Author Topic: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.  (Read 117229 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« on: July 18, 2012, 05:38:01 pm »
Welcome to Discordia.  We hope you enjoy your stay, whether that be a 3 day butthurt trollfest, or 10 years of screeching and hollering with the best of ‘em.  Our membership grows and contracts, as the people who don’t understand the concept join, get “enlightened”, and then either flee, or join the sediment at the bottom.  We function much like a septic tank:  All the light stuff gets pumped out, leaving a horrible load of goodness in the bottom.  We are the sediment of the internet…It’s not particularly pleasant, but we like it that way.

A few things worth mentioning:

We’ve all read the Principia Discordia.  You are not required to tell us all about it.

We aren’t “Real Discordians™”, whatever that is.  We’re not really into random gibberish (“word salad”), kaos magick, or spending hours and hours determining which music (or whatever) deserves the name brand of Discordian™.

Don’t feel the need to wow us on your first day.  We’re actually more impressed by an honest introduction, and your thoughts on the weird shit we talk about.  Just tell us about yourself, and what horrible personal defect led you to us.  Things will develop naturally from there…There’s no need to rush things.

If you feel that the mods or admins are giving you an undue ration of shit on an “official” level (ie, you were modded unfairly), contact East Coast Hustle, or any other uninvolved admin.  Do NOT pm The Mgt.

We like rants and bad photoshop.  Quality of writing or shooping is meaningless.  It’s all about the WRATH, so spout until your guts bleed.

We like hearing about pranks.  Bear in mind, of course, that this is the interbutts, and be careful how much information you put out there.  The government probably isn’t watching us…but we’ll fix THAT!

The search function doesn’t work.  This is because the guy who runs the server is a communist and hates America™.  You have to go digging by hand.  It’s worth it, though, there’s some really good nuggets in there.

It is generally considered to be both foolish and dangerous to hit “mark all messages read”, as that button is hooked into some software nastiness installed by the guy who runs the server, who kisses terrorists.  On the beard.  He makes everyone call him “Joseph Stalin”, and he kicks babies off of overpasses whenever he’s allowed out of his cage/server room.

There is no secret Pogs forum.  This was an rumor started by irresponsible members from Portland, Oregon, because we made fun of their little Brad Pitt hats.  Fucking hipsters.

There ain’t no parking on the dance floor.

Well, that’s about it.  If you’re dumb enough to stick around, we look forward to your introduction.  We are not responsible for personality issues caused by this board.  Last thing:  We yell a lot.  It’s not personal.  We’re just very, very serious about having a good time.

:responsible:
« Last Edit: February 22, 2017, 02:52:09 am by The Good Reverend Roger »
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Sir Bearington

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2012, 07:20:28 pm »
Why hello there, I am the Trollbear.

I would speak majorly in prose if acting and linguistic lessons didnt mean you have to pay through the nose, but you all know how it goes if you have ever been in one of those.

In a less eccentric and flamboyantly fantastic way to tell all who knows.

Uh hi.

Payne

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2012, 07:23:07 pm »
 :argh!:

I HATE NEW THINGS

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2012, 07:23:30 pm »
YOU HAVE FAILED THE INTELLIGENCE PORTION OF THIS TEST.

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,32829.0.html

YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO SURRENDER SOME ORGANS AT THE FRONT DESK.

- The artist formerly known as Dok
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Sir Bearington

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2012, 07:26:35 pm »
I don't really see the point of submitting any organs at all, they are all tea stained and likely to be primitive and disused.


Payne

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2012, 07:28:38 pm »
There is no point. It's why Nigel demands it.

It's why we can't have nice things. Or any things.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2012, 07:29:50 pm »
I don't really see the point of submitting any organs at all, they are all tea stained and likely to be primitive and disused.

You're a Brit.  The tea-stained bit is assumed in advance.  But they are not to be surrendered for the use of others, but rather to prevent YOU from using them to society's detriment, should you ever find a member of the opposite sex in a sufficiently deranged state as to consider breeding with you.

I think the rest of the world has had just about enough of you crumpet-suckers peeing in the gene pool.

This also applies to Scotsmen, the fucking Welsh, and those drunks on the next island over.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2012, 07:30:58 pm »
There is no point. It's why Nigel demands it.

It's why we can't have nice things. Or any things.

I miss things.

Nigel broke them for no reason.  And then she slapped me and called me a dirty little whore.

TDRR,
Dirty, dirty little whore. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Phox

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2012, 07:32:02 pm »
Why hello there, I am the Trollbear.

I would speak majorly in prose if acting and linguistic lessons didnt mean you have to pay through the nose, but you all know how it goes if you have ever been in one of those.

In a less eccentric and flamboyantly fantastic way to tell all who knows.

Uh hi.
Why hello, Mr. Trollbear, I appreciate your work.

Payne

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2012, 07:32:14 pm »
There is no point. It's why Nigel demands it.

It's why we can't have nice things. Or any things.

I miss things.

Nigel broke them for no reason.  And then she slapped me and called me a dirty little whore.

TDRR,
Dirty, dirty little whore.

 :cry:

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2012, 07:33:21 pm »
There is no point. It's why Nigel demands it.

It's why we can't have nice things. Or any things.

I miss things.

Nigel broke them for no reason.  And then she slapped me and called me a dirty little whore.

TDRR,
Dirty, dirty little whore.

 :cry:

I AM A DIRTY LITTLE GIRL.   :horrormirth:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Sir Bearington

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2012, 07:40:14 pm »
I don't really see the point of submitting any organs at all, they are all tea stained and likely to be primitive and disused.

You're a Brit.  The tea-stained bit is assumed in advance.  But they are not to be surrendered for the use of others, but rather to prevent YOU from using them to society's detriment, should you ever find a member of the opposite sex in a sufficiently deranged state as to consider breeding with you.

I think the rest of the world has had just about enough of you crumpet-suckers peeing in the gene pool.

This also applies to Scotsmen, the fucking Welsh, and those drunks on the next island over.

Oh now, now, no need to behave like children resorting to biased and well established stereotypes. Besides when we are not verbally abusing each other with our own sterotypes and we do have common causes, we are a strong and united force like we are meant to be in the first place.

Then we just turn against the french, like we always do and enjoy doing verbally abusing those french frogs.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2012, 07:42:29 pm »

Oh now, now, no need to behave like children resorting to biased and well established stereotypes.

Hey, I never said anything about teeth.

Pixie (a member here) is from Southampton, and she could bite a human heart in half.  Human hearts are very, very tough.  An American, raised on a diet of fast food glorp, could NEVER do that.  No.  So you won't be hearing any jibes about snaggle teef.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Sir Bearington

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2012, 08:04:15 pm »

Oh now, now, no need to behave like children resorting to biased and well established stereotypes.

Hey, I never said anything about teeth.

Pixie (a member here) is from Southampton, and she could bite a human heart in half.  Human hearts are very, very tough.  An American, raised on a diet of fast food glorp, could NEVER do that.  No.  So you won't be hearing any jibes about snaggle teef.

Such a shame teeth are such a integral part of the british sterotype likely established due to the sugar craze when it was introduced and the high sugar content of our favourite delicacies not to mention entire spoonfuls in cups of tea.

I say, from the sounds of it she could double up as a certian bond villian.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2012, 08:08:49 pm »

Oh now, now, no need to behave like children resorting to biased and well established stereotypes.

Hey, I never said anything about teeth.

Pixie (a member here) is from Southampton, and she could bite a human heart in half.  Human hearts are very, very tough.  An American, raised on a diet of fast food glorp, could NEVER do that.  No.  So you won't be hearing any jibes about snaggle teef.

Such a shame teeth are such a integral part of the british sterotype likely established due to the sugar craze when it was introduced and the high sugar content of our favourite delicacies not to mention entire spoonfuls in cups of tea.

I say, from the sounds of it she could double up as a certian bond villian.

She once portrayed a entire train wreck in a Bollywood film.  Bloody screaming victims and all.  The scene where the boiler exploded into a passing school bus was a real tear-jerker.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.