Jesus Died for YOU

[Trollax]

Many of the teachings of Christ makes more sense if you realize that as an Essene,he had access to ancient(for him,anyway) teachings and practices of Shecinah,the feminine equivelent of YHWH.Many of the common hebrews of that time worshiped Shecinah as much as YHWH.Her worship was brutally oppressed by the Hebrew priesthood and military.All mentiopn of her was stricken from most of the records,her shrines and alters destroyed.The "God in the New Testement is not the same God as the God of the Old testement.I think Yeshua had to say "the father"(as opposed to the "Mother") to get his message across.If he had said "the mother,they would of crucified him a lot sooner then they did.

Eris has revealed to me that she was in fact Shecinah(she was also YHWH,but was drunk at the time).We of the Church of Eris declare the PFKAM(prophet formally known as Messiah) Jesus Christ to be renamed Yeshua ban Shecinah,and placed in our canon of "REALLY COOL DUDES AND DUDETTES".

On a semi-serious note. Is shecinah related to Enlil in any way? Are they the same person? Because the confusing part is, Jehova had a wife, that people often confuse with Enlil, but on the one hand he threw Enlil out. Meanwhile of course Enlil is still mentioned as being around Jehova. So... did he marry his sister? and why was his brother OK with that?

[Not Telling]

Ultimate Christian Wrestling

[illusion]

Bowling For Jesus
Because he died for our pins.

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

If Jesus couldn't save himself, how in the world can he save me?

He was secure enough in hes believe system and was able to escape the world as it is.... but I see where your comeing from.

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

Isn't it funny that the Goddess made Greyfaces?(on her period really. Side they make themselves.)
Isn't it funny how one mans dogma is another man's humor?(Both the same for Erisians)
Isn't it funny you thought you'd save souls but now people think you work for The Man?
Isn't it funny how people get beaurucratic about the mysteries of nature?(courtesy of Shewutdunitall)
Isn't it funny how they made fun of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on the last Episode of South Park?

this is all funny

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

Isn't it funny how religious people can zealously worship and follow someone, without paying the least bit of attention to his actual teachings and beliefs?

Isn't it funny how Jesus pointed at the stars, and everyone worships the finger?

there was a finger?!?!?

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

Isn't it funny how we can hijack this topic any time we want?

i guess... it's not really anymore funny then anytime we hijack a topic.

[Bella]

Isn't it funny how religious people can zealously worship and follow someone, without paying the least bit of attention to his actual teachings and beliefs?

Isn't it funny how Jesus pointed at the stars, and everyone worships the finger?

there was a finger?!?!?

If you don't pay the least bit of attention to the actual beliefs and teachings of the person you worship and follow, then you aren't really worshiping or following them.

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

Isn't it funny how Discordians never come and pester Christians about their absurdity but Christians feel fine pestering Discordians about theirs?

Isn't it funny how every group on this post is Pope and so has Plenary indulgence?

Isn't it funny that Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Shintoism, and many others can have their stuff taught in religious education lessons but all of them can laugh at the Discordian and say he's saying bollocks?

Why is it not a hate crime to laugh at a Discordians beliefs?
Is it because he laughs at them
(ps he means she, means me, means thee)

I actually have been pestered by discordians for my christian beliefs...but in response... I don't see that guys one post.... only one post as pestering.... oh well... I guess some people just have a hypersensitivity to these things.

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

How come Christians never call their messiah by his real name.There was no one in ancient Jerusalem Named "Jesus Christ".There was however,a radical and charismatic rabbi who was crucified by the Romans on behast of the Judaic Pharrisees named Yeshua ben Yosef(technically it would probably be ben Yahweh).
The Christains hijacked the legacy of a very wise and beautiful philosipher.
They had the nerve to change his name to"Jesus Christ".Wrote 4 onflicting reports on his life 50 to 60 years after his death .These heathens then went around the globe converting anyone they get their sights on,murdering those who won't convert,stealing their lands,enlaved africans and generally comminting acts of genocide.
I have stated this in another post.We erisians should reclaim "Christ" away from the infidels who desecrate his memory.

four conflicting reports... have you ever had four people talk about the same person before... this to me seems to be proof that this man existed...(and are you meaning to imply that Julius ceaser is not worth learning about because we don't call him buy his "true name" )yes great wrongs have been done in his name... have you read c.s. lewis on this very issue?!?!?

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

Jesus said to his disciples, "Compare me to something and tell me what I am like." They said, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed." Jesus said, "What?"

he continued to go on by saying... "I am a verb you morons...I'm hungry and this time it is about the bread."

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

Please read this no matter what you believe
Do you think YOU will pass it on?

muuuuu........

One day Satan, Jesus and Eris were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating andf boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.

"Why would you want that bunch of losers anyway?", Eris chimed in sweetly. "They are nothing but a bunch of mindless sheep, constantly whining and praying for 'God' to fix their problems. They're pathetic."

Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"

"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.

"Can I watch?" Eris asked.

"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.

"Wait a minute," Eris said, "You don't want to kill 'em. Then they won't be amusing anymore. I've got a much better idea."

Satan looked interested, but mostly because he had a secret crush on Eris.


"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.

"What are you on about?" Eris asked somewhat perturbed. "Will you stop with all of this Son of God crap?"

Jesus was somewhat taken aback, "Er, well I mean aren't I supposed to do something to save all these people?"

"Save them from what? Themselves? Their natural tendancy toward chaos? Their constant inability to control even their basest emotion? I mean what do you expect to save?" Eris looked at Jesus pointedly and sighed.

"But, thats what my Father wants. I am his only-begotten son, and I should give my life to save the human race from Satan here.... right?" Jesus said, questions beginning to show in his eyes.

"Jesus Christ! Whaat are you thinking? Your Father is some Almighty God, if he really wanted to save people, don't you think he could just kill Satan here?" She looked breifly at Satan, who was suddenly uncomfortable,"No offense, smoky" Eris concluded.

"Err, well there's the whole thing about proving yourself or something. At any rate, HE wishes it to be this way." Jesus was obviously concerned with the direction the conversation was taking.

"How about this," Eris said smiling, "We will con a bunch of gullible humans into writing down that you two did everything you're suppsoed to do. People are sheep, they;ll believe that it happened and we can go do something else. Besides, if people think that God's Son came down to earth, you realize how much chaos that will cause? Everyone will try to follow you their own way, and powerful people will force weaker people to follow you their way. Then groups of powerful people will fight about your beliefs... it'll be great!!!"

Jesus looked disturbed "But, won't there be suffering?"

"Of course," Eris smiled sweetly "But, they're humans there will be suffering no matter what you do. If you go down there and tell people to love each other, they will, and they will give everyone else the choice of loving each other according to their rules, or they will kill them. It doesn't matter what you say."

Satan looked depressed "Damn it all to hell! I spent all this time setting a trap and I caught people who were already damned? That's not fair!"

Eris smiled at the poor horned troublemaker, "Tell ya what, why do the three of us head back to my place, I've got some great Kine Bud that is just ready to smoke, and I made a bong out of the Horsehead Nebula last week. Wanna try it out?"

Jesus and Satan looked at each other, looked at the earth and looked at Eris (who at this point made sure her dress slipped down to expose a little flesh)."I'm sure there is more entertaining stuff to do back at my place," she said sweetly and whisked them off to Limbo.

Jesus and Satan got so stoned that they forgot about the silly humans and their pathetic sheeplike ways. Eris, on the other hand decided to implement her little chaos causing schemes and what we see today is the fault of "She What Done It All".






Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash the idea of chaos, when in reality it surrounds every aspect of their life?

Isn't it funny how they will believe that a God Of Love will burn them for eternity, because of being bad for 70 years or so, but won't believe that Eris is just as real (and a lot more fun)?

Isn't it funny how Christians think that everyone wants to go to heaven, which if they thought about it sounds like a very boring place to be?

Isn't it funny how someone can say 'I Believe In God' and someone else can say 'I Believe in God', but then argue ofver which God is right, though neither has seen their God or any definate proof of their God's existance?

Isn't it funny that Christians use dogma instead of logical discussion and critical thinking to base their eentire view of reality?

Are you Laughing?

If not, think about this:

The student came to the Chaos Mage and asked for enlightenment, the Chaos Mage looked at the student and tried to remember the number of times that this student had asked this question. He tried to remember every illustration, parable and myth he had told the student in  order to set him on a decent path of thought.. yet, the student still came asking fdor enlightenment.

The Chaos Mage produced a bottle of everclear and a lighter. He poured the everclear on the student and lit it. Then he went back to the bar for some peace anhd quiet.


Ratatosk, Squirrel of Discord

this one is the closest of them... remember it's not just the christians.... but at least it was funny.

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

i dont know a damn thing about sports, evilpoet, but that was damn funny!

I agree with you on this... ( yours was the shorter post and was nearby).... this guy is a natural.... funny stuff guy.

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

Isn't it funny how religious people can zealously worship and follow someone, without paying the least bit of attention to his actual teachings and beliefs?

Isn't it funny how Jesus pointed at the stars, and everyone worships the finger?

there was a finger?!?!?

If you don't pay the least bit of attention to the actual beliefs and teachings of the person you worship and follow, then you aren't really worshiping or following them.

that i understand.... but this whole time I was looking at the moon I forgot that there was a finger and that it was perfect in it's individuality.... continues to look at the moon.

[Bella]

:P