ITT - OFFICIAL VOTING FOR NEW MEXICO

[The Good Reverend Roger]

DO NOT LET THEM FOOL YOU.
THIS ELECTION IS A SHAM!
CHOOSE ANONEXICO
WE DO NOT FORGIVE.
WE DO NOT FORGET.
WE DO TAKE SIESTAS, HOWEVER.

I can support this shit.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

This campaign is worthless without super pacs.

[Cain]

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Thread delivers!

[Junkenstein]

Amigos,

This tedious but FAIR AND IMPARTIAL process draws to a close. For those who remain indifferent the candidates stand as follows:

CISHETREP TGGR - Still popular despite openly hating you all and refusing to surrender the second part of the joke that he started. Clearly a lost cause.

The Interim ruling Government - We didn't care anyway. And we only started this in the first place because certain reptoids forgot there was even a joke. Whatever. Like we care. Did I mention we don't care? Because we don't.

EOC - No one belived your lies a second time. Has ignored proceedings because he knows he's doomed to failure. Just like INFINITE MEXICO that no-one remembers.

LMNO - Handjobs prove to be unappealing to the masses over the long term. The people are looking for commitment.

WAFFLES-  Like LMNO, there is little popular support to outsource MEXICO

Queen Gogira - You best hope she's got a joke up her sleeve. Or Sleeves. You've seen the tentacles. Not mentioning the mandibles as she made my stunning campaign poster.

Above all, we can see and all agree that this has been fair and open. Fight for the remaining votes MEXICOS.

Or don't and let this great state be ruined by anonimexico. Because they've got realistic plans for the future.

Choose wisely! 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

No we cant have that. I would like to throw my flat cap into the ring and put on a sombrero. I promise you nothing for i an an honest politician. Unless youre a lobbyist. I can however promise you project infinite mexico election until roger reveals the second half of the joke.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Hermanos y hermanas- tonight i will give a press conference for reveal informacion muy importante about los candidatos and the terrible truth behind the second half of the joke. Followed by a question and answer session.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

¡Amigos y patriotas! I bring to you terrible tidings in this dark hour, where lies are being spread by prospective MEXICOS and rumors about the existence or non-existence of the second part of the joke. What I bring forth to you is evidence of a wide gran conspiración, and información pertinent to the second part of the joke. Indeed, by the end of this conference it will be made clear at the end of this press conference why my campaign for MEXICO is being surpressed by a shadowy group of banditos, and what the second part of the joke is.

¡Arroz y frijoles! Señor Hunkenstein refuses to put me on the ballot, for he knows the danger that I pose, and that if I manage to expose these hombres malos for the calcetines that they are, there will be social upheaval resulting in a MEXICO that is truly para el pueblo, por el pueblo y del pueblo. Luchadores y cucarachas, these conspiradores will not engage me in public debate, for they know that I can expose them and their lies for who they really are. I have intelligence gathered that they intended to assassinate me because I know too much, so my only form of protection, your only form of protection, is for me to come out and tell you what I know to be fact. Conquistadores y baristas, if they harm me now, then they will have confirmed the truth about what I am about to say. It is better for them to leave some with the seed of doubt, than to expose themselves so brazenly. ¡No! Instead they will drag my name through the mud and label me loco, and those who see the truth as people on the fringe, social outcasts.

¡Camisas y pantalones! Even now there is pointless debate over whether or not there is a second half of the joke, when even now squadrons of the second half of the joke appear in our night skies for everyone to see, and pulling of incredible, impossible maneuvers. Our Air Force cannot intercept them. The Cishetrep known as Rojelio tells you that there is a second half of the joke, so that you doubt him. He is telling you this to deceive you. There is a second half of the joke. He really does want to keep it from you. It is highly classified informacion. This is a new tactic developed by the evil Rojelio called mismisinformacion. There is a larger plot going on.

Manzanas y naranjas, this brings me to that shill for the United Nations, El Chupaclowna, and his Project Infinite Mexico. This is a blatant attempt at a New World Order. He wants to round us up into detention camps and put us in FEMA coffins. Fortunately, most people seem to be unimpressed with his foul schemes, but he will never cease in trying to realize their fruition.

Pelucas y jaguares, it gets worse. El hombre lascivo known to you by the nom de guerre, El Emeño promises you the hand job, but it will not be you to receive the hand job. It will be him to lay back and enjoy the fruits of your Manuel labor. It is nothing more than trickle down economics in a way that Ronaldo Reagano never foresaw.

Piso mojados y mojitos, Waffles has yet to produce his long form certificate to back his claims that he is a Viking Princess from Belgium. There is no certificate. He was born in los Estados Unidos and is disqualified from running as MEXICO. And more to that, he is neither a Viking nor a princess, but rather a cab driver and a baroness.

Cervezas y jabones, this leaves me with La Reina Gohira. Actually I'm quite in favor of her platform, but ¿where is the tax dinero going to come from? Sure, everyone wants tentacles and cookies, but the pesos just aren't in the budget for me. It is everyone's responsibility to get their own tentacles and cookies, even if they can't afford them. ¿Why is she even given serious consideration?

Compañeros, it is because of Rojelio and his vast conspiracion has propped her up to divert our attention from the real issue- the second part of the joke. The second part of the joke is this whole thread. Rojelio knew that this would happen, and that is why he is keeping the joke to himself. If we knew that this was the joke, it would cease to be funny. The joke must exist at our expense. This is not a democracy. ¿Donde esta Nigel? She is not on the ballot. Nor is Señor Bearman. If this were a democracy, a MEXICO truly for the people, we would all be on the ballot. This is why I run for MEXICO at great personal risk from los Illuminatos. ¿Who will run with me? ¡VIVA NO MEXICO!

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

It appears that my opponent Señor Twid is unfamiliar with the economics of large-scale tentacle distribution, which unfortunately is what we have come to expect from prospective MEXICOs. Unlike other candidates, my track record speaks for itself.
The People demanded cookies, and I supplied them with cookies.
The People demanded snail porn, and I supplied them with snail porn.
Twid talks a big game about tentacles, but what does he really know about them? He's maybe .5% tentacle at most. I have tentacles coming out of my face. I'm so full of tentacles I'm not allowed within 100 yards of schools or playgrounds. When I was born they had to bury my placenta in the swamp to keep the dogs from tearing up the garbage and now the tentacles are under the entire eastern seaboard. "¿where is the tax dinero going to come from?" indeed.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It appears that my opponent Señor Twid is unfamiliar with the economics of large-scale tentacle distribution, which unfortunately is what we have come to expect from prospective MEXICOs. Unlike other candidates, my track record speaks for itself.
The People demanded cookies, and I supplied them with cookies.
The People demanded snail porn, and I supplied them with snail porn.
Twid talks a big game about tentacles, but what does he really know about them? He's maybe .5% tentacle at most. I have tentacles coming out of my face. I'm so full of tentacles I'm not allowed within 100 yards of schools or playgrounds. When I was born they had to bury my placenta in the swamp to keep the dogs from tearing up the garbage and now the tentacles are under the entire eastern seaboard. "¿where is the tax dinero going to come from?" indeed.

All I know is that people have been promising tentacles for some time now and the tentacles do not come. We're too busy waiting in line for the tentacles like Canadianos to actually get the tentacles. It's like waiting for toilet paper and bread in Leningrad. There are no tentacles. There is no denero to pay for it. Los pesos need to go to better programas. You have delivered on the snail porn and the cookies. You cannot deliver on the tentacles. I did not see any of your supposed tentacles when we had comida.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

It appears that my opponent Señor Twid is unfamiliar with the economics of large-scale tentacle distribution, which unfortunately is what we have come to expect from prospective MEXICOs. Unlike other candidates, my track record speaks for itself.
The People demanded cookies, and I supplied them with cookies.
The People demanded snail porn, and I supplied them with snail porn.
Twid talks a big game about tentacles, but what does he really know about them? He's maybe .5% tentacle at most. I have tentacles coming out of my face. I'm so full of tentacles I'm not allowed within 100 yards of schools or playgrounds. When I was born they had to bury my placenta in the swamp to keep the dogs from tearing up the garbage and now the tentacles are under the entire eastern seaboard. "¿where is the tax dinero going to come from?" indeed.

All I know is that people have been promising tentacles for some time now and the tentacles do not come. We're too busy waiting in line for the tentacles like Canadianos to actually get the tentacles. It's like waiting for toilet paper and bread in Leningrad. There are no tentacles. There is no denero to pay for it. Los pesos need to go to better programas. You have delivered on the snail porn and the cookies. You cannot deliver on the tentacles. I did not see any of your supposed tentacles when we had comida.

No tentacles were promised for comida, and I'm not MEXICO yet. Your campaign is built on half-truths and unrealistic demands. Is this what The People want for their MEXICO?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It appears that my opponent Señor Twid is unfamiliar with the economics of large-scale tentacle distribution, which unfortunately is what we have come to expect from prospective MEXICOs. Unlike other candidates, my track record speaks for itself.
The People demanded cookies, and I supplied them with cookies.
The People demanded snail porn, and I supplied them with snail porn.
Twid talks a big game about tentacles, but what does he really know about them? He's maybe .5% tentacle at most. I have tentacles coming out of my face. I'm so full of tentacles I'm not allowed within 100 yards of schools or playgrounds. When I was born they had to bury my placenta in the swamp to keep the dogs from tearing up the garbage and now the tentacles are under the entire eastern seaboard. "¿where is the tax dinero going to come from?" indeed.

All I know is that people have been promising tentacles for some time now and the tentacles do not come. We're too busy waiting in line for the tentacles like Canadianos to actually get the tentacles. It's like waiting for toilet paper and bread in Leningrad. There are no tentacles. There is no denero to pay for it. Los pesos need to go to better programas. You have delivered on the snail porn and the cookies. You cannot deliver on the tentacles. I did not see any of your supposed tentacles when we had comida.

No tentacles were promised for comida, and I'm not MEXICO yet. Your campaign is built on half-truths and unrealistic demands. Is this what The People want for their MEXICO?

You can deny being a puppet of Rojelio all you want, but I think that I have demonstrated fool-proof logic to the contrary.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I see that I have been added to the ballot. I have already voted and demand a reset of the vote as tradition dictates, so that I may vote for myself and 4 other people.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

This truly is a sham! Señor Hunkenstein has reset the vote everytime a nuevo candidato has joined the election, except for me. I can only assume that he was doing this all along as a false flag operation to deflect attencion away from Rojelio's machinaciones. ¡Your lies are transparent, Señor Hunkenstein, you botella vacía de mostaza!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

¿Do you see now, Reina, how you have been set up as a puppet?