Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In a real funk, and it only seems to be getting worse. Especially when my brain seems to be actively working against me trying to pull myself out of it. If I just stop and relax for a bit, I worry that I should be doing something, or I'm forgetting to do something or WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE NOT DOING THE LAUNDRY/CLEANING/COOKING/SOMETHING. If I go out and genuinely have fun and enjoy myself, I immediately feel guilty about it because you must have done something wrong, look at how stupid you must have looked, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU LOOKED LIKE AN ASS. They were just being nice because they felt bad, you know they're talking about you now. FFS, I can barely spend a day with my parents without thinking I screwed it up somehow. 

So then I don't do anything so that I can't make myself feel bad about it later. But I WANT to go out and talk to people, so I get more depressed, and withdrawn, resentful and angry and start lashing out at those around me. Feel bad about it later, and so on. And it builds up, and I'm stressed all the time and just so tired. And how do you explain that to anyone without sounding completely insane?

And this is all TMI, and probably won't do any good, but I just....don't know.

It's simple, really.  You lack Slack.  You worry about what other people think of you.  You worry that having a good time is somehow BADWRONG.  In many people, this leads them to join religious groups that frown on fun entirely.  In others, it leads to the situation you find yourself in. 

That's the EASY part.  The hard part is doing something ABOUT it.  My advice is to work with a therapist, combined with some exercise.  Assuming you can AFFORD a therapist.  If you can't, talk to Nigel, who may have some information on how to find publicly funded therapy.  If this turns out not to be an option, then there's The Cure.  That should be considered a last resort, of course, as it tends to turn you into a 44 year old, bitter old man that hates everyone and spends all his time NOT giving a shit what most people think.  That does, believe it or not, have some downsides.

I can't see that.  What is it?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

In a real funk, and it only seems to be getting worse. Especially when my brain seems to be actively working against me trying to pull myself out of it. If I just stop and relax for a bit, I worry that I should be doing something, or I'm forgetting to do something or WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE NOT DOING THE LAUNDRY/CLEANING/COOKING/SOMETHING. If I go out and genuinely have fun and enjoy myself, I immediately feel guilty about it because you must have done something wrong, look at how stupid you must have looked, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU LOOKED LIKE AN ASS. They were just being nice because they felt bad, you know they're talking about you now. FFS, I can barely spend a day with my parents without thinking I screwed it up somehow. 

So then I don't do anything so that I can't make myself feel bad about it later. But I WANT to go out and talk to people, so I get more depressed, and withdrawn, resentful and angry and start lashing out at those around me. Feel bad about it later, and so on. And it builds up, and I'm stressed all the time and just so tired. And how do you explain that to anyone without sounding completely insane?

And this is all TMI, and probably won't do any good, but I just....don't know.

It's simple, really.  You lack Slack.  You worry about what other people think of you.  You worry that having a good time is somehow BADWRONG.  In many people, this leads them to join religious groups that frown on fun entirely.  In others, it leads to the situation you find yourself in. 

That's the EASY part.  The hard part is doing something ABOUT it.  My advice is to work with a therapist, combined with some exercise.  Assuming you can AFFORD a therapist.  If you can't, talk to Nigel, who may have some information on how to find publicly funded therapy.  If this turns out not to be an option, then there's The Cure.  That should be considered a last resort, of course, as it tends to turn you into a 44 year old, bitter old man that hates everyone and spends all his time NOT giving a shit what most people think.  That does, believe it or not, have some downsides.

Yes, this, a qualified therapist. I mean, we all THINK stuff like that (and worse...) sometimes, but when it takes over and keeps you from doing things, it's time to get somebody to show you how to put the brakes on the shit. Good luck, keep us posted.

Do you jog? Roger suggested that I start hitting the treadmill. I haven't yet because... well I don't have a good reason.

I'll do it tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow.

And that is largely the essence of why I'm in what I'm in now.

Twid, I wish to FUCK I was on a treadmill.

I'm having a Very Special Day. Moved across town to a new neigborhood recently and when I took the dog out last night, I was cutting across parking lots ans stepped over a four inch curb.

There was a three foot drop on the other side and I landed on the side of my assbone. I can't put weight on my right leg AT ALL, I'm scooting around like a dog dragging his ass on the carpet.

I don't think anything broke, nothing feels out of place or feverish, just swollen and sore as fuck. I'm gonna give it a couple of days and if I don't see any improvement I'll go to the ER for an X ray, but I don't want to have to do that because it's Seguin and they're incompetent. They'd probably amputate my GOOD leg if I let them.

GET ON THE FUCKING TREADMILL, TWID. TREADMILL ROCKS FROM HERE.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

In a real funk, and it only seems to be getting worse. Especially when my brain seems to be actively working against me trying to pull myself out of it. If I just stop and relax for a bit, I worry that I should be doing something, or I'm forgetting to do something or WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE NOT DOING THE LAUNDRY/CLEANING/COOKING/SOMETHING. If I go out and genuinely have fun and enjoy myself, I immediately feel guilty about it because you must have done something wrong, look at how stupid you must have looked, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU LOOKED LIKE AN ASS. They were just being nice because they felt bad, you know they're talking about you now. FFS, I can barely spend a day with my parents without thinking I screwed it up somehow. 

So then I don't do anything so that I can't make myself feel bad about it later. But I WANT to go out and talk to people, so I get more depressed, and withdrawn, resentful and angry and start lashing out at those around me. Feel bad about it later, and so on. And it builds up, and I'm stressed all the time and just so tired. And how do you explain that to anyone without sounding completely insane?

And this is all TMI, and probably won't do any good, but I just....don't know.

It's simple, really.  You lack Slack.  You worry about what other people think of you.  You worry that having a good time is somehow BADWRONG.  In many people, this leads them to join religious groups that frown on fun entirely.  In others, it leads to the situation you find yourself in. 

That's the EASY part.  The hard part is doing something ABOUT it.  My advice is to work with a therapist, combined with some exercise.  Assuming you can AFFORD a therapist.  If you can't, talk to Nigel, who may have some information on how to find publicly funded therapy.  If this turns out not to be an option, then there's The Cure.  That should be considered a last resort, of course, as it tends to turn you into a 44 year old, bitter old man that hates everyone and spends all his time NOT giving a shit what most people think.  That does, believe it or not, have some downsides.

I can't see that.  What is it?

It's a WOMP of you dressed up like Robert Smith.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I've noticed with me that cleaning is a good psychological trigger- maybe it is with you and that's why you're focusing on it. Clean your external environment and you're cleaning the internal one as well. But sometimes it's hard to do until you finally just go, "alright, gotta clean this room"

Twid,
Actually does need to clean his room, and it's probably the right time for the trigger anyway.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In a real funk, and it only seems to be getting worse. Especially when my brain seems to be actively working against me trying to pull myself out of it. If I just stop and relax for a bit, I worry that I should be doing something, or I'm forgetting to do something or WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE NOT DOING THE LAUNDRY/CLEANING/COOKING/SOMETHING. If I go out and genuinely have fun and enjoy myself, I immediately feel guilty about it because you must have done something wrong, look at how stupid you must have looked, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU LOOKED LIKE AN ASS. They were just being nice because they felt bad, you know they're talking about you now. FFS, I can barely spend a day with my parents without thinking I screwed it up somehow. 

So then I don't do anything so that I can't make myself feel bad about it later. But I WANT to go out and talk to people, so I get more depressed, and withdrawn, resentful and angry and start lashing out at those around me. Feel bad about it later, and so on. And it builds up, and I'm stressed all the time and just so tired. And how do you explain that to anyone without sounding completely insane?

And this is all TMI, and probably won't do any good, but I just....don't know.

It's simple, really.  You lack Slack.  You worry about what other people think of you.  You worry that having a good time is somehow BADWRONG.  In many people, this leads them to join religious groups that frown on fun entirely.  In others, it leads to the situation you find yourself in. 

That's the EASY part.  The hard part is doing something ABOUT it.  My advice is to work with a therapist, combined with some exercise.  Assuming you can AFFORD a therapist.  If you can't, talk to Nigel, who may have some information on how to find publicly funded therapy.  If this turns out not to be an option, then there's The Cure.  That should be considered a last resort, of course, as it tends to turn you into a 44 year old, bitter old man that hates everyone and spends all his time NOT giving a shit what most people think.  That does, believe it or not, have some downsides.

I can't see that.  What is it?

It's a WOMP of you dressed up like Robert Smith.

You DO realize that I am less than a hundred miles away, right?

Speaking of which, what are you doing the first weekend of November?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

In a real funk, and it only seems to be getting worse. Especially when my brain seems to be actively working against me trying to pull myself out of it. If I just stop and relax for a bit, I worry that I should be doing something, or I'm forgetting to do something or WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE NOT DOING THE LAUNDRY/CLEANING/COOKING/SOMETHING. If I go out and genuinely have fun and enjoy myself, I immediately feel guilty about it because you must have done something wrong, look at how stupid you must have looked, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU LOOKED LIKE AN ASS. They were just being nice because they felt bad, you know they're talking about you now. FFS, I can barely spend a day with my parents without thinking I screwed it up somehow. 

So then I don't do anything so that I can't make myself feel bad about it later. But I WANT to go out and talk to people, so I get more depressed, and withdrawn, resentful and angry and start lashing out at those around me. Feel bad about it later, and so on. And it builds up, and I'm stressed all the time and just so tired. And how do you explain that to anyone without sounding completely insane?

And this is all TMI, and probably won't do any good, but I just....don't know.

It's simple, really.  You lack Slack.  You worry about what other people think of you.  You worry that having a good time is somehow BADWRONG.  In many people, this leads them to join religious groups that frown on fun entirely.  In others, it leads to the situation you find yourself in. 

That's the EASY part.  The hard part is doing something ABOUT it.  My advice is to work with a therapist, combined with some exercise.  Assuming you can AFFORD a therapist.  If you can't, talk to Nigel, who may have some information on how to find publicly funded therapy.  If this turns out not to be an option, then there's The Cure.  That should be considered a last resort, of course, as it tends to turn you into a 44 year old, bitter old man that hates everyone and spends all his time NOT giving a shit what most people think.  That does, believe it or not, have some downsides.

I can't see that.  What is it?

It's a WOMP of you dressed up like Robert Smith.

You DO realize that I am less than a hundred miles away, right?

Speaking of which, what are you doing the first weekend of November?

Fuck, Vex. You're gonna get THE HOLIES^(TM).

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Nothing that I'm aware of yet.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Stelz, going for a run feels pretty tempting right now I must say. Which is good, because that means I'm in the spot where I actually want to fix myself up rather than drown myself. Don't have a gym membership yet (maybe through work? I do work at a hospital....) but a good long walk tonight considering the air temperature might be better for the short term.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Nothing that I'm aware of yet.

Now you are.  My birthday party is scheduled for that Saturday, and you need to get down here for it.  There will be booze.  There will be freaks.  There will be a declaration of martial law.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Dude, I'd be all up in that gym. 

When you're fixing yourself, you tend to drown yourself less because it undoes a bunch of work. I mean, some weekends just can't be passed up, but for the most part, you get constructive. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Can see pic now.

I'm saving some of Cookie's jungle juice for you, mister.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Nothing that I'm aware of yet.

Now you are.  My birthday party is scheduled for that Saturday, and you need to get down here for it.  There will be booze.  There will be freaks.  There will be a declaration of martial law.

Yeah it's probably about time I did one of those IRL meet-up things.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Dude, I'd be all up in that gym. 

When you're fixing yourself, you tend to drown yourself less because it undoes a bunch of work. I mean, some weekends just can't be passed up, but for the most part, you get constructive. 

I also need to get shoes that don't fucking reek and I can run in.

Twid's feet,
Getting kinda sciencey in this waiting area.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Nothing that I'm aware of yet.

Now you are.  My birthday party is scheduled for that Saturday, and you need to get down here for it.  There will be booze.  There will be freaks.  There will be a declaration of martial law.

Yeah it's probably about time I did one of those IRL meet-up things.

Yep.  You get to meet

Nurse Enabler
ThatGreenGentleman
Sister Gothique
Freeky

and a couple of others.  Plus a load of fucking weirdos who have no concept of "moderation" when it comes to weird fucking high-octane drink recipes.

You have a bunk while you're here, that's no problem.  If transportation is an issue, let me know.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL ROGER
but i might make a small exception in this case.