Author Topic: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.  (Read 7588 times)

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #30 on: May 01, 2013, 02:30:30 pm »
Well, that wrapped up in a neat little package everything I hate about people who feel the need to judge couples for having kids in their 20s.


Cain

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #31 on: May 01, 2013, 04:14:47 pm »
They write for the Huffington Post.

Of course they're douchebags.

Elder Iptuous

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #32 on: May 01, 2013, 04:23:15 pm »
Quote
*Editor's note: This dad wishes to remain anonymous, so we've published this piece under a pen name.
anonymous author?
i call troll.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #33 on: May 01, 2013, 04:33:35 pm »
Quote
*Editor's note: This dad wishes to remain anonymous, so we've published this piece under a pen name.
anonymous author?
i call troll.

I think Ippy might be onto something.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Hoopla!

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #34 on: May 01, 2013, 04:41:25 pm »
I haven't read most of the comments in this thread, so forgive me if this comment has been thoroughly danced all over like a mexican sombrero (are there sombreros which aren't mexican?  Is that a real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?).  But, I found this comment to be the key to the entire rant:

Quote
(I never did figure out what exactly was appropriate to masturbate to: A bigger house? Moving to the suburbs?)

So instead of thinking of Grover, like the rest of us, he's wanking to mental images of a house in the suburb.

And, Nigel's right, we don't know what the wife is actually like, since she didn't write this piece, but... she married the piece of shit, so I would imagine she's as big a wiener as he is.
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #35 on: May 01, 2013, 05:03:09 pm »
I haven't read most of the comments in this thread, so forgive me if this comment has been thoroughly danced all over like a mexican sombrero (are there sombreros which aren't mexican?  Is that a real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?).  But, I found this comment to be the key to the entire rant:

Quote
(I never did figure out what exactly was appropriate to masturbate to: A bigger house? Moving to the suburbs?)

So instead of thinking of Grover, like the rest of us, he's wanking to mental images of a house in the suburb.

And, Nigel's right, we don't know what the wife is actually like, since she didn't write this piece, but... she married the piece of shit, so I would imagine she's as big a wiener as he is.

I'm not quite ready to go that far, because I married an enormous douche and stayed with him for seven years. He was charming at first, and then I'd made a commitment and was going to stick with it, and then we had a baby, etc. etc.

He would TOTALLY go around misrepresenting my thoughts and feelings. For a while there I did a lot of cleanup around that, basically following him around saying "PEZ SPEAKS ONLY FOR HIMSELF AND DOES NOT REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE NIGEL HOUSEHOLD". Then we split up and I kept all our friends.

I'm not saying that's what's going on here, they could both be as douchey as the author is, but there is insufficient evidence to conclude that anyone other than the author is as douchey as he is.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Hoopla!

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #36 on: May 01, 2013, 05:09:13 pm »
I haven't read most of the comments in this thread, so forgive me if this comment has been thoroughly danced all over like a mexican sombrero (are there sombreros which aren't mexican?  Is that a real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?).  But, I found this comment to be the key to the entire rant:

Quote
(I never did figure out what exactly was appropriate to masturbate to: A bigger house? Moving to the suburbs?)

So instead of thinking of Grover, like the rest of us, he's wanking to mental images of a house in the suburb.

And, Nigel's right, we don't know what the wife is actually like, since she didn't write this piece, but... she married the piece of shit, so I would imagine she's as big a wiener as he is.

I'm not quite ready to go that far, because I married an enormous douche and stayed with him for seven years. He was charming at first, and then I'd made a commitment and was going to stick with it, and then we had a baby, etc. etc.

He would TOTALLY go around misrepresenting my thoughts and feelings. For a while there I did a lot of cleanup around that, basically following him around saying "PEZ SPEAKS ONLY FOR HIMSELF AND DOES NOT REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE NIGEL HOUSEHOLD". Then we split up and I kept all our friends.

I'm not saying that's what's going on here, they could both be as douchey as the author is, but there is insufficient evidence to conclude that anyone other than the author is as douchey as he is.

I find it highly unlikely this turd was ever charming. 
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes" — Walt Whitman

Cuddlefish

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #37 on: May 01, 2013, 05:20:11 pm »
I haven't read most of the comments in this thread, so forgive me if this comment has been thoroughly danced all over like a mexican sombrero (are there sombreros which aren't mexican?  Is that a real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?).  But, I found this comment to be the key to the entire rant:

Quote
(I never did figure out what exactly was appropriate to masturbate to: A bigger house? Moving to the suburbs?)

So instead of thinking of Grover, like the rest of us, he's wanking to mental images of a house in the suburb.

And, Nigel's right, we don't know what the wife is actually like, since she didn't write this piece, but... she married the piece of shit, so I would imagine she's as big a wiener as he is.

I'm not quite ready to go that far, because I married an enormous douche and stayed with him for seven years. He was charming at first, and then I'd made a commitment and was going to stick with it, and then we had a baby, etc. etc.

He would TOTALLY go around misrepresenting my thoughts and feelings. For a while there I did a lot of cleanup around that, basically following him around saying "PEZ SPEAKS ONLY FOR HIMSELF AND DOES NOT REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE NIGEL HOUSEHOLD". Then we split up and I kept all our friends.

I'm not saying that's what's going on here, they could both be as douchey as the author is, but there is insufficient evidence to conclude that anyone other than the author is as douchey as he is.

I find it highly unlikely this turd was ever charming.

Charm probably has little to do with it.

F'rinstance, you wouldn't just step in a turd on purpose.
But if someone bagged it up and set it on fire, you might be distracted or dazzled enough to do so.
And that's the thing with shit, yeah? It sticks in all the treads on your shoe, and it's not always easy to get the stink off.
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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #38 on: May 01, 2013, 05:23:46 pm »
I haven't read most of the comments in this thread, so forgive me if this comment has been thoroughly danced all over like a mexican sombrero (are there sombreros which aren't mexican?  Is that a real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?).  But, I found this comment to be the key to the entire rant:

Quote
(I never did figure out what exactly was appropriate to masturbate to: A bigger house? Moving to the suburbs?)

So instead of thinking of Grover, like the rest of us, he's wanking to mental images of a house in the suburb.

And, Nigel's right, we don't know what the wife is actually like, since she didn't write this piece, but... she married the piece of shit, so I would imagine she's as big a wiener as he is.

I'm not quite ready to go that far, because I married an enormous douche and stayed with him for seven years. He was charming at first, and then I'd made a commitment and was going to stick with it, and then we had a baby, etc. etc.

He would TOTALLY go around misrepresenting my thoughts and feelings. For a while there I did a lot of cleanup around that, basically following him around saying "PEZ SPEAKS ONLY FOR HIMSELF AND DOES NOT REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THE NIGEL HOUSEHOLD". Then we split up and I kept all our friends.

I'm not saying that's what's going on here, they could both be as douchey as the author is, but there is insufficient evidence to conclude that anyone other than the author is as douchey as he is.

I find it highly unlikely this turd was ever charming.

What evidence are you basing that on? Gut feeling? Lots of assholes are charming at first.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #39 on: May 01, 2013, 05:24:27 pm »
Or, maybe everyone who marries an asshole is themselves also an asshole, and deserves it.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #40 on: May 01, 2013, 05:25:01 pm »
There's the additional possibility that they're both dismal assholes.  People like that do occasionally find each other.

But they usually move to Oro Valley.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #41 on: May 01, 2013, 05:25:59 pm »
Or, maybe everyone who marries an asshole is themselves also an asshole, and deserves it.

Some do.  I have met married couples who were both assholes.  We don't have enough information in this case, though, just this guy's say-so.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #42 on: May 01, 2013, 05:26:29 pm »
I REALLY have negative feelings about how this thread has veered so heavily towards WELL WHY AREN'T WE HATING ON THAT WOMAN, SHE PROBABLY DESERVES IT TOO, despite the fact that A. we haven't heard from her, and B. it's not really relevant to whether what HE wrote is fucked up and douchey.

But please, don't let me distract you. By all means get back to THAT FUCKING SLUT, SHE MUST BE A CUNT IF SHE'S KNOCKED UP BY SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #43 on: May 01, 2013, 05:28:35 pm »
I REALLY have negative feelings about how this thread has veered so heavily towards WELL WHY AREN'T WE HATING ON THAT WOMAN, SHE PROBABLY DESERVES IT TOO, despite the fact that A. we haven't heard from her, and B. it's not really relevant to whether what HE wrote is fucked up and douchey.

But please, don't let me distract you. By all means get back to THAT FUCKING SLUT, SHE MUST BE A CUNT IF SHE'S KNOCKED UP BY SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

I wasn't saying that.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Elder Iptuous

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Re: The biggest, douchiest, first world problem you will ever read.
« Reply #44 on: May 01, 2013, 05:28:48 pm »
i'm still sticking with troll.