The Parlor Problem

[Phox]

OK, why would anybody making decent money doing massage, who hasn't gotten themselves into financial hot water, suddenly decide they want to include hand jobs for everybody if not for the extra money? How can there NOT be some kind of duress?

There was none with my acquaintance. As I keep saying, I am not taking that anecdote as representative of the entire massage/sex industry overlap, and freely admit that it is without question, a rarity, to say the least. HOWEVER, people decide to do things. Not all massage therapists engage in sex acts. Not all massage therapists that engage in sex acts are acting of their own volition. But that does not mean that a massage therapist engaging in sex acts are not making their own decision, either.

Maybe they are curious. Maybe they want extra spending money. Maybe they just want some sex, so why the hell not? I can't tell you what makes a person decide to do this, but it's neither accurate nor fair to assume that everyone who does so is in a situation in which they are forced to do it, for whatever reason.

[Freeky]

I can easily see how a happy ending in that setting would be just another part of a message thing. 

Even more so, I could see how, in a safe, regulated, and purely by-their-own-choice setting, a certin kind of person might view it as helping people.  A kindness to the public, maybe even.

Massage therapists touch people for a living.  This touching makes people feel good.  A handjob is basically just touching someone in a way that feels good.  In this context, I see no big deal with that, and in a way it is appealing. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Thank you.

I mean, THINK about it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Thank you.

I mean, THINK about it.

It seems to me that everyone is a commodity in one sense or another in the workplace, but sex workers are basically paid to be a sex toy for damage cases.

I've met a lot of hookers in my mis-spent life, but never a "happy hooker".  I also felt no urge to buy their time, because I found the whole thing kinda dismal.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Thank you.

I mean, THINK about it.

It seems to me that everyone is a commodity in one sense or another in the workplace, but sex workers are basically paid to be a sex toy for damage cases.

I've met a lot of hookers in my mis-spent life, but never a "happy hooker".  I also felt no urge to buy their time, because I found the whole thing kinda dismal.

Yeah. If I ever hit the lottery I'd be handing them humdred dollar bills and telling them to take the afternoon off. 

[Freeky]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Maybe so, but in reference to the OP, it's different.  Massage therapy is a powerful thing all on its own.  It's the whole touching and being touched thing.  A happy ending, in the best of all situations, is not at all like hooking.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Maybe so, but in reference to the OP, it's different.  Massage therapy is a powerful thing all on its own.  It's the whole touching and being touched thing.  A happy ending, in the best of all situations, is not at all like hooking.

A longass massage with a happy ending loses all meaning when it's some strange fatass old man with a sock tan who considers you a whore.

Sorry, I never held out for a diamond ring or any of that, but a longass massage with a happy ending is "for special".

[Freeky]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Maybe so, but in reference to the OP, it's different.  Massage therapy is a powerful thing all on its own.  It's the whole touching and being touched thing.  A happy ending, in the best of all situations, is not at all like hooking.

A longass massage with a happy ending loses all meaning when it's some strange fatass old man with a sock tan who considers you a whore.

Sorry, I never held out for a diamond ring or any of that, but a longass massage with a happy ending is "for special".

There are always going to be people like that.  It can still be meaningful to the right kind of person. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Maybe so, but in reference to the OP, it's different.  Massage therapy is a powerful thing all on its own.  It's the whole touching and being touched thing.  A happy ending, in the best of all situations, is not at all like hooking.

A longass massage with a happy ending loses all meaning when it's some strange fatass old man with a sock tan who considers you a whore.

Sorry, I never held out for a diamond ring or any of that, but a longass massage with a happy ending is "for special".

There are always going to be people like that.  It can still be meaningful to the right kind of person.

Not buying it.

[Freeky]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Maybe so, but in reference to the OP, it's different.  Massage therapy is a powerful thing all on its own.  It's the whole touching and being touched thing.  A happy ending, in the best of all situations, is not at all like hooking.

A longass massage with a happy ending loses all meaning when it's some strange fatass old man with a sock tan who considers you a whore.

Sorry, I never held out for a diamond ring or any of that, but a longass massage with a happy ending is "for special".

There are always going to be people like that.  It can still be meaningful to the right kind of person.

Not buying it.

Then how is massaging people not like hooking?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A lot of people have a calling to compassionate careers that deal with the creeps off the street... it's just that in the current paradigm, it's almost impossible for sex worker to be that kind of compassionate career, rather than an exploited one.

I may very well be wrong on this, but I don't think it's possible to be a sex worker without becoming a bundle of PTSD.

Maybe so, but in reference to the OP, it's different.  Massage therapy is a powerful thing all on its own.  It's the whole touching and being touched thing.  A happy ending, in the best of all situations, is not at all like hooking.

A longass massage with a happy ending loses all meaning when it's some strange fatass old man with a sock tan who considers you a whore.

Sorry, I never held out for a diamond ring or any of that, but a longass massage with a happy ending is "for special".

There are always going to be people like that.  It can still be meaningful to the right kind of person.

Not buying it.

Then how is massaging people not like hooking?

If it's just massage, it's more like chiropractic work.

If there's a "happy ending", it's hooking.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I am uninterested in happy endings and other types of prostitution for the same reason porn doesn't work for me. To invest any kind of sexual energy in any situation, I have to believe the situation is consensual -- not just consensual, but honestly desired by all parties involved. Knowing somebody's getting paid for it, that it's just a job or a chore (or worse), completely neutralizes my libido.

That's not to say I'd be opposed to spontaneous sex with a masseuse if things happen to go that way -- just as long as we're both into it and we're breaking the rules.

[Freeky]

I am uninterested in happy endings and other types of prostitution for the same reason porn doesn't work for me. To invest any kind of sexual energy in any situation, I have to believe the situation is consensual -- not just consensual, but honestly desired by all parties involved. Knowing somebody's getting paid for it, that it's just a job or a chore (or worse), completely neutralizes my libido.

That's not to say I'd be opposed to spontaneous sex with a masseuse if things happen to go that way -- just as long as we're both into it and we're breaking the rules.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

No.

I mean, feel free to view that in any way you wish.
But there is clearly a large difference between random street walkers and what those women are doing.
Did you read that blog I posted?

Because there are some pretty good, real life examples of that difference. For one thing, I think there's a huge difference between a hand-job of a dude who is inert and, you know, any other sex act.

So, you seem to be of the mind that anyone who engages in sex work is at the same level of a random street walker, that there is no difference anywhere along those lines?

I saw it as a veneer of faux concern for women who are expected to sell hand jobs and let these guys grope their tits.
Maybe they're esteemed slightly more than street hookers who sell blow jobs, but not quite as much as the girls dancing in the tittie flops. 
In any case, I wouldn't wish that job on anybody.

"Inert" doesn't change the fact that you have to jack people off for a living.
That would depress the fuck out of me. If I had to smile every time some fat fuck groped my tit when all I wanted to do was bash his head in with a chair, it would do something to me. I'd be ashamed to tell people what I did for a living. I'd beat myself up for being too stupid or lazy to get into something else. If I couldn't find a way out, I'd be strung out on heroin before three months had passed.

I don't see myself as unique in this.

I don't know about that.

I was a 900-girl for quite some time. That job took it out of me... I found it depressing after a while. Not because of feeling subjugated or used, but because my customers were so, so sad. They often made me cry, and almost always out of sympathy. So yes, I can say for experience that if you take the human trafficking and the stigma out of sex work, there is a large space for human compassion. A man who goes to a parlor for human touch and sexual release might be a dirtbag, but he might equally be a lonely human being starved for touch and sex, two elements that humans need to be happy. The world would be a better place if we made it OK and respectable to compassionately administer touch, including sexual touch, to lonely people.