The (Not A Fucking Rant) Jihad Sermon

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Sermon on Eristicism:
Wherein Much is Explained About Nothing Relevant to You;
and Possibly Some Elucidation Expounded About the Great Discordian Jihad Both For And Against the Bureaucracy...


My fellow Discordians of bothy sticky and non-stick varieties,
Much talk has been floating around about certain segments of our Society being sorely vexed about finding certain round golden shiny damned things in their midst. Some of you, I hear, are complaining; believing yourselves to be immune to Eris and Her social antics. Some of you, I hear, can't take a joke. Let the following words then speak to you, if that is you, in as much as the word 'you' means anything.

But first off, I want you to take out your dictionaries and look up the word 'eristic.' If you have a good dictionary, you will find the actual listing for the word. Got it yet? Good....now read the definition because you'll need to keep it in mind to understand what I have to say to you all.

Some of you, I hear, are troubled that some of us are not making any distinction between US and THEM in our efforts to shake things up and sink the damned ship. What pray tell, put it into your heads that being a Discordian gave you some sort of immunity from Golden Apple tossing?
The reason why the Great Discordian Jihad was launched was primarily to prove that assumption wrong. How do you go around calling yourselves 'eristic' or Discordian, or what-have-you, and yet believe that you have immunity from the discord we cause? (Shit. Most of what you are whining about hasn't even really been serious discord caused by any of us. It has usually been a silly joke just for hoots and hollers.)

Your own laughter is the immunity. And if you can't take a joke, well...you know where you can go. We do have a use for Mao buttons, you know...and so would be happy to have a few more. And you didn't hear that from me.

Some of you think that some of us are being assholes. Have you forgotten how to laugh? Are you Discordian, but yet claim to be able to arbitrarily label others as assholes simply because they are carrying out Operation Mindfuck, or having a good time? Really, if you don't like this game we play, you are free to try other games. Hell, you are free to carry on as you have been, whining about the damned things we are causing. Far be it from me to tell you what to do. But at least try to ask yourselves the question, "Why do I not find this shit funny?" when you feel yourselves the victims of the Discordian Jihad. (Besides Discordians can't be assholes, but sometimes can be funny or ODD jerks. And every now and then we need to just shut up while we're ahead.)

I was there in the beginning of the DJ (Discordian Jihad) and, though I have been participating in it and loudly and longwindedly supportive of the whole mess, I have also fallen victim to some funny pranks. Did I whine and complain about that? No. I simply kept playing the game. As it has always been said, you can choose to participate in the DJ, or not, or maybe...or something else entirely. But please stop your whining about how eristic we are, or can be, or are getting. Otherwise I will have to start ranting again....and I really really really need a break from ranting.

Or nevermind. Just forget you even heard this.

Now back to your regularly schedule programming.

[nov.27.2004]

[Horab Fibslager]

yeah stfu hugh.  

[~~~~Closed~~~~]

summary for those of use with no attention san. post haste.

[saint aini]

Why must we resort to violence like the muslims?

We commit atrocities against logic, but not against people like St. Augustine did when he ordered the murder of an entire town because he couldn't determine who were christians and who were heretics.

[Bob the Mediocre]

::Stabs all who think violence solves anything::

[East Coast Hustle]

when has anyone on this board resorted to violence?

besides me, of course....I have an army to keep busy....that's what we do...

[Horab Fibslager]

when the lynch mobs coem knocking, woe be to him who thinks to defend himself with only his with and charm.


hotsuma, i think basiclly he;s sayign stop crying, it's onyl a game.

or in cs speak

d00d1: WTG OMG BBQ HAX0R!
d00d2: what?
d00d1: YOU ARE HACKIGN WHAT FUCKIGN BULLSHIT! YOU"VE HEADSHOTTED ME LIKE 10x!!!!!
d00d2: it's called aim.
d00d2: WTF BBQ LIAR!!! STOP USING THE AK!!! STOP KILLING ME!!!
d00d1: that's the point of the game, stfu n00b, stop whining.
d00d2: WTF OMFG!!! YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! ADMINS BAN THIS CHEATER PLZ!!!
d00d1: ...

[Ben]

Don't be cruel.  Don't step on my blue suede shoes.

[East Coast Hustle]

Why must we resort to violence like the muslims?

wow...no sweeping generalizations/borderline racism there....cuz, ya know, everyone who practices the muslim religion is a murderous psychopath, hell-bent on destroying america and seeing the infidels burn to death...yup, even the two hundred thousand or so who live in Dearborn, in your backyard....good thing the jews and christians are such peace-loving, reasonable people....

[saint aini]

when has anyone on this board resorted to violence?

besides me, of course....I have an army to keep busy....that's what we do...

See the stabbing threads.

[East Coast Hustle]

it's a real army, darlin'....they need real violence to keep them satisfied...or at least, a steady diet of mischief and tomfoolery....

[saint aini]

it's a real army, darlin'....they need real violence to keep them satisfied...or at least, a steady diet of mischief and tomfoolery....

go build Horab's wall on the 49th parallel.  It's what the Roman army did to keep busy.

[East Coast Hustle]

why would I want to wall off a country that I plan to invade later? that seems kinda self defeating...


geez...no response to the race-baiting post? I'm impressed...

[Cain]

it's a real army, darlin'....they need real violence to keep them satisfied...or at least, a steady diet of mischief and tomfoolery....

Oo, sounds fun!

[East Coast Hustle]

New Soviet Red Army...if you hate your government, have no regard for laws or ethics, enjoy fucking shit up while retaining a healthy appreciation for subtlety, and want to be at the front of the line for plundering the world once we've conquered it, feel free to enlist.

just remember, deserters will be shot.

















twice.