Rev Thwack's Story Corner

[Rev Thwack]

Hmm.... you know, that sounds like something that Dear Bella might be able to help you with.

[Bella]

Hmm.... you know, that sounds like something that Dear Bella might be able to help you with.

Nope. She's hopeless at it.

PS: You didn't say if you're feeling better yet.

[Z³]

I don't think I ever told any of you this, but it was a rather interesting chain of events that brought me here. I had been sitting at work doing my daily routine of downloading porn and flogging the log, when this beautiful woman walked into my office. Now I kind of expected her to start complaining about the fact that there was a picture of some 12 year old asian girl getting a horse dick up the ass on the monitor and my wedding tackle held firmly in my hand. I guess her 90-something years on this planet were interesting ones, for instead of telling me how it was wrong for me to be engaged so, she decided break out some camping equipment she had and started cooking pancakes over a gas stove. Well, if there is anything in this world that I enjoy more than a good wank to underage beastiality, it's pancakes. The smell was completly overpowering... I forgot what I had been doing and turned around, standing too fast without letting go and removing my rod for about the 7th time that week. Needless to say, I was a bit miffed because I knew that I had used the last of my superglue to stick the cat to the celing. With a shrug I threw my dis-member over my back where it glanced off of my lube bottle that had been sitting on top of my monitor. It took a few minutes, but the goo must have shorted out something because the montior imploded with a deafining lack of noise. I never noticed the fire that started engulfing my desk (and french poodle pieces) due to the wonderful taste of the pancakes that I was enjoying. I don't think I ever would have noticed it, if it hadn't been for the fact that the 90-something year old woman ran out of the office screaming about the fire just as I finished a pancake. I instantly considered it my civic duty to track her down and make sure she was ok, since she had taken the pancakes with her. Using my keen sense of smell that I had inherited from my sheepdog father, I followed the 90-something year old woman around the block and down the street, placing me about two blocks away when the first crate of grenades exploded back in my office. It didn't take much longer for me to catch up to her, and with a mighty yell I landed on her back, knocking her to the ground and breaking her left hip. With shouts of "Gimme the pancakes, Bitch!" and "Cook if you want to live!", I continued my morning breakfast of pancakes cooked over a gas stove by a terrified and broken 90-something year old woman. I was completly enjoying my pancakes, and had no moral problems with killing the cop that came to see if we were alright... after all, he should have known better than to ask for a pancake. Well, a few gunfights and many pancakes later, the 90-something year old woman ran out of pancake batter, so of course she had to die. I kind of wandered the street alone for a bit since everyone was either dead or running away. It didn't bother me that I was alone... it kind of felt right that I should be feeling a longing for companionship as well as the longing for pancakes so recently cooked by a 90-something year old woman who is now slumped over dead in the street from a few dozen gunshot wounds to the head.



I still miss those pancakes to this day.

That story was better than hentai pokemon fanfiction...
and thats saying a lot!!!

[Bella]

Yeah, isn't it great?
This is why we clamor for more stories.
Speaking of clamoring............I want another story, please!

[Rev Thwack]

Ok, but it's not going to be a good one.

[Rev Thwack]

blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood ever blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood feel blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood like blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood all blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood of blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood your blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood creativity blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood has blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood dried blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood up blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood leaving blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood you blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood just blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood a blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood shell blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood of blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood the blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood person blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood you blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood were blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood before? blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood Well blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood , blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood that's blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood not blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood how blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood I blood blood blood blood blood blood blood feel blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood now blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood , blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood it's blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood just blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood that blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood I blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood am blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood having blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood a blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood war blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood with blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood writers blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood block blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood . blood blood blood blood blood blood bloodblood blood blood blood blood blood blood

[Malaria test subject #777]

I just read these other stories and they're great.
Nice and evil - just the way I like 'em.

[Rev Thwack]

evil? Oh shit... never intended for any of them to be evil. Damn... Bella, Penumbral, hope you two don't mind, but it looks like I am going to have to eat my stories. I don't want people taking them the wrong way.  

[Bella]

Nooooo..........My friend, Mal meant that as compliment, I'm sure.
He likes me because I'm evil....so please don't eat your stories.
I'll hold my breath and pout if you do.

EDIT: PS:  Mwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just went in and stole all your stories.
No point in eating them now, Thwak because they're
mine all mine......and I'm keeping them.

[Rev Thwack]

Well, in that case I am going to have to take a cue from Darl McBride. Expect my lawyers to be contacting you shortly about misappropriation of my IP.

[Bella]

Your lawyers, huh?

I can only imagine what your lawyers must be like.
I'm quite sure they are susceptible to bribery and extortion.
Not that a sweet little zombie like me would ever resort
to such underhanded tactics.

[Rev Thwack]

well, I'm sure they are too, but I have no idea what you can use to bribe them.... what in the hell would you use to bribe a mars rover with anyway? I use them because they don't ask for anything in payment, except to be reformated every now and then. You should see them in action though... they have all these neat little attachments to wow the jury with and when they present the pictures they take and show how they use the little dial on top of them to get a true color approximation out of their black and white photos... wow.... I've never seen a jury fall into a lawyers hands like that before.... well, maby not hands, but attachment arm. Of course, if things seem to be going bad, all they have to do is start transmitting data back to NASA until everyone gets so tired of their beeping sound that they give in. I swear, these are the best lawyers I have ever had... next to Godzilla, of course, but the courts won't let me retain him anymore.... he kind of killed a few too many judges.

[Bella]

Hmmm...sounds like a challenge alright.
And much as I like a challenge, I'm awfully lazy.
So, I'll just sic devil squerrel on the lot of you if you sue me.
She's young and has lots of energy....why I remember that one time when she and Godzilla got into it.....you should have seen the mayhem
those two caused. She's really into robotics lately, too.....this should be fun.

[Rev Thwack]

oh shit.....



Umm.....



how about no lawyers?



running, running, running.....

[Bella]

Kewl
I just called her off.....so you're safe, Thwak.
For now, anyway.
Distracted her with nachos, which always puts her in a good mood,
and a cruise with her mother in the silver mustang I so covet.