The First Church of the Wrath of Baby Jesus and Open Bar™

[Reginald Ret]

What did I tell you guys?

"Dudes, trust me, it's worth paying a little extra for the upgraded body."

That's what I said. But none of you listened, you all wanted to skimp a little so you could spend the extra on having interesting personalities and look where THAT'S gotten you.

Also, I know one of you bastards stole my perfectly good shoulder while I was sleeping and replaced it with this barely-held-together piece of junk. I don't appreciate it and I hope you enjoy being blamed by everyone else for the fact that I will no longer be giving out these fine government-subsidized replacement buttholes.

I do not know a single professional cook without some form of arm injury. And i know quite  a lot of cooks. Well except for one kid, he is 17. He still has a chance to get out before the pain starts.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What did I tell you guys?

"Dudes, trust me, it's worth paying a little extra for the upgraded body."

That's what I said. But none of you listened, you all wanted to skimp a little so you could spend the extra on having interesting personalities and look where THAT'S gotten you.

Married a million times? 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Well, I am all caught up on paperwork.  That means I can fuck off and write on PD tomorrow. 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Just got off work. It was fun. My shoe fell apart so I put it back together with masking tape. Worked well enough except for the slippy. Ran out of everything. Card reader died. I laughed a lot.

[Suu]

I am in the middle of experiencing my first kidney stone,

I myself am in the process of expelling my horribly intelligent syphilis worms.  Fucking things are the size of your little finger, and chew holes in your DNA.  I'm down to 18 sets of chromosomes, for fuck's sake.

I knew I'd get a cackle if I posted here. You guises are good for fixin' what ails ya.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I am in the middle of experiencing my first kidney stone,

I myself am in the process of expelling my horribly intelligent syphilis worms.  Fucking things are the size of your little finger, and chew holes in your DNA.  I'm down to 18 sets of chromosomes, for fuck's sake.

I knew I'd get a cackle if I posted here. You guises are good for fixin' what ails ya.

Own that shit, Suu.  Expel those stones with KILLING FORCE.  Your neighbors are all dicks anyway.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

What did I tell you guys?

"Dudes, trust me, it's worth paying a little extra for the upgraded body."

That's what I said. But none of you listened, you all wanted to skimp a little so you could spend the extra on having interesting personalities and look where THAT'S gotten you.

Also, I know one of you bastards stole my perfectly good shoulder while I was sleeping and replaced it with this barely-held-together piece of junk. I don't appreciate it and I hope you enjoy being blamed by everyone else for the fact that I will no longer be giving out these fine government-subsidized replacement buttholes.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am in the middle of experiencing my first kidney stone,

I myself am in the process of expelling my horribly intelligent syphilis worms.  Fucking things are the size of your little finger, and chew holes in your DNA.  I'm down to 18 sets of chromosomes, for fuck's sake.

I knew I'd get a cackle if I posted here. You guises are good for fixin' what ails ya.

Own that shit, Suu.  Expel those stones with KILLING FORCE.  Your neighbors are all dicks anyway.

[Suu]

I am in the middle of experiencing my first kidney stone,

I myself am in the process of expelling my horribly intelligent syphilis worms.  Fucking things are the size of your little finger, and chew holes in your DNA.  I'm down to 18 sets of chromosomes, for fuck's sake.

I knew I'd get a cackle if I posted here. You guises are good for fixin' what ails ya.

Own that shit, Suu.  Expel those stones with KILLING FORCE.  Your neighbors are all dicks anyway.

I will post a full report once Barney Rubble decides to take a left turn at the bladder and find his fucking way out.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

[TMI]I finally conceded the battle to my breasts. They have grown, I have no say in this matter. Two of my new bras came in the mail today. It is AMAZING how much more comfortable a correctly-fitted bra is. [/TMI]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

[TMI]I finally conceded the battle to my breasts. They have grown, I have no say in this matter. Two of my new bras came in the mail today. It is AMAZING how much more comfortable a correctly-fitted bra is. [/TMI]

See, with guys, it's the other way around.

TGRR,
Wearing 28" briefs, "the boys" smashed up into my abdominal cavity, feeling goooooooood.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

[TMI]I finally conceded the battle to my breasts. They have grown, I have no say in this matter. Two of my new bras came in the mail today. It is AMAZING how much more comfortable a correctly-fitted bra is. [/TMI]

See, with guys, it's the other way around.

TGRR,
Wearing 28" briefs, "the boys" smashed up into my abdominal cavity, feeling goooooooood.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It occurs to me, of course, that this is probably the beginning of the sad decline. See, the whole sad empty wallet thing? That's more of a skinny old white lady thing. That's what I've been expecting, in a sense, because my mom is a skinny old white lady.

But then, I realized. That not being white thing... oh shit. There are a couple ways this can go. One of the ways is the black way, with enormous pendulous grandma boobs that hang to my waist, and a big ass. The other way... oh lord help me... the other way is the indian lady way. You've seen them, Mexican women age the same way as long as they have enough native in them. The best way to describe it is a potato on toothpicks, with fabulous cleavage. Mass from the legs and ass, essentially, migrate upwards  until you have a perfect sphere balanced precariously atop skinny little legs.

Yeah, getting old is going to be a BLAST.  I never thought I would find myself hoping the genetic lottery would give me a skinny old white lady body.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It occurs to me, of course, that this is probably the beginning of the sad decline. See, the whole sad empty wallet thing? That's more of a skinny old white lady thing. That's what I've been expecting, in a sense, because my mom is a skinny old white lady.

But then, I realized. That not being white thing... oh shit. There are a couple ways this can go. One of the ways is the black way, with enormous pendulous grandma boobs that hang to my waist, and a big ass. The other way... oh lord help me... the other way is the indian lady way. You've seen them, Mexican women age the same way as long as they have enough native in them. The best way to describe it is a potato on toothpicks, with fabulous cleavage. Mass from the legs and ass, essentially, migrate upwards  until you have a perfect sphere balanced precariously atop skinny little legs.

Yeah, getting old is going to be a BLAST.  I never thought I would find myself hoping the genetic lottery would give me a skinny old white lady body.

I just plan on getting all saggy and pasty.

Then I'm gonna start wearing shorts.  All the time.

[Suu]

[TMI]I finally conceded the battle to my breasts. They have grown, I have no say in this matter. Two of my new bras came in the mail today. It is AMAZING how much more comfortable a correctly-fitted bra is. [/TMI]

A properly fitted bra is the SHIT.