MOTHERFUCKING CHEESE

[Pæs]

Well, one or the other, unless you're a level three user.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Well, one or the other, unless you're a level three user.

I know next to shit about computers.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Grilled cheese with cheddar on sour dough. All other sammiches are inferior.

THAT SHIT IS FROM THE GODS. IT DOESN'T EVEN NEED FUCKING BUTTER. JUST SOURDOUGH, A CAST IRON SKILLET AND EXTRA SHARP CHEDDAR, FUCKING A, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Cheese is ranked like this

1) Cheese: is cheese. There's all kinds, at all prices, so no excuse not to get CHEESE.

2) Cheese food: Might have cheese in it, but people on WIC can't get it with the vouchers because it has crap in it.

3) Cheese product: Is the shit they put on McDonald's. I don't know WTF it is, I'm not 100% sure it's cheese. Maybe  it's zit squeezins salted and tinted orange with floor sweepings from the Cheetos factory.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Cheese food product is like Natty Ice.

It's beer. Sort of. But sometimes you can't afford the schmancy, flavorful, import stuff, or, sometimes you just feel like drinking cheap ass piss. Or sometimes it's actually called for, like what within a grilled cheese [food product]. But at the end of the day, it's beer drink product that your average schmoe deems worthy to call "beer" with no qualifiers. And you know. Sometimes a grilled cheese made with whole grain and pepperjack is the shit.

Yep.

Pepperjack SLICES.

Pure cheese can come in slices.

Cheese food melts smooth, without lumps and stuff. Like Velveeta. It's crap, but it makes pretty dip and nacho sauce.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

you can eat what you want I'm going to but i draw the line at calling it cheese or eating it.

I fancy some gruyere. or emmental.

Neon glop is a glorious experience. Not one to indulge in regularly, mind you, for, well, every reason. But you should have neon glop at least once. Especially comfortable in the knowledge that it's not a common commodity over there.

Hey, does anyone remember if Trip had squeeze cheese when he was here? I seem to recall him being fascinated with the disturbing conundrum that it presents to the non-American.

Is neon glop made from that dayglo powder that comes in Kraft mac & "cheese"?

America put the Philly cheese steak on a PEDESTAL. They use Cheese Whiz for that shit. Or maybe SPRAY CHEESE.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

you can eat what you want I'm going to but i draw the line at calling it cheese or eating it.

I fancy some gruyere. or emmental.

Neon glop is a glorious experience. Not one to indulge in regularly, mind you, for, well, every reason. But you should have neon glop at least once. Especially comfortable in the knowledge that it's not a common commodity over there.

Hey, does anyone remember if Trip had squeeze cheese when he was here? I seem to recall him being fascinated with the disturbing conundrum that it presents to the non-American.

Is neon glop made from that dayglo powder that comes in Kraft mac & "cheese"?

America put the Philly cheese steak on a PEDESTAL. They use Cheese Whiz for that shit. Or maybe SPRAY CHEESE.

All of the above.

[Sita]

Velveta makes awesome mac-n-cheese.
Spam is wonderful
Easy Cheese is great on a Ritz (especially the bacon cheddar flavor)

Kraft Singles are absolute shit. Give me store brand sliced cheese any day.

I, of course, also like actual cheese. Colby Jack is my fave.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

AMERICA, YOUR SHIT AIN'T RIGHT.

a DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER IS ALWAYS BETTER WITH THIN SLICED REALLY REAL CHEDDAR (AND BROWN SAUCE) although a cheeseburger is the only place i will tolerate that kraft singles/ "cheese" slices stuff.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I actually prefer "plastic cheese" to real cheese, on a burger.

BUT THAT'S THE ONE AND ONLY TIME I'LL EAT THAT SHIT

[hooplala]

I actually prefer "plastic cheese" to real cheese, on a burger.

BUT THAT'S THE ONE AND ONLY TIME I'LL EAT THAT SHIT

Me too.  Also on grilled cheese.  I'm a fucking heathen.

Also, I enjoy Mama's Family. 

[P3nT4gR4m]

I actually prefer "plastic cheese" to real cheese, on a burger.

BUT THAT'S THE ONE AND ONLY TIME I'LL EAT THAT SHIT

Me too.  Also on grilled cheese.  I'm a fucking heathen.

Also, I enjoy Mama's Family.

That some kind of incest euphemism? 

[hooplala]

I actually prefer "plastic cheese" to real cheese, on a burger.

BUT THAT'S THE ONE AND ONLY TIME I'LL EAT THAT SHIT

Me too.  Also on grilled cheese.  I'm a fucking heathen.

Also, I enjoy Mama's Family.

That some kind of incest euphemism? 

Naw, just hanging all my dirty laundry out in one post.  I also enjoy the musical stylings of Tiny Tim.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

SUP, BITCHES? YOU WANT SOME CHEESE SLICES?

HERE'S SOME MOTHERFUCKING CHEESE SLICES!


THAT SHIT IS SLICED PROVOLONE, NERDS. IT HAS FLAVORS AND GOES GREAT WITH EVERYTHING. IT LOVES MEATS BEST OF ALL, SO GO MELT THAT SHIT ON SOME MEATBALLS AND MAKE THE MOST DELICIOUS SUB EVER. DON'T LIKE MEATBALLS? PUT IT IN SOME BREAD WITH SOME GODDAMN LUNCHMEATS AND GO TO TOWN. PUT IT IN A GRILLED CHEESE WITH BACON BECAUSE WHY AREN'T YOU MAKING YOUR GRILLED CHEESES WITH BACON?

YOU WANNA BE A FANCY BASTARD? BAM!


SLICED TITTYFUCKING SWISS CHEESE. IT'S EVEN SHAPED TO FIT YOUR BREAD WITHOUT MESSING AROUND, BECAUSE THE LORDS OF CHEESE LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH. I DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS CHEESE, BUT I KNOW IT'S A REAL CHEESE. PUT IT ON A BURGER OR SOME SHIT, I DON'T KNOW. THEY'RE ALWAYS PUTTING THIS WHOLEY HOLEY CHEESE ON THINGS THAT HAVE AVOCADOS, SO MAYBE THAT'S A THING. THE HOLES COME FROM BACTERIA FARTS, AND THAT'S FUCKING METAL.

NOT HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? TRY THIS SHIT:


SLICED PEPPERJACK CHEESE. THIS SALTY-SPICY-CREAMY MANNA FROM CHEESE HEAVEN IS THE BEST THING YOU PUT IN YOUR FACE SINCE YOU HAD A FACE. IT'S MADE FROM MONTEREY JACK CHEESE AND JALAPENOS, NO FUCKING AROUND WITH "ADDED DAIRY PRODUCTS" AND SHIT IN HERE, THIS IS REAL CHEESE, FULL OF REAL GODDAMN SPICY PEPPERS. PUT THAT IN A LITTLE TORTILLA AND MAKE YOURSELF A QUESADILLA STAT.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I just realised - QGP is the female version of Cramulus.



THESE PEOPLE MUST NEVER BREED TOGETHER 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I just realised - QGP is the female version of Cramulus.



THESE PEOPLE MUST NEVER BREED TOGETHER 

DOUR SAID I HAVE 12 HUSBANDS. I'M GONNA HAVE TO MAKE BABIES WITH EVERYONE ON THIS BOARD.