Rant #2 (or Why I Hate Each and Every One of You #2)

[NewSpag]

Jem, let me give you some advice. You have, so far, hit every single troll trope we've seen, and have not at all managed to tread any new territory. You are not going to impress anyone with your schtick. Your inflated sense of self-importance ain't doing you any favors, after all, you haven't done anything at all worthwhile since you started posting, and not a single one of the regulars would care if you left and never came back.  But given that you only have 21 posts, you still have time to make a good impression. Of course, by "good impression", I don't mean "look at how crazy I am" or " Imma play up this trope in a half-assed 'satire'". So have at it.

Thanks for the "advice".  Sorry if this is all "stuff" you've seen before but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.  I'm not hear to "impress" people or "make a good impression" and I don't think it matters if the "regulars" care if I leave.  I'm here to double quote random words and phrases.  Inflated sense of self-importance?  Perhaps.  But I can assure you that it is only temporary and only because I'm toying with a god complex as a solution to the problem of other minds.  I'm not crazy, just insane. 

Would agreeing with you make a "good impression"?  If I apologized for being such a played out trollolol would the regulars care if I left?  If so just pretend I did.

Honestly I don't even believe that you really think I'm a troll.  Or if you do, you're one stupid mother of a duck 'cuz your feeding me rather than waiting for me to retreat back to my bridge.

[Doktor Howl]

Thanks for the "advice".  Sorry if this is all "stuff" you've seen before but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.  I'm not hear to "impress" people or "make a good impression" and I don't think it matters if the "regulars" care if I leave.  I'm here to double quote random words and phrases.  Inflated sense of self-importance?  Perhaps.   

Okay.

*plonk*

[Freeky]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

So, you shouldn't have gotten mad at him because that's his thing?  Or do you actually think he can't help himself?  Or are you really comparing him to a puppy?

[Doktor Howl]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

So, you shouldn't have gotten mad at him because that's his thing?  Or do you actually think he can't help himself?  Or are you really comparing him to a puppy?

She even got mad at ME, and I'm not even a real person.

Can you imagine that?

[Freeky]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

So, you shouldn't have gotten mad at him because that's his thing?  Or do you actually think he can't help himself?  Or are you really comparing him to a puppy?

She even got mad at ME, and I'm not even a real person.

Can you imagine that?

I don't even understand what she's trying to say the longer I think about it.  It's looking more and more "look what you made me do/you just can't help yourself because something." 

[NewSpag]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

So, you shouldn't have gotten mad at him because that's his thing?  Or do you actually think he can't help himself?  Or are you really comparing him to a puppy?

She even got mad at ME, and I'm not even a real person.

Can you imagine that?

I don't even understand what she's trying to say the longer I think about it.  It's looking more and more "look what you made me do/you just can't help yourself because something."

If I might speak on behalf of her majesty (I will anyway even if I mightn't) the "something" may be because I'm poptart?  I may as well just pretend to be him (or her) since you all seem to think that's who I am anyway.  Every time someone makes a poptart reference it makes me laugh.  Also can someone point me to some famous (read: infamous, if you so choose) poptart threads?  The search function isn't working properly for me

[Freeky]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

So, you shouldn't have gotten mad at him because that's his thing?  Or do you actually think he can't help himself?  Or are you really comparing him to a puppy?

She even got mad at ME, and I'm not even a real person.

Can you imagine that?

I don't even understand what she's trying to say the longer I think about it.  It's looking more and more "look what you made me do/you just can't help yourself because something."

If I might speak on behalf of her majesty (I will anyway even if I mightn't) the "something" may be because I'm poptart?  I may as well just pretend to be him (or her) since you all seem to think that's who I am anyway.  Every time someone makes a poptart reference it makes me laugh.  Also can someone point me to some famous poptart threads?  The search function isn't working properly for me

This isn't about you, fuck off.

[AFK]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

So, you shouldn't have gotten mad at him because that's his thing?  Or do you actually think he can't help himself?  Or are you really comparing him to a puppy?

She even got mad at ME, and I'm not even a real person.

Can you imagine that?

I don't even understand what she's trying to say the longer I think about it.  It's looking more and more "look what you made me do/you just can't help yourself because something."

If I might speak on behalf of her majesty (I will anyway even if I mightn't) the "something" may be because I'm poptart?  I may as well just pretend to be him (or her) since you all seem to think that's who I am anyway.  Every time someone makes a poptart reference it makes me laugh.  Also can someone point me to some famous (read: infamous, if you so choose) poptart threads?  The search function isn't working properly for me

Yeah, I don't know.  For every account that has actually been PopTart, there have been many more that were merely suspected as being PopTart.  But I'm sure there is a good archaeologist here who can dig something up for you.

If it makes you feel any better, however, (and I'm sure it doesn't) I believe that you aren't she/he/it. 

[NewSpag]

This isn't about you, fuck off.

I just made it about me.  Doing shit like this is one of the awesome things about having a god complex.
That said... fucking off.
EDIT: I just realized a little bit more about the situation.  Apologies to Dok and the Queen for misinterpreting shit.

Yeah, I don't know.  For every account that has actually been PopTart, there have been many more that were merely suspected as being PopTart.  But I'm sure there is a good archaeologist here who can dig something up for you.

If it makes you feel any better, however, (and I'm sure it doesn't) I believe that you aren't she/he/it. 

I believe I'm much more of a Hot Pocket.

[AFK]

Better that than an Uncrustable.  Those things are just wrong!

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

So, you shouldn't have gotten mad at him because that's his thing?  Or do you actually think he can't help himself?  Or are you really comparing him to a puppy?

It's his thing. Whether he can control it or not is irrelevant to the fact that it's what he does, what he has done since long before I was around, and what I knew ahead of time he does. And I still got angry enough to bounce for a bit, which speaks to me not having a very good handle on my reactions to things right now. I should be able to take a "fuck off" in stride no matter who it comes from, and I couldn't, and it's not a good thing.

[Triple Zero]

Inflated sense of self-importance?  Perhaps.  But I can assure you that it is only temporary and--blablablasnip

Temporary seems to assume you got a plan for how to behave after this "phase"? How about skipping the dickery and acting like a biped right now? It's not too late still, believe me (though you might have to swallow 2 or 3 kneejerk reactions--but you probably deserve those, yet if you manage to ignore those and act like an intelligent person, you'll find this place very welcoming indeed).

Would agreeing with you make a "good impression"?

Probably not. In all honesty, it'd probably fool us for a while, but if you keep secretly being a dick underneath, it'll all end in tears, I promise.

Better be yourself, be your best self, and if that doesn't work, well, then maybe this place is not for you. But unless you're Poptard, or really-secretly-some-other-troll-afterall, I don't believe that.

Even people that are themselves and still express opinions that most (but not all) people here disagree with, they do get shat upon for THIS IS DISCORDIA and discussions do get heated, but it's a different kind of shitting than people who just barge in here and act like retarded zany arrogant insane knowitalls.

If I apologized for being such a played out trollolol would the regulars care if I left?  If so just pretend I did.

I'm not sure what you mean, but sincere apologies tend to be well-received on PD. Pretend apologies, not so much.

(you need to do some rather bad shit before apologies no longer work, see Cpt.Utopia thread for an example. he really crossed a line. a big fat personal line. repeatedly. you didn't. if you did, you'd know)

Honestly I don't even believe that you really think I'm a troll.  Or if you do, you're one stupid mother of a duck 'cuz your feeding me rather than waiting for me to retreat back to my bridge.

Well, this way is generally more fun!

Also, we're not a singular hive mind, so many of us might be ignoring you, but if not everybody does, it won't work right? And in that case, poking you with sticks is much more funny.

And about being a troll, well ... Your first post "can someone please tell me what discordianism is?" was delicious bait. I wouldn't have replied, even But following it up so quickly with an attitude revealing the question was not at all sincere "welcome to my Discordia"--well that was the part that sealed it for me. Maybe different for others, but that's the core.

I may as well just pretend to be him (or her) since you all seem to think that's who I am anyway.

Better not. It's been done and did not end well.

Every time someone makes a poptart reference it makes me laugh.  Also can someone point me to some famous (read: infamous, if you so choose) poptart threads?  The search function isn't working properly for me

Yeah, I don't know.  For every account that has actually been PopTart, there have been many more that were merely suspected as being PopTart.

Nah we can't have been wrong more than twice the amount it really was Poptard. You forget how many times s/he proxied back in (or maybe admins got a better view of such).

If it makes you feel any better, however, (and I'm sure it doesn't) I believe that you aren't she/he/it.

How so? I'm not entirely 100% convinced yet, but time will tell soon enough. IMO, currently, only baseless optimism can make your assumption

I do *hope* he isn't, though, I already spent more energy on him than I wish I'd had otherwise :P

[Cain]

Well, I haven't seen Poptard on here in a year, at the very least.  And I did figure out his signature style pretty quickly.

I'm pretty sure he has given up on this place.  Or is going to wait another few years until he suffers some major setback in his life again, and digs out a proxy and a clean email and strolls back in.  Beats turning into a serial killer though, I suppose.

[Doktor Howl]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

So, you shouldn't have gotten mad at him because that's his thing?  Or do you actually think he can't help himself?  Or are you really comparing him to a puppy?

It's his thing. Whether he can control it or not is irrelevant to the fact that it's what he does, what he has done since long before I was around, and what I knew ahead of time he does.

Hey, how about you and I not talk to each other or about each other?  Should be a snap, considering that I'm apparently a dog, or someone not in control of himself.  A lobotomy patient perhaps?

[Placid Dingo]

She Literally thought he was a puppy, with the ability to type on a forum.

She's only upset now because he's old and shaggy and farts a lot.