Into The Night With Enrico And So-Called Friends

[LMNO]

Um... I liked it better when it was enrico that was humping my leg.  Could you get theis fucking thing off me before i fucking puke all over it?

::turns a sickly shade of green::

[Enrico Salazar]

The point was for you to puke all over it.  What kind of show you think this is?

Sorry Eldora, go on, who would win?

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

That's hard to say.  I would definitely say the wolverine, they are scrappy and determined, just like my friend Enrico.  Tazmanian devils are feisty, but they lack a focus, like some of the people who post around here.  I pray to Eris for them to find their way.

:whistles:
:cute young man comes out with bird:
Thanks sweetie:wink:
:slaps young man's ass:
:young man takes wolverine offstage:

Enrico, this is an African grey parrot, his name is Butch

Butch: Enrico, my glorious faggot

I taught him that especially for your show.

[LMNO]

::in a moment truly worthy of slo-motion photography, LMNO spews an enormous amount of suspciously blue, viscous material all over the wolverine, with Eldora receiveing much of the splatter off the poor drenched beast, who is still pumping away furiously at LMNO's calf::

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

:whistles:
:young man comes out with pampers diaper wipes, extra large bin:
For crying out loud, alpha d00d, since when can't you hold your liquor, really.  The wolverine has had more than you and all it did was make him horny  

[Enrico Salazar]

GORGEOUS!

Now, that is being sent to the Emmys for consideration.

Hoopla, get out here and collect this pile of bile, vomit and Head and Shoulders!  Earn yer goddam keep!

What a horribly ugly bird that is, Eldora . . . and it speaks such beautiful poetry.  Is strange.

The national bird of Salazore is the Turkey Vulture, a truly resplendent specimen.  Tis bird is horrid in comparison, yet can speak, and the vulture cannot.

Is this bird possessed by demons?

[hooplala]

*comes out in rubber gloves with a bucket*

BRRFFFF!

*runs back offstage*

[LMNO]

::wipes mouth::

It wasn't the liquor... Musta been all the smurf blood.

Dammit, enrico!  YOu said those fuckin smurfs were fucking fresh!

[Enrico Salazar]

Hey, Enrico can only go by what Gargamel tells him.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Not that I know of, but since it has been staying at my house, I would not be surprised.  He can say a lot of words and can identify a lot of things.  

Butch:  That guy is drunk.  Sloppy drunk.  No excuse.

Yes, LMNO seems to be having problems today.  Very uncharacteristic of him.  

Turkey Vultures are very adaptable.  They have taken up residence in a hospital near where I live.  Scares the crap out of people, which alone makes all the Discordians want to protect them.

[LMNO]

Hey!  Is that bird starting shit with me?

Fuck you bird.  Why don't you go feltch an iguana, or something.

AND WHERE'S MY GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING DRINK!?

::falls off couch::

[Enrico Salazar]

Enrico has a surprise for you too, Eldora.

(pulls scorpion from shirt pocket)

This is Dildo, he is Enrico's scorpion. He speaks too, come on Dildo, say what Enrico taught you . . . come on . . .

He is a little shy. Must be the lights.

Come on Dildo, speak to Eldora . . .

UROKKNOI!

(tosses scorpion to ground and stomps it)

He was always quite stupid.Enrico has a surprise for you too, Eldora.

(pulls scorpion from shirt pocket)

This is Dildo, he is Enrico's scorpion. He speaks too, come on Dildo, say what Enrico taught you . . . come on . . .

He is a little shy. Must be the lights.

Come on Dildo, speak to Eldora . . .

UROKKNOI!

(tosses scorpion to ground and stomps it)

He was always quite stupid.

[hooplala]

*brings LMNO a bottle of bourbon and a straw*

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

hmmm, there seems to be an echo in here.  Too bad about Dildo, I miss him already.  You did know my birthday is in November, didn't you?

Thank you Baron.  I fear the only way to deal with LMNO today is to keep him quite drunk  

[LMNO]

::sluuuuuuurp::