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HUMANS

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, August 20, 2013, 03:50:32 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#45
August 20, 2013, 07:54:22 PM
Humans can pursue you in any environment, even water. 

Humans deliberately hunt things that are physically far more dangerous than themselves, for sport.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#46
August 20, 2013, 07:58:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 20, 2013, 07:54:22 PM
Humans can pursue you in any environment, even water. 

Humans deliberately hunt things that are physically far more dangerous than themselves, for sport.

Holy crap, we do...
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

tyrannosaurus vex

#47
August 20, 2013, 08:00:08 PM
Human cognition supports long-term memory and efficient interpersonal communications. If one of them sees you, they will all know where you are.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#48
August 20, 2013, 08:01:36 PM
Humans inhale the smoke of poisonous plants, which are known to cause organ damage and cancer.  They can't explain why.  They just do it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#49
August 20, 2013, 08:05:07 PM
Humans are so intent on Having A Good Time that they will literally destroy entire populations of other humans who represent competition for plentiful resources. With fire. From flying robots. Because even the act of killing one another is automated in order to free their time for what they consider more important things, like drinking poison until they fall over.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

LMNO

#50
August 20, 2013, 08:09:33 PM
Damn.  We are some bad ass motherfuckers, ain't we?

The Good Reverend Roger

#51
August 20, 2013, 08:10:56 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on August 20, 2013, 08:09:33 PM
Damn.  We are some bad ass motherfuckers, ain't we?

We're like predator.  Only SEXIER.

We reproduce without needing to go into heat. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#52
August 20, 2013, 08:12:08 PM
Humans have such a high opinion of themselves as a species that they experience a nearly spontaneous mating response when presented with a depiction of other members of their species reproducing.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

McGrupp

#53
August 20, 2013, 08:31:10 PM
Humans excrete more than any sentient species. Furthermore they do not seem to regard the activity of 'sweating' as excretion. This has made diplomacy...unpleasant.

Nephew Twiddleton

#54
August 20, 2013, 08:37:58 PM
Early humans would hunt your species into extinction he they found you particularly tasty. Modern humans still hunt you into into extinction now for amusement purposes but if they find you particularly tasty now it ensures your species survival. Your fate as an individual usually involves a conveyor belt however.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Reginald Ret

#55
August 20, 2013, 08:44:58 PM
Quote from: V3X on August 20, 2013, 08:12:08 PM
Humans have such a high opinion of themselves as a species that they experience a nearly spontaneous mating response when presented with a depiction of other members of their species reproducing.
Humans consider reproduction so important that they banned the best protection against their many sexually transmitted diseases on the one continent where the worst of their STDs are rampant.

Humans have several diseases caused by canibalism. While canibalism isn't widely practiced anymore, they do force their livestock to either starve or eat their own species, sometimes even their relatives.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Nephew Twiddleton

#56
August 20, 2013, 09:04:49 PM
Humans are pretty stubborn and have difficulty accepting that some goal might be more effort than its worth. No the human will devise new strategies and tools because you are now a personal challenge. If you strike back it will take offense and finish the job on principle. If you manage to kill the human other humans will come in groups to get you either because youve proved a worthy challenge revenge or perceived threat.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Nephew Twiddleton

#57
August 20, 2013, 09:14:17 PM
One standard human mating ritual involves the consumption of animal carcasses and disinfectant followed by viewing the fictionalized account of killing where the most likable killer goes on to mate with the most alluring female at the end.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Nephew Twiddleton

#58
August 20, 2013, 09:22:25 PM
When humans arrive they may want to sign something called a treaty. Dont fall for it. All that means is there arent enough of them or they havent figured out the best way to kill you yet.
Maintain radio silence. Earth is listening.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Q. G. Pennyworth

#59
August 21, 2013, 05:18:49 AM
Quote from: McGrupp on August 20, 2013, 07:42:55 PM
Hide from the human's eyes. I cannot emphasize this enough. They can see for hundreds of yards. The spectrum of light they can process is ridiculously huge. That wall of plexi that is opaque to you? They can see through it. They can detect motion. They can differentiate shapes. They can even see in all but the most complete darkness.

Remember when you hide! If you can see their eyes, they can see you!

Research based on salvaged human remains indicates that the photon sensing organs (commonly "eyes") can detect three wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation as well as photon density. The photons are detected using two structures in the interior of the organ, one of which is used in in low-light situations and the other collects detailed information about the size, shape, and chemical composition of the object being observed. The orientation of human eyes slightly apart and facing the same direction gives humans the ability to rapidly calculate distances to the objects being observed by use of the parallax effect (a calculation which appears to be done nearly instantaneously). Humans effectively have two fields of vision: one where distance, shape, and other details are easily determined which is believed to be roughly a 90 degree arc (not accounting for movement of the head or the eyes themselves, which makes their field of vision nearly 360 degrees); the second is a specialized type of vision present only on the edges of the standard field of vision which does not process detailed information but motion and changes in light. When this secondary vision detects information that may indicate the presence of predators (or prey) humans are observed to immediately shift focus to the potential threat.

In addition to the explicable data based on observation and autopsy, humans appear to be equipped with still another method of detecting potential threats. If the human is observed from the rear, outside of both fields of vision, small keratin spines at the base of the neck will stiffen, causing the human to turn around and scan for potential threats. Our researchers are currently unable to detect the mechanism by which these keratin spines are activated, and what information we have been able to gather from the humans' own publications indicates that this may also have escaped their own ability to explain.
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