Media.........Interesting News! Interesting Letters!

[East Coast Hustle]

they have one of those?

oh, wow....


oh, wow, man....

[St. Pynchon]

Evil Masons Steal from Little Dead Girl

Fuckin Masons

[agent compassion]

I just had to share this for those who aren't also readers of Sam Smith's Progressive Review (www.prorev.com):

READER MICHAEL POBER says he got this from a 'Tex-czech friend and student:' "The Republican National Committee announced today that the Republican Party is changing its emblem from an elephant to a condom. The committee chairman explained that the condom more clearly reflects the party's stance today, because a condom accepts inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually getting screwed."

[saint aini]

From Yahoo...
"The Democratic National Committee, after reviewing their icon, a donkey, decided to keep the symbol because they are jackasses."

[LMNO]

While the Condom bit was only a little funny, the Donkey bit was completely devoid of humor, wit, and sass.


So says me.

[agent compassion]

While the Condom bit was only a little funny, the Donkey bit was completely devoid of humor, wit, and sass.

It broke the fundamental rule: Only X can make fun of X. I'm a Democrat. *I* can make fun of Democrats. Fairies cannot.


And now....the definition of "bipartisanship" -

I'll hug your elephant, if you'll kiss my ass.  

[LMNO]

I don't like that rule, cuz what if I'm X, & I come up with something really funny for Y?  I'd have to go find a Y, tell them the joke, & they'd steal it for themselves.  Fuckin Y's guys.

[Wishfarple]

I don't like that rule, cuz what if I'm X, & I come up with something really funny for Y?  I'd have to go find a Y, tell them the joke, & they'd steal it for themselves.  Fuckin Y's guys.

Good morning, sir, I'm with the census.  Are you married or happy?  Nyuck nyuck.

[Bella]

This is a for real want ad I read the other day:

Emotional Cripple Seeks Good Looking Crutch - 31
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed Oct 20 13:33:07 2004

Recently released emotional cripple is seeking good looking crutch for long term, damaging relationship based on unrealistic expectations. I'm a 31, manic depressive with anxiety disorder and fear of intimacy. Employed, blue eyes, dark hair, weeps at imagined slights. You be 29-35, good looking, able to deflect jealous accusations with ease, and passive aggressive. Together we can embark upon a journey of discovery and projection while reenacting childhood traumas involving rejection from our parents! With my commitment issues and hysterical paranoia and your unchecked anger management problems, we're an unstoppable team of crushing instability!

[~~~~Closed~~~~]

mmmmmm...I smell generic, cookie cutter depression story.


in other news, there was an ad in the local news paper that read "used kittens for sale".

[Bella]

"used kittens" - sheer genius.

Here's another want ad I just read.........I think I've found a gold mine:

Dear Rapist: Missed Connection with your Wallet - w4m
Date: Mon Oct 04 16:09:09 2004

"Dear Tom B,

I found your wallet.

Saturday night at Lush you came on to me. I turned you down politely but you had to get a little nasty and huff off. That wasn,Äôt enough for you though, because then you took it a step further and sexually and verbally assaulted me by the bathrooms 20 minutes later. In your haste to depart after I started to yell, you dropped your wallet out of your coat pocket. Bummer.

I,Äôm so sorry to report that your wallet inadvertently landed in the bay, somewhere along the Bay Bridge, I think. Oh yeah, and I,Äôm afraid that condom that expired in 1999, your credit cards, ATM, and social security card (you really shouldn,Äôt carry that around, you know) accidentally fell onto the street somewhere on Polk Street. Oops. (What else do you expect from a "stupid bitch" like me who has the audacity to reject you?)

Since your wallet is now in the bay, I didn,Äôt know where to send the money. I tried the phone book under "Funny-looking-Rapist-With-Foul-Breath",Äù and ,ÄúShort-Dude-With-Chip-On-Shoulder,Äù and even "Slightly-Retarded-Looking-Guy-With-Bad-Toupee,Äù but, alas, there were no listings.

Since you spent part of the night telling me stories that emphasized how sensitive and caring you are, I figured you,Äôd be happy to know that I donated the rather large sum of cash to a rape crisis center.

Hopefully the next rape you are involved in will be your own. In prison.

Sincerely,
~ The "Stupid Bitch" who rejected you. "

[gnimbley]

Somebody covers Roger's ears!

Inauguration to break from tradition

(from the Associated Press via MSNBS)

The inaugural ceremony will include performances by the U.S. Naval Academy Glee Club, the U.S. Marine Band and mezzo sopranos Denyce Graves and Susan Graham.

Guy Hovis, a vocalist from Tupelo, Miss., who performed on the Lawrence Welk show, will sing, ,ÄúLet the Eagles Soar,,Äù a song written by Attorney General John Ashcroft.

Thomas Basile, a spokesman for the committee, said the song is a favorite of Lott,Äôs. When Ashcroft served as senator from Missouri, he and Lott were members of the singing senators,Äô quartet. The group also included Sens. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, and Jim Jeffords, I-Vt.

[LMNO]

I kid you not, and to prove it, I'm providing a link:

A Cabbage Patch Kid comes with a registration code, which is a random combination of letters and numbers.  

I bet Bertrand Russell never expected this... The combination randomly chosen contained the phrase "Fuck Me".

No joke.  Well, funny, yes.  Especially, since the Patch Kids are Cabbages.

http://www.wftv.com/news/4050844/detail.html

[gnimbley]

Pentagon considered "gay sex bomb."

Pentagon reveals rejected chemical weapons

15 January 2005  From New Scientist Print Edition.

THE Pentagon considered developing a host of non-lethal chemical weapons that would disrupt discipline and morale among enemy troops, newly declassified documents reveal.

Most bizarre among the plans was one for the development of an "aphrodisiac" chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale, the proposal says.

Other ideas included chemical weapons that attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats to troop positions, making them uninhabitable. Another was to develop a chemical that caused "severe and lasting halitosis", making it easy to identify guerrillas trying to blend in with civilians. There was also the idea of making troops' skin unbearably sensitive to sunlight.

The proposals, from the US Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, date from 1994. The lab sought Pentagon funding for research into what it called "harassing, annoying and 'bad guy'-identifying chemicals". The plans have been posted online by the Sunshine Project, an organisation that exposes research into chemical and biological weapons.

Spokesman Edward Hammond says it was not known if the proposed $7.5 million, six-year research plan was ever pursued.

From issue 2482 of New Scientist magazine, 15 January 2005, page 4

[gnimbley]

Immigration Minister Quits in Pizza Scandal

Fri Jan 14, 2:19 PM ET - Reuters

By David Ljunggren

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian Immigration Minister Judy Sgro, already embroiled in a scandal over favors given to a Romanian stripper, resigned on Friday after a pizza shop owner said she had reneged on a promise to help him avoid deportation in exchange for free pizza.


Damn, Turd. You shoulda stripped for her. That would've done it.