Rev Thwack's Story Corner

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I suppose that it isn't worth pointing out that I am a Pope, is it?

BLOW IT OUT YOUR MITRE, PAPIST!

[riff]

(a little gear goes click in Riff's head)

Mitre saw! Saaaay...

[Rev Thwack]

well, this is disturbing. I know that I have been gone on vacation and havn't logged in for the last month, but at least someeone could have tried to keep my thread alive. Makes me feel like my stories are unwanted and unwelcome here. Guess I will just go sulk in a corner for now.




Wait, that's right, I enjoy torture. I guess I will have to write a new story soon to threaten you all with, huh? Well then, expect one in a day or two, and fear it's coming.

[Bella]

Well, don't pout long, because I've been sitting here waiting for another story.
My fingernails are worn down from the drumming them impatiently
on the computer desk and/or biting them in frustration at such
a long wait between stories.

As for the thread......no point in whining about the lack of stories to someone who isn't even here, Thwak.

[Rev Thwack]

well, yes, but I'm out of pudding, so I have to find something to do.

[Bella]

No pudding? I'm sorry.
But at least you're back and in story telling mode.....I hope.

PS: What flavor pudding are you out of?

[Rev Thwack]

all of them. I miss that skunk flavord too... Do you have any idea how hard it is to find?

[Bella]

I guess I'm spoiled, Thwak.
The skunks just seem to show up around here
every evening or so and offer themselves up as pudding ingredients.
It's the damn wild chocolates and butterscotches I have a hard time running down.

Sigh.....we have to find you some pudding to put you in the mood to write more stories.

[Rev Thwack]

well, I'm just about to head to lunch, so maby I can find some there.

[Bella]

cool

*Bella crosses her fingers and hopes Thwak finds pudding is being served for lunch today.*

[Rev Thwack]

You know, there are times in every man's life where he has to stop and ask himself if he is doing the right thing. For some of us, this is a common occurance... for others, not so common. I was always one of those that very rarely felt the need to ask myself that. I usualy keep a strong set of morals and self guidelines that help me know that whatever I am doing, it's the right answer. I feel that I am a good judge of what is and is not right, and pretty much never feel the need to question myself or my choices. The other night was an exception. Everything started pretty normaly... the bodies had been properly dried before I brought them up from the basement, the chardoney had been properly chilled, the stereo was playing Frank Sinatra as a comfortable listening volume... all in all it was looking like a nice evening. I wasn't bothered when the proximity alarms started going off... I had been expecting the police for some time, and the claymores that I had lined the driveway with took care of that problem and left me with some time to prepare for the further annoyance that the police would try to provide. I turned on the rest of the automated defenses and prepared for the fun. I knew all of this was right... it's hard to doubt what you are doing when you have been directed by the voice of God. The full assault took place about a hour after the police had first tried the raid. Two armored SWAT vans made it past the automated turrets mounted in front of the house, but the eight squad cars that were following were not as lucky. As for the people trying to repell down onto the roof... well, one of their helicopters was taken out by a rocket turret and a few others quickly learned what electrocution feels like, but all in all they fared much better than those trying by ground. Eventualy the survivors found their way inside. As they started working their way thru the house and the myriad of traps their numbers shrank even further, and by the time they reached the outer door for my living room their were only three left. The look of absolute terror on their faces when they realized that they were locked in a room with five adult lions was priceless. I amused myself by trying to predict who would die whenever one of the lions turned their attention to the group. When the first lion died I started to think. I had never ment to cause the death of an innocent creature. This was one of the only traps that I had devised without direction from God, and was the only trap that invovled a living, thinking creature. When I saw the two remaining cops regroup and start to fire at the lions I couldn't help but doubt myself. These beautiful and majestic creatures were being slaughtered, and all because of me. A choice that I had made was costing their lives and destroying their families. Never again would their young see them... and it was all my fault. I couldn't watch anymore and turned off the monitors. The whole time I was collecting the bodies of the cops that had died in the assault my mind kept returning to the images of intelligent life being extinguised. My nomaly cheerfull task of cutting off the heads of the invaders and preparing them to be sent by FedEx to their homes was plauged by thoughts of how I had caused pain and suffering to the mates and young of those five that had died because of me. Never before had I doubed my actions so, and never again would I use an intelligent creature in my actions. It was hard, but I was finaly able to tear my thoughts away from what I had done once God started telling me about his next plan for me and the endless number of Taco Bell workers who had wronged him... I can tell you now, no creature will be harmed to bring about their death.

[Bella]

Hurray! They must have been serving pudding for lunch.
I am content now that there is a new story.

PS: I always knew Taco Bell was an evil place.

[Rev Thwack]

no, they didn't have pudding. I just managed to get over the loss of mine.

[Bella]

I'm impressed that you were able to overcome this horrendous obstacle and write another story for us.

[Rev Thwack]

well, ya know, some things just have to be done. On that note, I'm off to go kick a puppy.