General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

[LMNO]

Our buddy Devin Nunes is back on the case

https://www.politico.com/story/2017/12/20/house-republicans-quietly-investigate-doj-fbi-310121

A group of House Republicans has gathered secretly for weeks in the Capitol in an effort to build a case that senior leaders of the Justice Department and FBI improperly — and perhaps criminally — mishandled the contents of a dossier that describes alleged ties between President Donald Trump and Russia, according to four people familiar with their plans.

A subset of the Republican members of the House intelligence committee, led by Chairman Devin Nunes of California, has been quietly working parallel to the committee's high-profile inquiry into Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election. They haven't informed Democrats about their plans, but they have consulted with the House's general counsel.

The people familiar with Nunes' plans said the goal is to highlight what some committee Republicans see as corruption and conspiracy in the upper ranks of federal law enforcement. The group hopes to release a report early next year detailing their concerns about the DOJ and FBI, and they might seek congressional votes to declassify elements of their evidence.

That final product could ultimately be used by Republicans to discredit special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into whether any Trump aides colluded with Russia during the 2016 campaign — or possibly even to justify his dismissal, as some rank-and-file Republicans and Trump allies have demanded. (The president has said he is not currently considering firing Mueller.)

I'm not sure what the point of that is.  The donor class got their tax cut so the re-election coffers will be open to the GOP, gerrymandering will still be in place by 2018, and evidence points towards a negative association with anyone Trump endorses.

So why not kick the Orange-Faced Shitgibbon to the curb, and then have President Pence or Ryan as the "nicer" face of plutocracy?

[Cain]

A few reasons spring to mind:

1) if he's given them that, what else is he willing to give them?  The tax bill was shoddily bad, not just from an economic POV but a political one too.  Handwriten notes in the margins, specific exemptions to bribe senators into voting for it, no costing, no checking, no real debate...this signals to the Republican congress that they could take a shit on a piece of paper and it would probably get passed if there was enough graft to bring the votes in.

2) They own him.  If it turns out he did collude with Russia, which the evidence increasingly points to, it will destroy the (already waning) centre-right support for the Republicans for a generation.  They nominated and worked with a man who worked with Russia to win the election?  Anyone with a functioning brain will call them enablers of treason and spit on them as they pass in the streets.  They'll be a rump party appealing to hypocritical evangelicals, white nationalists and ancaps waving Kekistan flags while making jokes about helicoptor rides.  Unless they can muddy the waters and portray this as a witch hunt...

3) Going after the FBI and DoJ enables a significant amount of political lawlessness.  If the FBI is is bought to heel, someone reliable will be brought in to restructure the agency and likely have the final say over the top positions in other departments.  Someone like, say, Rudy Giuliani?  And then you can really steal.  Properly legitimised corruption without the possibility of law enforcement investigation, and perhaps even opening the door to using those tools of state to win elections and intimidate political rivals.

4) They actually agree with Trump.  Politically, I mean.  There's always been a seedy element of existential warfare and European far-right thought among certain elements of the GOP, and those elements are now firmly in control.  They view politics as warfare for survival, and in Trump they see someone who is willing to go to the lengths they deem necessary to "win".  One Congressman, a supporter of Bannon, once told a Congressional staffer years ago that he'd be happy living under a system like Franco's in Spain.  I suspect many more agree with him but just didn't say it out loud.  Or they agree with Putin's way of going about things, which to be honest isn't that much different.  They consider Russia an ally against decadent western cosmopolitan liberalism, and so any collusion is de facto justified because Hillary and Obama are worse.

[LMNO]

I regret asking the question.



Where's the bourbon?

[Emo Howard]

Fox News is reporting that AT&T is giving out $1000 bonuses to employees all thanks to Trumps new tax bill. Trump himself, naturally had to personally take credit for this, as well.

http://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/2017/12/20/at-t-to-give-employees-1000-bonuses-after-trump-signs-tax-bill.html

So I guess all the Trumpfans should be expecting their Trump Bonuses in the near future. They should all definitely be asking their bosses about it regularly to make sure they don't forget, or anything.

[Tiddleywomp Cockletit]

I hope they strangle on it.

Maybe it could happen. Maybe the hookers they hire kick ball gags down their throats.

A girl can dream, can't she?

[Cain]

Fox News is reporting that AT&T is giving out $1000 bonuses to employees all thanks to Trumps new tax bill. Trump himself, naturally had to personally take credit for this, as well.

http://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/2017/12/20/at-t-to-give-employees-1000-bonuses-after-trump-signs-tax-bill.html

So I guess all the Trumpfans should be expecting their Trump Bonuses in the near future. They should all definitely be asking their bosses about it regularly to make sure they don't forget, or anything.

Didn't AT&T just lay off a bunch of people too?

[Emo Howard]

Fox News is reporting that AT&T is giving out $1000 bonuses to employees all thanks to Trumps new tax bill. Trump himself, naturally had to personally take credit for this, as well.

http://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/2017/12/20/at-t-to-give-employees-1000-bonuses-after-trump-signs-tax-bill.html

So I guess all the Trumpfans should be expecting their Trump Bonuses in the near future. They should all definitely be asking their bosses about it regularly to make sure they don't forget, or anything.

Didn't AT&T just lay off a bunch of people too?

Yeah, and their "Trump Bonuses" had already been approved through negotiations with the union. That didn't stop AT&T, Trump, and Fox News from giving all the credit to Trump and the new tax bill. I'd just like to see Trumpfan expectations be as high as possible for some trickle down action. I know they have a remarkable talent for self-delusion, and will probably "see" some incredible windfall due to their herculean Trumpian efforts no matter what happens but at least the higher their expectations, the more entertaining their mental acrobatics will be.

Also, AT&T needs the Trump administration to approve their merger with Time-Warner, which is presumably their motive in all this rectal smoke-blowing with the idiot.

[Tiddleywomp Cockletit]

Fox News is reporting that AT&T is giving out $1000 bonuses to employees all thanks to Trumps new tax bill. Trump himself, naturally had to personally take credit for this, as well.

http://www.foxbusiness.com/markets/2017/12/20/at-t-to-give-employees-1000-bonuses-after-trump-signs-tax-bill.html

So I guess all the Trumpfans should be expecting their Trump Bonuses in the near future. They should all definitely be asking their bosses about it regularly to make sure they don't forget, or anything.

Didn't AT&T just lay off a bunch of people too?

Yeah, and their "Trump Bonuses" had already been approved through negotiations with the union. That didn't stop AT&T, Trump, and Fox News from giving all the credit to Trump and the new tax bill. I'd just like to see Trumpfan expectations be as high as possible for some trickle down action. I know they have a remarkable talent for self-delusion, and will probably "see" some incredible windfall due to their herculean Trumpian efforts no matter what happens but at least the higher their expectations, the more entertaining their mental acrobatics will be.

Also, AT&T needs the Trump administration to approve their merger with Time-Warner, which is presumably their motive in all this rectal smoke-blowing with the idiot.

I didn't know that, but I'm not surprised.
He can add it to his list of "accomplishments" that other people actually did, or that never even happened.

[Cain]

Ah, that is just classic Trump isn't it.  Now I'm just waiting for something to be Obama's fault and for him to issue an illegal order and it will be perfect.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Ah, that is just classic Trump isn't it.  Now I'm just waiting for something to be Obama's fault and for him to issue an illegal order and it will be perfect.

He also needs to say something about Hillary as if the election were still going on

[Doktor Howl]

Ah, that is just classic Trump isn't it.  Now I'm just waiting for something to be Obama's fault and for him to issue an illegal order and it will be perfect.

He also needs to say something about Hillary as if the election were still going on

Also, something about an electoral landslide.

[Bu☆ns]

This Twitter thread discusses the idea about Putin's motives should Hillary have won the election. One point was that Putin is sitting on more hacked emails that would have otherwise been released in 2017. It makes me wonder if so many resignations in congress are preemptive flounces due to congress knowing they've been compromised.  More new faces in 2018 means fewer compromised politicians. 

Maybe not so much as a strategic move but a beneficial side effect? idk

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Now if we could just clear out the world of big business

[Cain]

You guys have to read this.  It's amazing. 

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/01/michael-wolff-fire-and-fury-book-donald-trump.html?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=s3&utm_campaign=sharebutton-t

Some choice quotes:

"It was Ann Coulter who finally took the president-elect aside. “Nobody is apparently telling you this,” she told him. “But you can’t. You just can’t hire your children.”

Bannon said he’d tried to push John Bolton, the famously hawkish diplomat, for the job as national-security adviser. Bolton was an Ailes favorite, too.

“He’s a bomb thrower,” said Ailes. “And a strange little fucker. But you need him. Who else is good on Israel? Flynn is a little nutty on Iran. Tillerson just knows oil.”

“Bolton’s mustache is a problem,” snorted Bannon. “Trump doesn’t think he looks the part. You know Bolton is an acquired taste.”

“Well, he got in trouble because he got in a fight in a hotel one night and chased some woman.”

“If I told Trump that,” Bannon said slyly, “he might have the job.”

"“I’ll call [Murdoch],” said Ailes. “But Trump would jump through hoops for Rupert. Like for Putin. Sucks up and shits down. I just worry about who’s jerking whose chain.”

“I can marry you! I’m an internet Unitarian minister,” Kushner, otherwise an Orthodox Jew, said suddenly."

Then [Trump] imposed a set of new rules: Nobody touch anything, especially not his toothbrush. (He had a longtime fear of being poisoned, one reason why he liked to eat at McDonald’s — nobody knew he was coming and the food was safely premade.)

[Cain]

It gets even better.

Now, the White House is saying Bannon violated a NDA and is threatening to send the lawyers in.  Meanwhile, the London Times has alleged that Tony Blair indicated to Trump that he was under surveillance by British intelligence, while angling for a job in the Middle East.