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Dating and Sex for Bipeds

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, August 08, 2012, 03:35:56 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#30
August 08, 2012, 02:15:37 PM
DON'T
- Be nasty to the waiter, etc.
- Talk about your last relationship.

DO
- Smile
- Let the other person talk.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

standvast

#31
August 08, 2012, 02:18:07 PM
QuoteREAL is bullshit.  Just saying.

Can't contest that. I prefer it over the many (Bullshit diguised as a tasty plate of nachos)  alternatives though.

no.such.thing.

The Good Reverend Roger

#32
August 08, 2012, 02:20:15 PM
Quote from: standvast on August 08, 2012, 02:18:07 PM
QuoteREAL is bullshit.  Just saying.

Can't contest that. I prefer it over the many (Bullshit diguised as a tasty plate of nachos)  alternatives though.

I'm guessing you don't get too many second dates, when expressed as a percentage of overall dates.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

standvast

#33
August 08, 2012, 02:30:14 PM
QuoteI'm guessing you don't get too many second dates, when expressed as a percentage of overall dates.

-dead wrong- i just carbondated your guessingmechanism .
no.such.thing.

The Good Reverend Roger

#34
August 08, 2012, 02:35:16 PM
Quote from: standvast on August 08, 2012, 02:30:14 PM
QuoteI'm guessing you don't get too many second dates, when expressed as a percentage of overall dates.

-dead wrong- i just carbondated your guessingmechanism .

Whatever you say, man.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#35
August 08, 2012, 03:04:58 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 08, 2012, 08:48:52 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 08, 2012, 08:14:18 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 08, 2012, 05:28:51 AM
Don't go on about how lame you are.  If you make a blunder, make your genuine apology and move on.  Don't talk about how much saying something kind of dumb in second grade makes you want to stab yourself in the head and snap the fucking knife off at the hilt.  Don't talk about how you hate hurting people, it makes you feel like cutting up your face with with broken glass.  Don't lament to your date friends you lost contact with several years ago.  I don't care if you still miss them, if they were your soul mate.  Leave it be for now.

ON the subject of soul mates, don't use the term "soul mate" on a first date unless a question similar to "What are you looking for?" pops up, and even then, that's a bit on the side of creepy enough to make a girl flinch.  Definitely do not latch onto a person and think of them as your soul mate if you get to the sex part. 

Learn to read body language.  Tense muscles means tense emotional state.  Leaning away = negative (uncomfortable), leaning forward = positive (engaged).  Glazed eyes = boredom, either change the subject or ask the other person some questions to reengage their interest. 

If you are becoming bored, do not start fooling around on your iPhone.  Cut short the date, and stop wasting everyone's time, instead.

Is this just me and the shit I hear in my line of work, or should  that be amended to DON'T SAY "SOUL MATE" EVER OR I WILL DRIVE A 57 CHEVY WITH FINS UP YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T GTFO NAO?

:lol:  I dont know.  I think it might be suitable sometimes, with an indeterminate number (almost said two, which is kinda ehhhh for poly people) of extremlly compatible partners who seem to have been made for each other, and like cliche poetry.

Being it is different than saying it.

Also, "first date".
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#36
August 08, 2012, 03:06:08 PM
Also, anyone who starts messing with an iphone on a date?

Just get up and leave.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#37
August 08, 2012, 03:24:50 PM
WOMEN: It may be a new century and a new era in gender equality, but please let the Male pay for the first date. Being newly sensitive, the male species is fragile and prone to bouts of depression when his urge to be The Provider cannot be satisfied.

MEN: It is a new century and a new era for gender equality! Do you know what that means? YES! It is no longer your responsibility to pay for the first date! Leave your wallet at home and relax. She's got this one covered.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

LMNO

#38
August 08, 2012, 03:27:18 PM
After you've decided to date, unexpected flowers are always nice.  Expected flowers, or an expectation of sex, is not as nice.


Note: this can also apply to women.  I've been given flowers from a GF, and it was a pretty awesome feeling.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#39
August 08, 2012, 03:41:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 08, 2012, 03:27:18 PM
After you've decided to date, unexpected flowers are always nice.  Expected flowers, or an expectation of sex, is not as nice.


Note: this can also apply to women.  I've been given flowers from a GF, and it was a pretty awesome feeling.

Flowers and other gifts are 100% more fun and effective when sent to the workplace than presented in person. This creates a diversion at work, which is always fun, causes the person's friends to say good things about you and pisses off the person's enemies, if they have any.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#40
August 08, 2012, 04:01:54 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 08, 2012, 02:15:37 PM
DON'T
- Be nasty to the waiter, etc.
- Talk about your last relationship.

DO
- Smile
- Let the other person talk.

I can't stress that top one enough. Some people seem to be under the impression that they will look important if they're unpleasant, dismissive, or demanding toward service staff. They don't; they look like shallow jackasses who are only nice to people they're trying to impress or get something out of. That is a serious vetting tool for me; if a date is rude to the waiter, there will be no second date.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#41
August 08, 2012, 04:23:28 PM
Quote from: v3x on August 08, 2012, 03:24:50 PM
WOMEN: It may be a new century and a new era in gender equality, but please let the Male pay for the first date. Being newly sensitive, the male species is fragile and prone to bouts of depression when his urge to be The Provider cannot be satisfied.

MEN: It is a new century and a new era for gender equality! Do you know what that means? YES! It is no longer your responsibility to pay for the first date! Leave your wallet at home and relax. She's got this one covered.

Vex should be put in some sort of government position, regulating important shit.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

standvast

#42
August 08, 2012, 04:37:22 PM
DON'T bombard your date with info you dug up on them on the intehwebs.

no.such.thing.

hooplala

#43
August 08, 2012, 04:39:38 PM
Do NOT tell her you've been logged into PD.com for 63 days.  This will NOT impress her.

Unless she is Aini, in which case... jesus.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

The Good Reverend Roger

#44
August 08, 2012, 04:40:02 PM
Quote from: standvast on August 08, 2012, 04:37:22 PM
DON'T bombard your date with info you dug up on them on the intehwebs.

I'd almost think that would go without saying.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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