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I think I have my noob addiction under control finally.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 06, 2012, 08:41:42 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

January 06, 2012, 08:41:42 PM
I have this shit down.  I'm in control.  I can quit anytime I want.

TAKE IT ALL, YOU FILTHY SLAG OF A DESK DRAWER!  YOU'VE GOT A SEXY FUCKING HANDLE!  YOU WANT IT, YOU KNOW YOU DO...

Um, anyway.  I've been thinking about 9 years of noob-bashing, and how it's ruined my life.  I used to have it all...A big house, a lovely wife, 2.5 children (Little Billy lost his legs on the merry go round).  I had this wonderful life, but I JUST COULDN'T STOP HUFFING NOOBS.  One day, I woke up with crusted Roger juice all over my ankles, under the Ajo Street bridge, wondering how I got there and why there were divorce papers shoved up my colon, right through the seam of my filthy & stiff jeans.

It seems 9 years sort of went by in an intoxicated blur of happy-slapping noobs.  I'd be all fucked up in church, at PTA meetings, staying out late while the wife wondered where I was, and then stopped caring.   And so there I was, at rock bottom, and now I need to climb back out.  And I need YOUR HELP.

Which brings me to the zits on my ass. They need love too. Just like Newt needs his alien love bride and Barney needs Wilma when Fred ain't around, my ass zits need the love of every fucking idiot on this forum. I want to see a lot less hate around here and a lot more love for my ass zits. I want boxes of roses delivered to my ass zits on a daily basis starting right fucking now, because I love all of you, really.

Hang on.  I seem to have my junk trapped in my desk drawer.  There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, but I have to deal with it before I explain it.  Can someone call the Help Desk?

Or Hug Me, Ya Big Galoot.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#1
January 06, 2012, 08:44:43 PM
 :horrormirth:  :lulz: :horrormirth:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
January 06, 2012, 08:45:02 PM
I got no decent response to that.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
January 06, 2012, 08:45:39 PM
Quote from: Nigel on January 06, 2012, 08:45:02 PM
I got no decent response to that.

No decent person would.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#4
January 06, 2012, 08:48:37 PM
It took a lot of self control not to bellow out laughing there.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
January 06, 2012, 08:49:44 PM
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on January 06, 2012, 08:48:37 PM
It took a lot of self control not to bellow out laughing there.

I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my head has been in a very strange place for the last week or so.  Not sure why that is.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#6
January 06, 2012, 08:52:39 PM
I noticed. Mine has been too. But not like this.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#7
January 06, 2012, 08:53:58 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 06, 2012, 08:49:44 PM
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on January 06, 2012, 08:48:37 PM
It took a lot of self control not to bellow out laughing there.

I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my head has been in a very strange place for the last week or so.  Not sure why that is.

It has been highly entertaining, if mildly frightening.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
January 06, 2012, 09:02:15 PM
Quote from: Nigel on January 06, 2012, 08:53:58 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 06, 2012, 08:49:44 PM
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on January 06, 2012, 08:48:37 PM
It took a lot of self control not to bellow out laughing there.

I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my head has been in a very strange place for the last week or so.  Not sure why that is.

It has been highly entertaining, if mildly frightening.

I think it needs bourbon.  And pills.  And smokes.  And Enabler.  And one of those cricket bats, for explaining my position to the religious nut neighbor.  And the wall, oh yes, the fucking wall.  It needs another offering, and I am a little short of breath, which means I also need AIR, which in turn means PISS POOR DRIVING AT HIGH SPEED AND LADY GAGA ON THE RADIO.

Whoa, hold it together there, Roger.  It's just a little stress from work, you know, just a little too much rock & not enough roll, too much Mike and not enough FLAMETHROWERS.  I can't have a flamethrower at my fucking desk, and I think that's Goddamn unfair and arbitrary.  I mean, look at me; Am I not a man that can be trusted with napalm while surrounded by idiots?

No, this weekend is already in the shitter, and so is next weekend.  There is only Friday night this week, and I MUST HAVE SLACK™.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cain

#9
January 06, 2012, 09:05:34 PM
Roger, do you know what your problem is?

You've trolled too much and now you can't tell the difference!

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
January 06, 2012, 09:18:31 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 06, 2012, 09:05:34 PM
Roger, do you know what your problem is?

You've trolled too much and now you can't tell the difference!

You may be right.  I have come to view the entire universe as a gigantic put on.  Like God walked into the chatroom and started blowing noise.  I mean, look around...This CAN'T be serious.  It's not a proper universe at all.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

EK WAFFLR

#11
January 07, 2012, 12:57:28 AM
Quote from: Nigel on January 06, 2012, 08:53:58 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 06, 2012, 08:49:44 PM
Quote from: Areola Shinerbock on January 06, 2012, 08:48:37 PM
It took a lot of self control not to bellow out laughing there.

I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my head has been in a very strange place for the last week or so.  Not sure why that is.

It has been highly entertaining, if mildly frightening.

Mildly? I soiled me pantaloons reading this.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
January 10, 2012, 07:11:59 PM
Apparently, my new sense of self-control does not extend to salesmen showing up at my office without an appointment.

:sad:

I am a bad, bad man.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#13
January 10, 2012, 07:36:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 06, 2012, 09:18:31 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 06, 2012, 09:05:34 PM
Roger, do you know what your problem is?

You've trolled too much and now you can't tell the difference!

You may be right.  I have come to view the entire universe as a gigantic put on.  Like God walked into the chatroom and started blowing noise.  I mean, look around...This CAN'T be serious.  It's not a proper universe at all.

You were the one who pointed out that a 13.7 billion year old universe has 93 billion light years diameter. Of course it's a put on.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
January 10, 2012, 07:57:05 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 10, 2012, 07:36:49 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 06, 2012, 09:18:31 PM
Quote from: Cain on January 06, 2012, 09:05:34 PM
Roger, do you know what your problem is?

You've trolled too much and now you can't tell the difference!

You may be right.  I have come to view the entire universe as a gigantic put on.  Like God walked into the chatroom and started blowing noise.  I mean, look around...This CAN'T be serious.  It's not a proper universe at all.

You were the one who pointed out that a 13.7 billion year old universe has 93 billion light years diameter. Of course it's a put on.

I think we may have discovered a new Core Tenet™ of Discordianism here, Twid.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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