Unlimited family butthurt thread

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Actually, seriously Nigel, you gave me an inarguable position.

You don't say fag at work. That's it. Story over.

Awesome! Glad I could be useful.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Actually, seriously Nigel, you gave me an inarguable position.

You don't say fag at work. That's it. Story over.

Awesome! Glad I could be useful.

I mean, thank the shit out of you but yeah.

If ANYONE said that shit at work.....


Yeah, you're done asshole.


So why is the dinner table different? I mean, aside from secret fags taking offense while angrily eating turkey (AND GETTING NO LEFT OVERS I might add!)

[Freeky]

Actually, seriously Nigel, you gave me an inarguable position.

You don't say fag at work. That's it. Story over.

Awesome! Glad I could be useful.

I mean, thank the shit out of you but yeah.

If ANYONE said that shit at work.....


Yeah, you're done asshole.


So why is the dinner table different? I mean, aside from secret fags taking offense while angrily eating turkey (AND GETTING NO LEFT OVERS I might add!)

Because it's Family, probably, and any shit talking can be done, even about your own family members, as long as you aren't saying it to their face.  So it is in fact you who was the dick, Twid.  You are a Bad Person, having broken the rule about Not Causing Drama With The Person Who You Had a Problem With. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Actually, seriously Nigel, you gave me an inarguable position.

You don't say fag at work. That's it. Story over.

Awesome! Glad I could be useful.

I mean, thank the shit out of you but yeah.

If ANYONE said that shit at work.....


Yeah, you're done asshole.


So why is the dinner table different? I mean, aside from secret fags taking offense while angrily eating turkey (AND GETTING NO LEFT OVERS I might add!)

Because it's Family, probably, and any shit talking can be done, even about your own family members, as long as you aren't saying it to their face.  So it is in fact you who was the dick, Twid.  You are a Bad Person, having broken the rule about Not Causing Drama With The Person Who You Had a Problem With. 

Here's the thing Freeky.

Every gathering, they say it to me.

I'm exactly like him. I'm exactly like him. I'm exactly like him.

I've never met him.

I walk like him. I talk like him. I think like him. I am him. Just a little more Irish. A little more immigrant. But I AM HIM.

Who is him?

Twid, how would your mother think about this whole thing?

Aunt, how would your father think about this whole thing?

How would your father think?

How would your father?

Your father?

Father?

Father?

Father?


Apparently I'm his clone. With a little bit of my dad's side. I walk like him. I talk like him. I think like him. CAN I TELL YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP LIKE HIM?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

My mother's father died of cancer in 1979.

I was born in 1981.

My aunts can't help but comment, constantly, that I am exactly like him, with a touch of Raymond (my other grandfather).


Then shut the fuck up and listen to your father.

[Aucoq]

My mother's father died of cancer in 1979.

I was born in 1981.

My aunts can't help but comment, constantly, that I am exactly like him, with a touch of Raymond (my other grandfather).


Then shut the fuck up and listen to your father.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

My mother's father died of cancer in 1979.

I was born in 1981.

My aunts can't help but comment, constantly, that I am exactly like him, with a touch of Raymond (my other grandfather).


Then shut the fuck up and listen to your father.

I gotta say Aucoq, that was very nice to type.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Actually, seriously Nigel, you gave me an inarguable position.

You don't say fag at work. That's it. Story over.

Awesome! Glad I could be useful.

I mean, thank the shit out of you but yeah.

If ANYONE said that shit at work.....


Yeah, you're done asshole.


So why is the dinner table different? I mean, aside from secret fags taking offense while angrily eating turkey (AND GETTING NO LEFT OVERS I might add!)

In my view, you Do Not Shit Talk at the dinner table. Calling people "bitch", "fag", etc. is absolutely not appropriate dinner table talk. But then, realize that my family background on my mom's side is Mormon, so it might be a little more strict than others. No negative talk at the dinner table, it sours digestion. Keep sweet.

But some things, IMO, the Mormons got right.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Actually, seriously Nigel, you gave me an inarguable position.

You don't say fag at work. That's it. Story over.

Awesome! Glad I could be useful.

I mean, thank the shit out of you but yeah.

If ANYONE said that shit at work.....


Yeah, you're done asshole.


So why is the dinner table different? I mean, aside from secret fags taking offense while angrily eating turkey (AND GETTING NO LEFT OVERS I might add!)

Because it's Family, probably, and any shit talking can be done, even about your own family members, as long as you aren't saying it to their face.  So it is in fact you who was the dick, Twid.  You are a Bad Person, having broken the rule about Not Causing Drama With The Person Who You Had a Problem With. 

Here's the thing Freeky.

Every gathering, they say it to me.

I'm exactly like him. I'm exactly like him. I'm exactly like him.

I've never met him.

I walk like him. I talk like him. I think like him. I am him. Just a little more Irish. A little more immigrant. But I AM HIM.

Who is him?

Twid, how would your mother think about this whole thing?

Aunt, how would your father think about this whole thing?

How would your father think?

How would your father?

Your father?

Father?

Father?

Father?


Apparently I'm his clone. With a little bit of my dad's side. I walk like him. I talk like him. I think like him. CAN I TELL YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP LIKE HIM?

Just go for it and see what happens. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Actually, seriously Nigel, you gave me an inarguable position.

You don't say fag at work. That's it. Story over.

Awesome! Glad I could be useful.

I mean, thank the shit out of you but yeah.

If ANYONE said that shit at work.....


Yeah, you're done asshole.


So why is the dinner table different? I mean, aside from secret fags taking offense while angrily eating turkey (AND GETTING NO LEFT OVERS I might add!)

In my view, you Do Not Shit Talk at the dinner table. Calling people "bitch", "fag", etc. is absolutely not appropriate dinner table talk. But then, realize that my family background on my mom's side is Mormon, so it might be a little more strict than others. No negative talk at the dinner table, it sours digestion. Keep sweet.

But some things, IMO, the Mormons got right.

It's not acceptable at my table.

I'm not exactly sure when my table went out of line with my mother's family, but there is no congruency.

And considering that I am tire of sitting back and waiting for someone else to do something....



Well, yeah.


I am ready to speak for my dead grandfather.

Because I'm pretty damn sure I know what he would say to me.

And I'm pretty damn sure I know what he would say to them.

He's been dead too long, and Diane's asshole husband has been tolerated too long.

Time to bring Buddy back to the table.

[Freeky]

I really love the "What would your father think?" As a comeback. Especially because it sounds like they go on for ages with comparing you to him. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I really love the "What would your father think?" As a comeback. Especially because it sounds like they go on for ages with comparing you to him.

I was talking to one of my cousins who used him as that sort of example. She told me to expect a lukewarm response.

Except, well, I've been hearing that I'm his goddamn reincarnation for years. So maybe it will work this time.



The more I hear about my grandfather the more I wish he were still alive. Partially because I think he would be an awesome dude to chill with, and partially because this arguement with Diane would have never happened because he would have said, "Richie, shut the fuck up or GTFO" and that would have been the end of it.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

As a late comer to this debacle, I'd like to say that the text message exchange read like your godmother/aunt is baffled and bewildered at your failure to capitulate to her adult directives. She's having trouble accepting that you're all grown-up. Like her! Only more articulate! And, y'know, with reasons for the shit you say.

You're not respecting your elders, Twid. Tsk-tsk. Try the father line and report back. :P

I've been out of contact with my entire family, except for monthly-ish e-mail exchanges with my mom for 10 years and it's reached a point where she's resigned to it and I'm unloading baggage without dumping it on her.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

As a late comer to this debacle, I'd like to say that the text message exchange read like your godmother/aunt is baffled and bewildered at your failure to capitulate to her adult directives. She's having trouble accepting that you're all grown-up. Like her! Only more articulate! And, y'know, with reasons for the shit you say.

You're not respecting your elders, Twid. Tsk-tsk. Try the father line and report back. :P

I've been out of contact with my entire family, except for monthly-ish e-mail exchanges with my mom for 10 years and it's reached a point where she's resigned to it and I'm unloading baggage without dumping it on her.

I think that's a really big part of it. As far as my generation goes, I'm the second born. My cousin, who I've been mentioning here (not the heroin addict but his sister) is the first born. And she told me yesterday "I had to explain to my mother (the same aunt who was called a bitch) that we aren't a clump of babies, but real people who have positions on things and who get offended by shit"

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

As a late comer to this debacle, I'd like to say that the text message exchange read like your godmother/aunt is baffled and bewildered at your failure to capitulate to her adult directives. She's having trouble accepting that you're all grown-up. Like her! Only more articulate! And, y'know, with reasons for the shit you say.

You're not respecting your elders, Twid. Tsk-tsk. Try the father line and report back. :P

I've been out of contact with my entire family, except for monthly-ish e-mail exchanges with my mom for 10 years and it's reached a point where she's resigned to it and I'm unloading baggage without dumping it on her.

I think that's a really big part of it. As far as my generation goes, I'm the second born. My cousin, who I've been mentioning here (not the heroin addict but his sister) is the first born. And she told me yesterday "I had to explain to my mother (the same aunt who was called a bitch) that we aren't a clump of babies, but real people who have positions on things and who get offended by shit"

It reminds them of their own mortality and how things have changed and they aren't changing with 'em. Some day, that will be you. And that's the part that makes us bitchy. Because we know some day we're going to be arguing with our descendants and wondering what the fuck those bastards have been smoking.