LMNO-PI

[eriswarrior]

Oh, so as far as that new job thingy:

Anyone know what the best job for a hack writer/amature comparative religion theorist/musician/drunk who's addicted to online forums?

Security guard, bring your laptop.  Fun way to get into the Sekrit places to prank too...

[LMNO]

Oh, so as far as that new job thingy:

Anyone know what the best job for a hack writer/amature comparative religion theorist/musician/drunk who's addicted to online forums?

Security guard, bring your laptop.  Fun way to get into the Sekrit places to prank too...

Hmm... I'd probably fail both the background check, and the drug test.

Not to mention, Security Guard would be the job I perform as I dabble in the things I'm interested in.  I'd much prefer to get paid to actually do something I like.

Idealistic, I know...

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Become a journalist. Its easy.

[Bella]

Did I ever mention that I love this thread? And I love the thing you wrote about the psychics, too, Eldora.

[LMNO]

I nursed the car down the street, listening for both the sound of a potential engine failure, and the whup-whup-whup of approaching heliplanes.  Luckily, neither seemed to be present, so I forced myself to relax, and took a left on Rove Avenue.

Erin noticed.  ,ÄúHey, the highway is back there,,Äù she said, pointing behind us.

,ÄúI know, but like I said, this car is thrashed.  We,Äôd never make even the most cursory of inspections at the checkpoints.,Äù

,ÄúYou realize, of course, that you,Äôre buying me a new car, right?,Äù

,ÄúShould have read the fine print, honey.  This counts as ,Äòexpenses,Äô.,Äù

,ÄúWhat?,Äù

,ÄúJust kidding.  Take it out of my pay.,Äù

,ÄúThere,Äôs no way your fees will even beging to match what this car cost.,Äù

,ÄúFine, don,Äôt pay me anything then.  At this point, I,Äôm just happy I,Äôm not in jail yet.  And if ditching your car will keep it that way, that,Äôs what I,Äôm going to do.,Äù  I pulled the car into the mostly empty parking lot of a nondescript pizza joint, and killed the engine.

Erin sighed.  ,ÄúWhat are we doing here, now?

,ÄúWhat, you don,Äôt like pizza?,Äù I chuckled. ,ÄúNo, actually, we,Äôre here to get somethi,ÄîFUCK!,Äù  I flinched when a flaming golf ball slammed into the windshield, cracking it, and leaving a fiery trail as it rolled off the hood.  I opened the door, and noticed a figure on the roof with a golf club, a bucket, and a lighter.

,ÄúStain!  What the hell are you doing?,Äù I yelled at the figure.

He didn,Äôt respond, he just lit up another ball & whacked it out over the parking lot, the flames arcing gorgeously in the morning light.

I motioned to Erin to get out of the car, but she stayed in her seat, shaking her head.  I could see her mouthing the words ,Äúhe's fucking crazy,Äù through the cracked glass.  I turned back to the figure on the roof.

,ÄúSTAIN!  Dammit, you,Äôre scaring my client!,Äù

He waved.  A deep voice shouted, ,ÄúI,Äôll be right down!,Äù and the figure disappeared.  Erin slowly got out of the car.  

,ÄúWhy is it the people you know are all certifiably insane?,Äù

,ÄúMust be my charming good looks.,Äù

,ÄúDon,Äôt change the subject.,Äù

,ÄúLook, the way I see it, you can,Äôt really choose your friends.  They just sort of happen to you.  In my line of work, I meet all types, and these are the ones that stuck around.,Äù

,ÄùYeah, like gum on your shoe.  Crazy gum.,Äù

,ÄúHey, I know you now, so you might be considered a friend, as well.,Äù

,ÄúI don,Äôt know about that,Ķ,Äù

,ÄúWhat about last night?,Äù

Erin blushed.  ,ÄúWell, yeah, ok.,Äù

Just then, the door to the front of the pizza place opened up, and an arm waved us inside.  We complied.  A blast of cold air greeted us, as well as a large, hulking man, light brown hair cut short to his head, with burn marks up and down his forearms, and a wide grin on his face.

,ÄúL,,Äù he said, ,Äúlong time no see.  What brings you here?,Äù

,ÄúI need some firepower, and some scuba gear.,Äù

,ÄúWhat for?  I thought the tarot card was the Tower.,Äù  

Erin gasped.  ,ÄúHow the hell--,Äù

He laughed.  ,ÄúThe NSRA is everywhere, honey.,Äù

Erin turned to me.  ,ÄúThe NSRA?  I thought you said,Ķ,Äù

,ÄúWell, yeah, but that was before we took out those Cop tanks.  Ah, introductions.  Reverend Stain, this is Erin.  Erin, Reverend Stain, of the New Soviet Red Army.,Äù

Stain clapped me on the shoulder.  ,ÄúCop tanks?  Good job!  I was wondering how that piece of crap out in the lot got that way.,Äù

,ÄúOh, yeah,,Äù I said, ,ÄúWe,Äôre gonna need a new car, too.,Äù

,ÄúWell, you came to the right place.  Sit down, have a slice, I,Äôll be right back.,Äù  Stain ducked behind the counter, and re-appeared with two slices of cold pizza on a plate.  ,ÄúMake yourselves comfortable.,Äù

We sat down in a booth away from the window, and bit down on our improvised breakfast.

,ÄúHoly shit,,Äù said Erin, ,ÄúThis pizza is fucking amazing.,Äù

[East Coast Hustle]

YEEEEEE-HAW!!!!!!

[LMNO]

Just doin' my part to keep everyone happy...


LMNO
-writes sycophantic fiction, so you don't have to.

[agent compassion]

The flaming golf balls were a nice touch.  

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Hmm... I want to try that now..

Way to inspire me to do irresponsible things LMNO! I'll have to bring my camrea too.....

[LMNO]

The flaming golf balls were a nice touch.  

I recall when FuckAss was still Turd, he mentioned something about golf balls and napalm.

I just wish he hadn't had to make his presence known in the morning.  It would have been a better scene at night.  Ah well.  I must stay true to where the story leads...

[agent compassion]

What if it's really early in the morning when the light's still dim?

[LMNO]

Heh.  That's the power of imagination!

[Wonder Showzen]
Imagination,
Imagination.

Imaginaaaaation,
Imaginaaaaaaation....
[/Wonder Showzen]

[East Coast Hustle]

in a bizzarre display of synchronicity, I was planning on having flaming golf balls part 2 tonight when the town does their incredibly belated 4th of July fireworks display.

it gets better.

they set off the fireworks from a barge anchored about 200 yards offshore.

I can hit a 200 yard drive.

[LMNO's Shadow]

I'll be looking in the papers tomorrow, fucko!


Don't let me down!

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Another chapter, YEAH!!!

ps ready for the doc's yet : wink :