ITT: Best Posts of the Day

[Eater of Clowns]

Squid in the wild die soon after reproduction, on purpose. When uplifted by humans, ingeniopods were made to be capable of multiple reproductive events without dying. But there's still an instinct down deep in their heritage to have sex and die. It has become a twisted impulse that mashes together a desire for murder/suicide with sex. So, I envision the dark sexuality of the creatures in Lovecraft would resonate, and they'd engage in worship and rituals involving them to hold back these instincts.

Wait a minute...

What squid species die after reproduction in a pre-planned way? Most squid have short lifespans, so they only get one or two cracks at mating seasons, but I think you've got octopuses on the brain here (specifically the giant pacific octopus).

Well. I did say we were prudish about such things, but very well.

Architeuthis explodius, or more commonly, the demolition squid, is known for its tendency to interweave complex displays of explosions into its behavior. Whilst this grants it an obvious advantage in hunting, and assists it in claiming territory in the London sewers where it is most commonly encountered, it does make the mating habits of the species both difficult to observe and highly dangerous for members of the species, observers, and the structural integrity of nearby buildings.

Quite why the demolition squid feels compelled to hunt out unexploded bombs and incorporate them into its mating ritual is a subject hotly contested by scholars of the species. It is believed that it may have come about during the blitz, when several of the species were caught with their pants down during a raid, and the sudden introduction of several tons of explosive force leant a certain 'kick' to proceedings. Now, it seems that mating rights are accorded only to the pair who can accumulate the most 'bang'. Thus the popular slang in artillery units throughout the world, who refer to shelling as 'stirring up the squids' or 'spreading the ink'.

The most convincing argument for the behavior, however, is that it helps to keep territorial conflicts to a minimum. Following the presentation of the largest collection of shells (or 'banging beaks' as they are known in the squid's own community), the lesser squids retreat to their lairs, and detonate their explosives alone. Without the cushioning material of a second squid (and the impact-absorbing 'fluids' excreted during the mating), this results in large sections of London being opened up for new territorial claims. As the squids can't afford the rent in high class areas, and it keeps the property developers in regular business, nobody minds too much. Well, not anyone important anyway.

AND NOW YOU KNOW.

[Freeky]

Goddammit, DemoSquid.   

[Doktor Howl]

On FB today, me talking to Zenpatista:

Think of my career as Melania Trump, and your career as Melania Trump only without the gold toilets.

[Zenpatista]

On FB today, me talking to Zenpatista:

Think of my career as Melania Trump, and your career as Melania Trump only without the gold toilets.

That is far too ridiculously accurate. Angry, balding white men yell frequently where I work. And most of the time I take it stoically like MT. I work in a public university and nothing I have is gold plated. In fact the entire operation is sometimes more similar to the toilet interior rather than any kind of toiled, plated or not.