Rant #2 (or Why I Hate Each and Every One of You #2)

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think some of you may be missing the joke?  Either that or I'm missing YOUR jokes.  The only thing I can say for sure is that we'll definitely maybe come to some sort of ununderstanding in past and future transmissions.

If it was satire then I laud you, for it was well-done indeed. Now for the scary part; people come here and post exactly that sort of spiel in complete earnestness more often than you would ever believe if you didn't see it yourself... often enough that many of us have actually gotten jaded to it.

I know, that sounds preposterous! But it really happens. "WAAAAAAAAUGH, I WAS LOOKING FOR A GURU AND I DIDN'T FIND ONE I HATE YOU ALL!"

And then sometimes, they stalk one or more of us (usually Roger) for several years.

So, like I said, kudos, because that was both over-the-top and really, really fucking believable. Well-done!

[NewSpag]

I think some of you may be missing the joke?  Either that or I'm missing YOUR jokes.  The only thing I can say for sure is that we'll definitely maybe come to some sort of ununderstanding in past and future transmissions.

If it was satire then I laud you, for it was well-done indeed. Now for the scary part; people come here and post exactly that sort of spiel in complete earnestness more often than you would ever believe if you didn't see it yourself... often enough that many of us have actually gotten jaded to it.

I know, that sounds preposterous! But it really happens. "WAAAAAAAAUGH, I WAS LOOKING FOR A GURU AND I DIDN'T FIND ONE I HATE YOU ALL!"

And then sometimes, they stalk one or more of us (usually Roger) for several years.

So, like I said, kudos, because that was both over-the-top and really, really fucking believable. Well-done!

I didn't realize that there were that many before me.  This was meant to be a satire both of the character "mold" that the forum seemed to almost unanimously assign to me as well as the community itself.  You all seem to be very quick to jump to conclusions about n00bs like me.  You're lucky I'm not what you think I am or you would have lost me already. 

Also the facts given were true if you actually care how I became insane.  In reality I'm just a little less woe-is-me about the whole thing.  Its been a journey and I would not be the person I am today if I had not taken the path I did. 

And/or I am the idiot troll you all seem to think I am.  Trolls have stories too. 

[Cain]

Trolls have stories too. 

Unless they involve bridges and goats, they are rarely of interest, though.

In fact, this is true of pretty much all stories.  If Bioware had listened to this advice, the ending of Mass Effect 3, for example, would have been much improved.

[NewSpag]

Trolls have stories too. 

Unless they involve bridges and goats, they are rarely of interest, though.

Or if they have crazy hair

[Freeky]

You're lucky I'm not what you think I am or you would have lost me already. 

-raises eyebrow-

[Phox]

I think some of you may be missing the joke?  Either that or I'm missing YOUR jokes.  The only thing I can say for sure is that we'll definitely maybe come to some sort of ununderstanding in past and future transmissions.

If it was satire then I laud you, for it was well-done indeed. Now for the scary part; people come here and post exactly that sort of spiel in complete earnestness more often than you would ever believe if you didn't see it yourself... often enough that many of us have actually gotten jaded to it.

I know, that sounds preposterous! But it really happens. "WAAAAAAAAUGH, I WAS LOOKING FOR A GURU AND I DIDN'T FIND ONE I HATE YOU ALL!"

And then sometimes, they stalk one or more of us (usually Roger) for several years.

So, like I said, kudos, because that was both over-the-top and really, really fucking believable. Well-done!

I didn't realize that there were that many before me.  This was meant to be a satire both of the character "mold" that the forum seemed to almost unanimously assign to me as well as the community itself.  You all seem to be very quick to jump to conclusions about n00bs like me.  You're lucky I'm not what you think I am or you would have lost me already. 

Also the facts given were true if you actually care how I became insane.  In reality I'm just a little less woe-is-me about the whole thing.  Its been a journey and I would not be the person I am today if I had not taken the path I did. 

And/or I am the idiot troll you all seem to think I am.  Trolls have stories too.

Jem, let me give you some advice. You have, so far, hit every single troll trope we've seen, and have not at all managed to tread any new territory. You are not going to impress anyone with your schtick. Your inflated sense of self-importance ain't doing you any favors, after all, you haven't done anything at all worthwhile since you started posting, and not a single one of the regulars would care if you left and never came back.  But given that you only have 21 posts, you still have time to make a good impression. Of course, by "good impression", I don't mean "look at how crazy I am" or " Imma play up this trope in a half-assed 'satire'". So have at it.

[AFK]

Well, I for one enjoy having some new blood around.  Mixes things up and keeps things interesting in one way or another. 

But more importantly, where is Rant #1? 

[Doktor Howl]

Greetings PD, today I've decided to rant about something I feel IS very important: Why I hate each and every one of you (Reason #2). 
What is Reason #2?  Because you weren't there for me.

You weren't there for me when I was born (perfectly insane) to protect me from the sanity that AMAREECUH forced upon me.

Life's tough, kid.  Wear a hat.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I need to get my rage glands checked out, even this halfassed nonsense is getting under my skin.

[Doktor Howl]

I need to get my rage glands checked out, even this halfassed nonsense is getting under my skin.

Perhaps you're allergic to poptards.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

[trippinprincezz13]

You're lucky I'm not what you think I am or you would have lost me already. 

Of course, if you were who we thought you were (yea, I said "we" even though I'm just jumping in here), then I'd assume everyone would be just fine with losing you, so everything would work out in the end.

Just saying and all

[Triple Zero]

I have to say, I'm loving the character you guys are creating for me.  When you guys tell me what I am it saves me the trouble of deciding for myself.  Which is the point of Discordia amirite? 

Exactly. Your sort are very much like Mr Potato-Head, in that sense.

In so many ways.

[Doktor Howl]

Nah, I've been over-reacting to every goddamn thing lately. Shit, I got mad at you for telling me to fuck off. That's like getting mad at a puppy for running around.

Clearly, I need leeches.

Clearly, I am a puppy.

[Cain]

Trolls have stories too. 

Unless they involve bridges and goats, they are rarely of interest, though.

Or if they have crazy hair

I'm not sure we can consider trollz as trolls.  I'm going to have to seek independent adjudication on the issue.