Author Topic: Mommy Shaming  (Read 50287 times)

Dildo Argentino

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1730
  • Whatever ain't what it used to be.
    • View Profile
    • futureupdate
Mommy Shaming
« on: November 13, 2013, 04:20:53 pm »
you are conflating Freedom with Wisdom. Children are generally Free as a default state.

Funny you say that, I was tempted to say you were conflating freedom with heroism/naivety. :)

In my pretty extensive experience of children (who are, indeed, paragons of freedom until the age of about 3-4), I found that while they are hard little bastards who stick up for themselves like there's no tomorrow, they know full well when to shut up and put up. And are largely not suicidal.

Your experiences have been wildly different from mine.

In what way?

The shutting up and not suicidal.

wow, but what age?
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6062
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2013, 06:06:14 pm »
My little man is 6 and he will literally WALK INTO TRAFFIC before giving up. On anything.

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6062
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2013, 06:37:58 pm »

Dildo Argentino

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1730
  • Whatever ain't what it used to be.
    • View Profile
    • futureupdate
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2013, 07:00:55 pm »
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6062
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2013, 08:02:51 pm »
I do not know how you would possibly go about encouraging someone to be that.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2013, 08:05:08 pm »
I do not know how you would possibly go about encouraging someone to be that.

It's genetic.  Barbarians like QG are naturally going to have children who will one day burn Rome down, plunging the world into a thousand years of night.  With a smile and a wink.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

  • Official SSOOKN Pariah
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 15300
  • I'm an artist now - isn't that depressing?
    • View Profile
    • fuck you
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2013, 08:08:45 pm »
If we're ever going to destroy civilisation, we're going to need kids like that.

Couple of dozen ought to do it!
I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and itís not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesnít matter." -- Max Tegmark

Dildo Argentino

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1730
  • Whatever ain't what it used to be.
    • View Profile
    • futureupdate
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2013, 09:31:12 pm »
I do not know how you would possibly go about encouraging someone to be that.

Are you entirely serious?
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2013, 10:19:52 pm »
I do not know how you would possibly go about encouraging someone to be that.

Are you entirely serious?

 :|

Do you do that intentionally?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Dildo Argentino

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1730
  • Whatever ain't what it used to be.
    • View Profile
    • futureupdate
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2013, 10:25:34 pm »
Depends what you mean. What did I do there?
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2013, 10:26:09 pm »
Depends what you mean. What did I do there?

Other than imply that she has no idea how to raise kids?

Nothing.  Nothing at all.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Dildo Argentino

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1730
  • Whatever ain't what it used to be.
    • View Profile
    • futureupdate
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2013, 10:42:12 pm »
Depends what you mean. What did I do there?

Other than imply that she has no idea how to raise kids?

Nothing.  Nothing at all.

I did no such thing, you perverted old person!
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6062
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2013, 11:31:11 pm »
Even if you didn't intend it holist, your line of questioning is hitting the mommy shaming buttons.

You can't make a kid become a force of nature, it's how they are. Some kids are sheer elemental awesomeness, some are really sensitive, and some, like The Little Man, are concentrated little balls of FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY. They're all born square pegs.

Dildo Argentino

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1730
  • Whatever ain't what it used to be.
    • View Profile
    • futureupdate
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2013, 06:12:58 am »
Even if you didn't intend it holist, your line of questioning is hitting the mommy shaming buttons.

You can't make a kid become a force of nature, it's how they are. Some kids are sheer elemental awesomeness, some are really sensitive, and some, like The Little Man, are concentrated little balls of FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY. They're all born square pegs.

They're not all born square pegs, is that what you meant? Or if not, then I'm not following you, can you explain?

Also: let me tell you straight up, I neglected my three oldest children. Nothing major, not 'letting them starve in an unheated hovel' type neglected, I would even say they had well above average childhoods even with that neglecting going on. But I did have to face up to the fact that my own neurosis occupied me to such an extent that I simply did not have the resources/willpower to give them the undivided attention, the 'unconditional positive regard', to use a catchphrase I rather like, they demanded and deserved. That is one of the hardest realisations that I have had to date (I'm 45): I fucked up, and there's no way I'm going to be a really great parent of my three oldest kids now, that boat is gone. What I can do is start being a decent human being and to put effort into maintaining awareness of the fact that my relationship with the boys, if basically positive and convivial, is a little thin, if you know what I mean. We do have those "well hey, I'm glad you're here, what is going on with you these days" conversations, always had them, but they are few and far between.

That said, I am finding it generally very difficult to square your description of the Little Man with what I know about basic decency towards kids and its effects. I'm in no way interested in shaming anyone who is aware that they are doing less than perfectly with their kids and struggle to improve. Self-righteous, opinionated child-abusers, yes. I don't mind shaming them.

So with all that in mind, and let me say again that I have very little information, but the short piece on the the Little Man is evocative, it does express an attitude towards a child, and a perception of a child. I imagine it is somewhat exaggerated, for comic effect (he sounds like Calvin a bit), but if I take it at face value, it appears to be the portrait of the parentless, homeless street child. Constantly alert, self-centered, with the entrenched attitude of seeing the world as an enemy and a nuisance, a medium that hinders his ambitions and is out to get him, but he defiantly keeps on keeping on because.... and this I only imagine, the other way (vulnerability way, admitting feelings of inadequacy and confusion way) lies unbearable insecurity and/or humiliation and/or pain. Neglect, hardship and plenty of varied and pretty much constant threats can make a child be that way.

I have 6 children in the house, many of my friends have large families, I have taught in a person-centered school and I am deeply interested in the subject - I have never met a child who was like the one you describe without any reason, purely out of innate character.

I may be about to learn something, though. I do not in any way mean to shame of look down on you, but I am confused about this situation. I will be grateful if you can respond to clarify.
Not too keen on rigor, myself - reminds me of mortis

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 6062
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: Mommy Shaming
« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2013, 01:40:24 pm »
Can I get a thread split on the bad mommy?