu]

I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".

Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.

Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".

Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.

Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.

THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.

[Suu]

I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".

Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.

Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.

THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.

I filled a bath towel with snot while I cried a couple weeks ago. That's fucking impressive by my standards. I swear, I've never breathed better...

When I have a hard cry (especially one that continues for days) my nose produces more mucus than I swear is humanly possible. I hate crying. I hate the pain, and I know damn well this sure as hell isn't going to be the last time I feel it. But then, I look back at how fucking ridiculous it is that I have that much shit pouring out of my face, and I make myself laugh.

But, all in all, I can say I've had worse. I'm actually feeling pretty damn good right now, considering. Ask me that 2 weeks after Herbert left me, and you'd think I was on the verge of death. I mean, that involved physical ACHING pain from every corner of my body like I had the flu for a month.

It's pretty amazing, if not frightening, the power the mind has over the body, and the pain that accompanies true heartbreak.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".

Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.

Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.

THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.

Goddamn, this is my new favorite saying.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".

Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.

Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.

I can't handle being much stronger. I need to wreck something.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".

Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.

Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.

THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.

I filled a bath towel with snot while I cried a couple weeks ago. That's fucking impressive by my standards. I swear, I've never breathed better...

When I have a hard cry (especially one that continues for days) my nose produces more mucus than I swear is humanly possible. I hate crying. I hate the pain, and I know damn well this sure as hell isn't going to be the last time I feel it. But then, I look back at how fucking ridiculous it is that I have that much shit pouring out of my face, and I make myself laugh.

But, all in all, I can say I've had worse. I'm actually feeling pretty damn good right now, considering. Ask me that 2 weeks after Herbert left me, and you'd think I was on the verge of death. I mean, that involved physical ACHING pain from every corner of my body like I had the flu for a month.

It's pretty amazing, if not frightening, the power the mind has over the body, and the pain that accompanies true heartbreak.

It's true. Love is chemically almost identical to opiate addiction, and the withdrawal from a bad breakup is absolutely physically debilitating. Night sweats, aches, nausea, the whole nine yards. It's not the "mind", it's simply chemistry... the brain in love is physically addicted. The more invested/connected/committed you are, the worse the addiction, and the harder the withdrawal.

If you can laugh at or produce art from the intensity of the withdrawal symptoms, it's truly making the most of things. Many many great artists and writers have produced amazing work during the agonies of detox.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

How do I meet these hot protester women that aren't interested in patchouli soaked bongos, wanton violence with police, or being homeless by choice? They all seem to be taken....

By the way, all those cool stories you heard about women in the late 60s/early 70s?

Yeah.  There was about a dozen of them.  Total.  And they all fit into at least one of the catagories you mention above.

I was hoping the answer to this question would be 'Go to a Tea Party rally'.

Oh, you're after huge chicks with false teeth.

Why the hell didn't you say so?  Look, save the rally bullshit, and just head down to the nearest bar that hasn't got a level floor but does have karaoke.  Drink 6 rums, strong ones.

Thank me later.

Pope Tom stole my line, though. I set that up, you fuck!

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Dear Reverend;

I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly.    Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation.  Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

[Suu]

I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".

Bullshit, you're a strong, intelligent woman. Men just can't handle the amount of sheer omnipotent power you exert.

Sure, you're suffering through a heartbreak right now, so am I, and although our situations are very different (and Roger will probably yell at me for feeling anything at all), and the way we each feel is probably VERY different, I know that in the end, we'll both be stronger people for it.

THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU MERELY HURTS REALLY, REALLY BAD.

I filled a bath towel with snot while I cried a couple weeks ago. That's fucking impressive by my standards. I swear, I've never breathed better...

When I have a hard cry (especially one that continues for days) my nose produces more mucus than I swear is humanly possible. I hate crying. I hate the pain, and I know damn well this sure as hell isn't going to be the last time I feel it. But then, I look back at how fucking ridiculous it is that I have that much shit pouring out of my face, and I make myself laugh.

But, all in all, I can say I've had worse. I'm actually feeling pretty damn good right now, considering. Ask me that 2 weeks after Herbert left me, and you'd think I was on the verge of death. I mean, that involved physical ACHING pain from every corner of my body like I had the flu for a month.

It's pretty amazing, if not frightening, the power the mind has over the body, and the pain that accompanies true heartbreak.

It's true. Love is chemically almost identical to opiate addiction, and the withdrawal from a bad breakup is absolutely physically debilitating. Night sweats, aches, nausea, the whole nine yards. It's not the "mind", it's simply chemistry... the brain in love is physically addicted. The more invested/connected/committed you are, the worse the addiction, and the harder the withdrawal.

If you can laugh at or produce art from the intensity of the withdrawal symptoms, it's truly making the most of things. Many many great artists and writers have produced amazing work during the agonies of detox.

I had a bad bout of night sweats last week over this. Even after I took off layers of blankets and stripped down to my skivvies (it's in the 30s-40s here at night now...and we don't have the heat on just yet.) I still woke up drenched.

Also. I wrote a book.

Like, a for real one. I had started it back after we got home from Pennsic, because I wanted a short tale about us, but then suddenly, I had a novella. The day we broke up, he told me to still finish it, so I mentally changed the ending. The day last week when shit really hit the fan, the ending shifted into a much darker, more insulting place for him to be, and I have to admit, this is the best catharsis I have ever found. It stopped me from plotting truly evil, devilish, life-ruining (but juvenile) revenge. Shit like this twists knives better. After all, he did tell me not to stop writing...

"I will obliterate you in fiction." Chaucer, from A Knight's Tale

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Reverend;

I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly.    Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation.  Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...

[Lenin McCarthy]

I'm a shy and somewhat socially dysfunctional teenager. Where can I get one of those pussy magnets?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm a shy and somewhat socially dysfunctional teenager. Where can I get one of those pussy magnets?

You can't.  They are being withheld by the FDA until their crack ICP team discovers how they function.

Now, if you want to meet a girl, allow me to suggest that you talk to some girls.  In real life.

[Cramulus]

Dear Roger:

I'm almost a year away from my breakup, and I haven't really gotten back into dating. Not cause of sadness or anything like that. Basically my problem is twofold:

(1) Recently, I have found "socializing at bars" to be boring as hell -- I spend like 20 minutes there and I'm ready to go home

(2) I guess I just don't give a shit? I'm comfortable being single and not getting laid. The drama in my life is at an extreme minimum. And that means if I see a girl who I want to flirt with, my "eh who cares" threshold is set absurdly low.

Something seems not right about it, it feels a little unhealthy to be so divested. The hilarious Craigslist ad you wrote for me was awesome - it made me aware that I need more LIFE in my life. I know, intellectually, that I need to get out of the monastery/waffle house a bit more. But I'm having a really hard time working up the GO power. I spent my college years with my fly unzipped OR head over heels about a girl -- and now it seems like a waste of time. And that can't be right, right?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Roger:

I'm almost a year away from my breakup, and I haven't really gotten back into dating. Not cause of sadness or anything like that. Basically my problem is twofold:

(1) Recently, I have found "socializing at bars" to be boring as hell -- I spend like 20 minutes there and I'm ready to go home

Bars are a TERRIBLE place to meet people.  Go hit a gallery opening, or a similar event...Where there's something going on besides you looking.

(2) I guess I just don't give a shit? I'm comfortable being single and not getting laid. The drama in my life is at an extreme minimum. And that means if I see a girl who I want to flirt with, my "eh who cares" threshold is set absurdly low.

Something seems not right about it, it feels a little unhealthy to be so divested. The hilarious Craigslist ad you wrote for me was awesome - it made me aware that I need more LIFE in my life. I know, intellectually, that I need to get out of the monastery/waffle house a bit more. But I'm having a really hard time working up the GO power. I spent my college years with my fly unzipped OR head over heels about a girl -- and now it seems like a waste of time. And that can't be right, right?

A waste of time?  WTF?  That's what you're supposed to do at that age.

Hell, I was still doing that when I zoomed past 40.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dear Reverend;

I have my first date tonight in too many years to admit openly.    Any advice to keep me from making a complete ass out of myself and still carry on a conversation.  Having "drinks" at 7 and I am (at least at this moment) smart enough to NOT drink more than one drink.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

I'll PM you, because this thread is apparently now about HEARTACHE, IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK...

Sorry Roger, I'll chill the fuck out on it. Plus, depending on how the upcoming week goes, I'll probably be asking you for more relationship advice, you being my love guru and all.