Author Topic: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.  (Read 9713 times)

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33155
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« on: May 18, 2015, 03:41:30 am »
I'm actually a little LATE getting this started, come to think of it.

Jeb Bush slathered himself in the family glory some more, by which I mean nobody knows what the fuck he's saying:

Quote from: Jeb
If we want to create a right-to-rise society, where people, particularly children born in poverty, if we want to have them have a chance we should bea core American value, we have to restore committed, loving family life with a mom and a dad loving their children with their heart and soul.

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 77637
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2015, 04:40:09 am »
I'm actually a little LATE getting this started, come to think of it.

Jeb Bush slathered himself in the family glory some more, by which I mean nobody knows what the fuck he's saying:

Quote from: Jeb
If we want to create a right-to-rise society, where people, particularly children born in poverty, if we want to have them have a chance we should bea core American value, we have to restore committed, loving family life with a mom and a dad loving their children with their heart and soul.

That whole family is amazing.

Whatever the fuck it is he's saying here, I know that he's not talking about any kind of policies that might help poor people have the financial security to spend more time with their kids. Probably the exact opposite.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Dubya

  • n00b
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 171
  • Hideously Oiled Bonobo of Sexual Acceleration
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2015, 05:02:00 am »
I'm actually a little LATE getting this started, come to think of it.

Jeb Bush slathered himself in the family glory some more, by which I mean nobody knows what the fuck he's saying:

Quote from: Jeb
If we want to create a right-to-rise society, where people, particularly children born in poverty, if we want to have them have a chance we should bea core American value, we have to restore committed, loving family life with a mom and a dad loving their children with their heart and soul.

That whole family is amazing.

Whatever the fuck it is he's saying here, I know that he's not talking about any kind of policies that might help poor people have the financial security to spend more time with their kids. Probably the exact opposite.

Quote from: Jeb
If we want to create a meritocracy, we have to restore the nuclear family.

De-fnorded, it makes total sense, right? Because obviously economic opportunity arises directly from stable home life.

Gods, I hope we're not dumb enough to elect him.
"Gold Medalist of the 2015 David Cameron Memorial Barnyard Olympics."

Demolition Squid

  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 609
  • Bank?! OH SHIIIIIIIIT!
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2015, 12:31:03 pm »
I haven't really been following the American election - I've been depressed enough with my own - but you guys are in the same situation as us, right? No good choices at all?
Vast and Roaring Nipplebeast from the Dawn of Soho

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5902
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2015, 03:05:07 pm »
The Democrats have Hillary Clinton (a relatively conservative, pro-rich people, pro-foreign-intervention former senator and secretary of state) and Bernie Sanders (a self-declared socialist and old man). The Republicans have 8 million candidates, all of whom are varying degrees of insane.

MMIX

  • Prince of Whales Blowhole
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1548
  • FUNEX? S, VFX. FUNEM? S, VFM
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2015, 03:33:18 pm »
The Democrats have Hillary Clinton (a relatively conservative, pro-rich people, pro-foreign-intervention former senator and secretary of state) and Bernie Sanders (a self-declared socialist and old man). The Republicans have 8 million candidates, all of whom are varying degrees of insane.

Shit and derision! Apparently we have become the 51st state, just nobody was impolite enough to tell us yet
How do you know you are a Discordian?
It is written on my medical records

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5902
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2015, 03:35:12 pm »
The Democrats have Hillary Clinton (a relatively conservative, pro-rich people, pro-foreign-intervention former senator and secretary of state) and Bernie Sanders (a self-declared socialist and old man). The Republicans have 8 million candidates, all of whom are varying degrees of insane.

Shit and derision! Apparently we have become the 51st state, just nobody was impolite enough to tell us yet

Everyone's the 51st state!

Dubya

  • n00b
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 171
  • Hideously Oiled Bonobo of Sexual Acceleration
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2015, 03:49:03 pm »
What Id like to see would be a race between Hillary and Colin Powell. I think he's getting a little too old to want to do all that, though.
"Gold Medalist of the 2015 David Cameron Memorial Barnyard Olympics."

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33155
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2015, 09:07:09 pm »
What Id like to see would be a race between Hillary and Colin Powell. I think he's getting a little too old to want to do all that, though.

It's going to be Hillary vs Jeb Bush.  Hillary wins.

The only really sport in betting on this one is for VP picks.  If Hillary is smart, she'll retain Biden.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33155
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2015, 09:08:13 pm »
I'm actually a little LATE getting this started, come to think of it.

Jeb Bush slathered himself in the family glory some more, by which I mean nobody knows what the fuck he's saying:

Quote from: Jeb
If we want to create a right-to-rise society, where people, particularly children born in poverty, if we want to have them have a chance we should bea core American value, we have to restore committed, loving family life with a mom and a dad loving their children with their heart and soul.

That whole family is amazing.

Whatever the fuck it is he's saying here, I know that he's not talking about any kind of policies that might help poor people have the financial security to spend more time with their kids. Probably the exact opposite.

Quote from: Jeb
If we want to create a meritocracy, we have to restore the nuclear family.

De-fnorded, it makes total sense, right? Because obviously economic opportunity arises directly from stable home life.

Gods, I hope we're not dumb enough to elect him.

No de-fnorded enough.

He's saying that everyone is pre-rich, and would be rich except for that Gay marriage thing.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 62689
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2015, 09:14:38 pm »
Hillary - Palin 2016.

Just for the sheer rage and sexism that would result.

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33155
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2015, 09:15:59 pm »
Hillary - Palin 2016.

Just for the sheer rage and sexism that would result.

Hillary - DeGeneres, for maximum butthurt.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33155
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 77637
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2015, 12:17:52 am »
I wonder if he thinks people should be able to refuse service to Christians, based on deeply-held beliefs?

AHAHAHAHAHA yeah never mind of course he doesn't. That would be some kind of liberal war on Jesus.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 33155
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: UNLIMITED 2016 Starting Early With Batshittery Thread.
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2015, 12:24:06 am »
I wonder if he thinks people should be able to refuse service to Christians, based on deeply-held beliefs?

AHAHAHAHAHA yeah never mind of course he doesn't. That would be some kind of liberal war on Jesus.

Today, some giddy republican in West Virginia stated that rape is a "beautiful thing", so long as a baby results from the rape.

It's almost like someone's poisoning the beer at the RNC meetings.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.