My computer is better than you....

[Nikoli Volkoff]

My computer is better than you all....

10. It doesnt talk back and make stupid assinine comments completely      Irrellovent to the current thread/conversation/situation at hand.

9. When I introduce a new "element" (IE piece of hardware/software/person/animal/feeling) to my computer it accepts it, if at first it doesnt accept the new element I can usually bludgeon it into accepting what ever i am currently trying to introduce.

8. If bludgeoning doesnt work, i can usually throw money into my computer to get it back where I want it to be.

7. My computer has a nice low humming noise that covers up the constant ringing in my ears from to many years of listening to people yelling and screaming about whats right/wrong/good/evil/Republican/Democrat/Liberal/Conservative/Gays/Breeders/Kink/depraved/inhumane/and any other topic of conversation where one person will not tolerate another persons views, beliefs, ideas what ever. That and a few to many "Rock Concerts"

6. I can listen to what ever music I want on my computer, it cant tell me that this music is to loud,old,shitty,trendy,underground,satanic

5. I can turn my computer off and ignore it for days on end and when i come back to it, I find that it is exactly how i left it and it still does what I want it to do.

4. I can drink as much beer, smoke as much weed, and look at as much porn as i want on my computer and it doesnt care or judge me, and if it does?

3. I can wipe its memory clean, and start over from scratch in less than 24 hours.

2. It keeps me sane, and when im feeling angry i can use it to kill idiots all over the world in any number of online games.

1. When my computer really pisses me off i can take it out into the woods, and put about 300 rounds of various differant types of ammunition both small and Large into it and there isnt a Bob damned thing that you or anyone else can do about it.

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

1. When my computer really pisses me off i can take it out into the woods, and put about 300 rounds of various differant types of ammunition both small and Large into it and there isnt a Bob damned thing that you or anyone else can do about it.

Done this one.

The fine was pretty hefty.

I only got caught once.


If I take into account how many times this has been done... then not so bad.

[Nikoli Volkoff]

As long as you are in an area where they dont mind ya target shooting and ya clean up your mess when your done not a thing wrong with it out here...

then a again a few friends and I shot up abunch of old modems, hardrives video cars, etc, and put them back in the original boxes and sent them back to the respective companys saying that their products did not meet our stress test requirments.

[Hoshiko]

Sure, ok, but can your computer laugh at your jokes and make you lasagna? Can your computer make you tea when you're sick and give you backrubs?


Mine can.

[Nikoli Volkoff]

nope, but i can order it from my computer so it might as well...

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

As long as you are in an area where they dont mind ya target shooting and ya clean up your mess when your done not a thing wrong with it out here...

then a again a few friends and I shot up abunch of old modems, hardrives video cars, etc, and put them back in the original boxes and sent them back to the respective companys saying that their products did not meet our stress test requirments.

thats what we thought as well so we went to the local shoot at cans spot and cleaned up after the bastards that were there before us... and then started blasting away.

And trust me there is not much you can say about this situation that I don't already know, I was the one with a lawyer and went to court about it.

So I got screwed ( well not so much because like I said busted once but it was done many more times before and after... and the team split the actual costs)

[Nikoli Volkoff]

what teh hell did they charge you with? since when is it illeagal to shoot your own property?

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

what teh hell did they charge you with? since when is it illeagal to shoot your own property?

well lets see here... you know the hard drives and stuff ?!?!

the sheriff and the judge agreed that a bullet could have bounced on one of those and that meant we were being reckless.

it's the same reason that you shouldn't shoot straight up into the air.

bullshit but thats what they said.


( this is the short explanation the longer version is on transcripts)

[East Coast Hustle]

and that's why civilized folk don't live in wenatchee...

we wanna shoot stuff, we just go to Ever-rot or (not very)White Center...that way it's hard for the local constabulary to single any one shooter out...

[Sepia]

24hrs?


yer slow...

8)

[Bella]

Sure, ok, but can your computer laugh at your jokes and make you lasagna? Can your computer make you tea when you're sick and give you backrubs?


Mine can.

My computer is perfectly capable of making me tea and giving me backrubs.
But it refuses to do so until it gets a raise.

That said, I'd say it's obvious that Nikoli's computer is superior to me in every way imaginable, except for reason #3.
My memory is wiped clean at least every 24 hours.

[LMNO]

My memory is wiped clean at least every 24 hours.

Must be all the tequila...

[Horab Fibslager]

my computer will kill the world!

[East Coast Hustle]

my breath will kill the world!

well, no surprises there...I warned you about those kippered herring snacks...

[Horab Fibslager]

lol.

you're just jealous that my penis is larger than yours.